The Yugi Files
by Nate Grey
Summary: Subrealityset.  Nate & his Muses take in an abandoned fictive and show him the brighter side of life.
1. Second Chance

Note: Prolly my only fic ever to be set in Shantytown. Rated PG-13 for stuff.  
  
Summary: One lucky fictive finds his way out of Shantytown...just not the way he'd expected.  
  
  
Second Chance  
by XMAN0123  
  
  
There was nothing for it, they told him. No medicine, no advice, no nothing.  
  
Nothing.  
  
That's what happened to all the fictives in Shantytown, eventually. They became nothing.   
  
Nothing.  
  
He hadn't accepted it at first. That little part of him tucked into his last remaining treasure hadn't let him. It had fought against extinction, raged against time, and defied the will of the ruthless force that maintained Shantytown for eons. It had kept him young, innocent, and full of life.  
  
But even it couldn't save his grandfather.  
  
When the old man had died, an important part of the boy died with him. Then he was alone, left with nothing but faint memories, ravaged by the aura of forgetfulness that had always surrounded Shantytown. Soon, they would fade, too. He hardly knew his own name anymore. Not that it mattered. Who would bother to call out to a fictive in Shantytown?  
  
* * * * *  
  
It was stupid, he realized as he ran. He knew that now. Stupid to hope. Stupid to dream. Stupid to ever think he could escape Shantytown. It had claimed billions of other fictives. Why should he be any different?  
  
The dirt in front of him exploded, sending dust and rocks into his face.   
  
He closed his eyes and kept running, simply because there was no other choice.  
  
It had been his own fault. He'd heard stories of the Marauders and the like. Untamed fictives that roamed the outskirts of Shantytown, looking to pick off anyone they decided wasn't close enough to death. Speeding up the inevitable, they called it. Lending Death a helping hand.  
  
He'd met her once, he thought. Only she'd seemed a lot nicer back then. He thought, anyway.  
  
Despite the stories, he'd tried it, anyway. It had been ages since he'd played the game, but once you played, you never really forgot the rules.  
  
So he'd tried. And it had worked, too.  
  
Sort of.  
  
The Dark Magician had risen from his flat prison with an unearthly grace, stretching his arms as he harnessed his long-forgotten powers.  
  
The boy had smiled at seeing his old friend again. His loyal helper. His faithful servant.  
  
And then, of course, whatever the force was that controlled Shantytown had taken notice.  
  
Magic was a dangerous thing. It could give fictives hope, and worst of all, in the right hands, it could give them freedom.  
  
It could also doom them to a fate worse than death.  
  
A crimson light had entered the Dark Magician's eyes, and the boy knew with certainty that he'd sealed his own fate. And so he'd run, crying at the loss of his only friend, and crying for himself, because he knew that soon, he'd never cry or do anything else. That is, if the Dark Magician was merciful enough to just kill him right away. He suspected that it wouldn't be that simple.  
  
More dirt exploded around him, and something pierced his thigh. The boy cried out as he fell, trying to turn the fall into a roll. He succeeded, tumbling down the muddy hill at a fantastic rate with no hope of stopping himself. But if he'd stopped, ever, he would've been dead already.  
  
He could feel the Dark Magician behind him, either readying the final blow or smiling as he decided to play with the boy some more. The boy wasn't sure which choice would've been worse by then. He was tired, so very tired.  
  
The boy finally reached the bottom of the hill, landing face-first in a mud puddle. He stumbled to his feet and kept running, wiping mud from his face, hoping he might restore some of his already limited vision. He hadn't been sleeping well lately, and that made it harder to keep his eyes open.  
  
Then, without warning, his legs gave out. He hit the dirt hard and rolled onto his back. He wanted to see it coming, for some reason.  
  
The Dark Magician loomed over him, crimson eyes locking on his violet ones. They stared at each other for many moments, not speaking, not moving. Just...staring.  
  
Then, for no real reason at all, the boy had reached for his heart. Maybe it was just a twist of fate, or maybe something as insignificant as a sudden itch in his final hour. Whatever the reason, his fingers had brushed something hard and cold.   
  
He looked down.  
  
It was there. Cold, mud-covered, and heavier than he recalled, but it was there.  
  
Slowly, he brushed some mud off, uncovering the design on the front. He stared at it, trying to remember the familiar words blocked by the haze. "Yi-ee-go...Yig-eh-no..."  
  
They wouldn't come.  
  
The Dark Magician continued to stare.  
  
"Yugi...remember..." a voice carried by the wind whispered.  
  
The boy's eyes widened. "G-Grampa?"  
  
No. The old man was dead. But still...  
  
He stared harder at the object nestled in his hand. It seemed to be lighter now, almost...shining in the pale moonlight.  
  
He would try again.  
  
"Ya-ni-go...Yo-ir-no...Yu-gi...oh?"  
  
Yes. That was it. Wasn't it?  
  
"Yu-gi-oh."  
  
Yes. That sounded a little better, more confident. But...why hadn't it worked?  
  
The boy frowned, his heart filling with a sudden urgency.  
  
"Yu-gi-oh. Yu-gi-oh! Yu-gi-oh!!!"  
  
The Dark Magician started, then snarled as he raised his hands.  
  
"No! Not yet!" the boy cried. He gripped the object until his knuckles turned white, as if willing it to work. "Yu-gi-oh! Yu-gi-oh! Yu-gi-oh!"  
  
Nothing.  
  
What he was soon to be, he realized.  
  
"Yu-gi-oh! Please! Yu-gi-oh!" Tears spilled down his face, mixing the mud and running into his gaping mouth. The taste was horrible, worse than the coppery taste of his own blood.  
  
Twin balls of black energy formed in front of the Dark Magician's hands. With a sinister smile on his face, he finally spoke.   
  
"Goodbye, Master."  
  
"No! Don't do this to me! You HAVE to work! Please?!" With what he thought to be his last breath, the boy tried one last time to save himself. He threw back his head and lifted his voice to what would've been the heavens...at least, in any other place.   
  
"YU-GI-OOOOOOOOOH!"  
  
...Nothing.  
  
The Dark Magician laughed and fired.  
  
The boy covered his mud-streaked hair with both hands, waiting for oblivion.  
  
But unless oblivion had come in the form of an angel of death, or unless he'd already gone to heaven, something wasn't quite right.  
  
The angel seemed to smile as she appeared between them, knocking the Dark Magician's blasts away with her hand. "Close enough," she said, throwing a wink the boy's way.  
  
  
The Dark Magician growled and tried again.  
  
This time, the angel blocked the blasts with a hastily constructed shield of golden energy. She turned back to the boy and held her hand out to him. "Are you okay?"  
  
He stared into her big, blue eyes, sensing the power of ancients within her.  
  
A power he'd once had himself, until this dreadful place.  
  
"Please," he whispered, the tears renewing themselves in his eyes. "Just do it quickly."  
  
"Do what?"  
  
"Kill me. Hurry. Before anything else happens."  
  
Her face fell, losing some of its radiant light.   
  
The boy closed his eyes, waiting for the sharp flash of pain in his neck, or maybe in his head. Instead, a strange sensation filled him as something claimed his lips with warm, pleasant softness. He tasted sugar, candy, and strawberries. Eventually, he dared to open his eyes.  
  
The angel was kissing him, carefully cupping his face with her small, soft hands, as if she might break him.   
  
That was when the dark-haired boy with glasses had appeared next to them. "There's no time for this, Yugi!" he cried. "We have to leave now!"  
  
The boy instantly broke the kiss, whipping his head around. "How do you know my name?!"  
  
The angel sighed and raised her hands. "Ready."  
  
The dark-haired boy joined hands with her and closed his eyes, murmuring something under his breath.  
  
The world turned upside-down, then faded to darkness.  
  
* * * * *  
  
There was a light shining on his face, he could tell, but he didn't want to wake up. He wasn't sure if he wanted to see heaven just yet, because it would mean that he was dead.  
  
Then a cool hand patted his cheek gently. "Come on," a voice insisted. "Wake up, kid."  
  
Finally, he gave in and opened his eyes. He caught sight of the wild, black hair, pale skin, and black lips. His eyes widened, and he mouthed the word instead of saying it.  
  
"Death?"  
  
She smiled. "Not really, no. You're alive, Yugi."  
  
Yugi blinked several times, then sat up. It felt good to have someone call him that again, instead of whatever it was they had called him in Shantytown.  
  
"Do you hurt anywhere?" she asked, her eyes filled with concern.  
  
A darkness seemed to pass through his violet eyes as he pressed a hand to his heart. "Only here."  
  
"I'm sorry for your pain," she said, pressing her hand over his. "We should've come sooner."  
  
"We?" he asked. "You were...with the ones who saved me?"  
  
She nodded. "You were already out cold by the time I saw you. You can just call me D, by the way."  
  
Yugi nodded, glancing around. "What...is this place?"  
  
"Nate's Place. That's the official name. The unofficial one being Yugi & D's Crash Pad."  
  
Yugi raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Oh, right. I KNEW the name thing would cause some trouble." She sighed. "Okay. The boy you might've saw, with the glasses? That's Eriol. The girl you had to see, unless you've taken to kissing in your sleep, was Yugi. Same as you, but female."  
  
"The same," he murmured, remembering the ancient power he'd sensed in his rescuer...well, both his rescuers, now that he thought about it.  
  
"Want a burrito?" D asked, smiling hopefully.  
  
"A what?"  
  
"Are you hungry?"  
  
"Oh. Yes. Very."  
  
D giggled. "She was right. You're too cute."  
  
"She?"  
  
"Yugi. Uh, the other one. We have GOT to do something about that..."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Nate, you can stop cuddling me now," Yugi said, brushing her blonde hair out of her face again. "I told you, I'm okay."  
  
"And I might just believe you this time," Nate replied, kissing her forehead. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Stop saying that. We're fine. Really. Tell him, Eriol."  
  
The boy raised his head, and smiled his innocent, eerie smile. "All is well."  
  
"See? Eriol doesn't lie. Anymore. Most of the time. Well, not THIS time."  
  
Eriol smiled again, then went back to watching himself on TV. "God, I don't even SOUND like that..."  
  
Nate continued to cuddle his Muse. "Whatever. I shouldn't have sent you there."  
  
"Yes, you should've, and you did. Case closed." Yugi pushed his head away. "I never thought I'd say this, but stop that."  
  
"Fine. But I'm taking you all in for a check-up in the morning. You and D and Eriol and the other Yugi especially."  
  
"All is well!" Eriol repeated, muttering a string of curses in Japanese. "Baka! I would NEVER say that!"  
  
"Stop watching the dub, Eriol. You know it gets your blood pressure up." Nate finally let Yugi go. "So do you think he's awake yet?"  
  
"Well, I told D to come get me the minute he woke up, so no...unless she's trying to keep him for herself." Yugi thought for a moment. "I should go in there."  
  
"No need, Yugi," D replied as she emerged from Nate's bedroom. "Our cutie is awake."  
  
The boy slowly came out behind her, trying to remember the last time he'd been that clean. It had been before Shantytown, so it was understandably pretty much impossible to remember.  
  
Yugi smiled. "Hey, you."  
  
The boy turned to look at her, his violet eyes almost doubling in size. "Then...you weren't a dream?"  
  
"I could be, if you asked me real nice," Yugi replied with a wink. "I don't go messing around in just anybody's head."  
  
Nate and D both coughed loudly at this.   
  
"Shuddap!" Yugi snapped, shooting glares at both of them. She turned and smiled at the boy again. "Feeling better?"  
  
He nodded slowly. "I think so."  
  
"That mean you've gotten rid of that death wish?"  
  
He nodded again.  
  
"Good. Cuz you're way too cute to be dying on me."  
  
His cheeks turned scarlet. "I'm...uh...hungry..."  
  
Nate grinned. "We could all use a good meal, and I need to get out of the house. Who's up for a trip to the Sake Bar?"  
  
"Can I get a Monster Margarita?" Yugi asked.  
  
"Sure. But only if you share it with D."  
  
"What's a Sake Bar?" the boy asked, looking confused.  
  
"Fear not, my friend," Eriol said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You're in the company of angels now."  
  
The boy looked thoughtful. "I didn't know angels were allowed to consume alcohol."  
  
Eriol blinked. "Ah...well...these are different angels."  
  
"The alcohol-consuming kind?"  
  
Eriol sighed. "Perhaps it would be best to explain this once we've eaten."  
  
"Good. It sounds like a long conversation."  
  
"C'mon, guys," Yugi said, herding them to the door. "There's a margarita with my name on it waiting for us."  
  
The boy turned to look at her. "I never really thanked you. For saving me, I mean."  
  
Yugi grinned. "Sure you did. That was a pretty good kiss, Romeo."  
  
The boy blushed. "But weren't YOU the one who kissed me?"  
  
"You people are all stuck on the details of everything!" Yugi muttered, pushing him out the door.  
  
"Just smile and nod," Eriol whispered to him. "You'll find it's much easier that way."  
  
The boy nodded-then smiled-and tried to look like he was enjoying himself.  
  
Then Yugi grabbed his hand, winked at him, and pulled him along after the others. And suddenly, he realized that he wasn't pretending anymore.  
  
  
Disclaimer: Yugi (uh, the boy) and the Dark Magician belong to...uh...I forget. But not me. Yugi (the girl) & D do belong to me...sort of. Eriol belongs to Tomoyo-chan...uh...I meant CLAMP. Really.   



	2. The Name Game

Summary: Nate gathers some of his trusted fictives to help him name the second Yugi...only to find that was a BAD idea.  
I guess this one is actually G-rated, but that doesn't sound too fun, so I'll say it's PG-13 anyway.  
  
  
The Name Game  
By XMAN0123  
------------  
"We're going to be very civilized about this. Right?"  
  
Seven heads nodded.  
  
"Good." Nate took a deep breath. "Now. Each of you will submit a name. Yugi & D will decide on three finalists, and we'll go from there. Are we clear?"  
  
Again, seven heads nodded.  
  
"Okay. Go."  
  
The fictives quickly wrote down their suggestions and handed them to Nate.  
  
"Thanks. Okay, here we go." Nate cleared his throat and looked at the first name.  
  
There was silence for a long moment.  
  
"Well?" D asked after a moment.  
  
Nate sighed. "Powerman 6000."  
  
"You can throw that one away," Yugi said.  
  
"HEY!" Trunks shouted.  
  
"And YOU can leave," Yugi added, looking at him in disgust.  
  
"Stop it, Yugi." Nate moved on to the next paper and froze again.  
  
"Now what?" D asked.  
  
Nate closed his eyes. "Dean-o Hack, The Muse of a Thousand Holds."  
  
Yugi & D stared at each other (and so they missed Gohan's look of pride).  
  
"I'm beginning to doubt the wisdom of asking fictives for help," D muttered.  
  
"Beginning?" Yugi asked, glaring at the seven fictives assembled on the couch.   
  
Nate went to the next paper. He read it, blinked, and read it again.  
  
"C'mon, Nate. Let's get this over with," Yugi sighed.  
  
The Writer shook his head. "King Tut II."  
  
Yugi slapped her forehead. "Just keep going. Please."  
  
Nate nodded and read the next one. He paused again.  
  
"Nate, just READ it," D growled.  
  
"Spike: Son of Washu."  
  
Everyone looked at Washu.  
  
"That was NOT mine!" Washu cried, looking angry.  
  
"Keep going," Yugi sighed.  
  
Nate read the next one with obvious reluctance. "SphinxMan: Protector of the Pyramids."  
  
"Uh huh," D muttered, looking very afraid.  
  
Nate blinked. "Um..."  
  
"What?" Yugi asked.  
  
"I can't..." He sighed. "Washu?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Um...could you just..."  
  
"Sure." Washu launched into a long phrase that sounded if it might be a cross between Latin and German.  
  
"How about a summary?" Yugi asked when the "former" mad scientist was done.  
  
"Basically, Destroyer of Worlds."  
  
"And you couldn't just WRITE that?!" D shouted.  
  
"But I did," Washu replied, looking confused.  
  
"Never mind. Let's just..." Nate trailed off as he reached the last one.  
  
"What now?" Yugi asked.  
  
"I AM NOT READING THIS, VEGETA!"  
  
"You asked for help, and now you don't want it." Vegeta snorted. "Baka Writer..."  
  
"What's it say, Nate?" Yugi asked.  
  
"Well...the part I can read...without offending anyone, mind you...is Baka Boy."  
  
"That offends me," Gohan said.  
  
"Well, just think about the part I left out," Nate replied.  
  
"Oh." Gohan's eyes widened. "OH."  
  
"So that's what we have to work with?!" D muttered. She shook her head. "Poor kid's gonna be scarred for life. We shoulda just left him to die in Shantytown..."  
  
"Well, try, D," Nate suggested. Then, lowering his voice, he added, "We'll make up something else once they're gone."  
  
It took a few minutes, but the two Muses finally narrowed their choices down to three finalists.  
  
"Great," Nate said. "What's left?"  
  
"I picked Destroyer of Worlds and SphinxMan," Yugi said.  
  
"Okay. D?"  
  
D smiled. "I picked...Vegeta's."  
  
Nate stared at her, then quickly turned away. "Okay, VOTE, dammit! Just VOTE!"  
  
"I think he's mad at me," D giggled.  
  
"He's not the only one," Yugi added, glaring at the other Muse.  
  
Soon, the voting was done.   
  
Nate went through the papers one by one. "One vote for SphinxMan."  
  
He paused. "One for...Baka Boy."  
  
Vegeta smirked.  
  
"Two for SphinxMan."  
  
"Three for SphinxMan."  
  
Pause. "TWO for Baka Boy..."  
  
Longer pause. "THREE FOR BAKA BOY?!"  
  
"Uh, Nate," Yugi began.  
  
"I know, I know." He sighed. "One for Destroyer of Worlds."  
  
"So it's down to SphinxMan and Baka Boy," D said with a big smile.  
  
Nate glared at her. "You will pay for this."  
  
She shrugged. "Time to vote again, anyway."  
  
Nate was fuming by the end of the next vote. Baka Boy had won with five votes.  
  
Vegeta was smirking nonstop, of course.  
  
"Well, we're not naming him that!" Nate growled, ripping up the papers. "This was a huge waste of time!"  
  
"Sorry, Nate," Jim apologized. "But Vegeta made us promise that if his choice got to the finals, we had to vote for it."  
  
"He threatened to hurt us," Hotaru added, looking scared.  
  
"Oh, did he?" Nate glared at the Saiyan Prince. "Oh, Yugi, dear?"  
  
Vegeta's famous smirk faltered as the aforementioned Muse appeared beside Nate.  
  
"You called, oh Beloved Writer o' Mine?"  
  
"I did." Nate pointed at Vegeta. "Sic 'em."  
  
Yugi promptly flew across the room and latched onto Vegeta with a surprisingly audible *GLOMP!* "Hi, there!"  
  
Vegeta almost looked afraid as he went Super Saiyan and tried to shake her loose. He wasn't having much luck.  
  
Nate sighed. "That's taken care of. You can all go now. I guess we'll have to think up a name for the poor kid."  
  
"I still like SphinxMan," Hotaru said, looking disappointed.  
  
"I don't understand, Nate-sama?" Sakura asked. "What's wrong with King Tut II?"  
  
Nate looked as if he might smack himself, then patted her head fondly. "Some other time, Sakura-chan. I...need to lie down..."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"So, basically, we're just gonna call you Gamer or Yugi II."  
  
The boy blinked a few times as Yugi licked her ice cream cone. "Okay."  
  
"Good. Now, this Game King fellow I keep hearing about."  
  
"He lives in here," the boy said helpfully, holding up the small pyramid that hung around his neck.  
  
"Yes, I know. I guess we still have to call him Game King...unless he wants a new name, too."  
  
"I don't know," the boy said slowly. "I never asked him."  
  
"Really? Hmm." Yugi finished her cone and smiled at him with strawberry pink lips. "How do you think he'd feel about...SphinxMan?"  
--------  
Disclaimer: Trunks, Gohan, and Vegeta belong to Akira Toriyama. Hotaru belongs to Naoko Takeuchi, Jim belongs to Sunrise, Washu belongs to Pioneer, Sakura belongs to CLAMP, and Yugi/Gamer belongs to...some...faceless company. I'll find out sooner or later, I promise. All Muses belong to me.  



	3. Prelude to a Muse

Summary: Gamer searches for his own role in Nate's creative team. PG-13 and all that good stuff.  
  
Prelude to a Muse  
By XMAN0123  
  
Sakura was thinking of leaving early that night. There were only a few customers left, and none of them had ordered anything recently. Besides, if she left in the next ten minutes, she might be able to catch Syaoran just before he went to bed.   
  
Then, of course, she heard the familiar sound of the door opening, and sighed heavily. Syaoran would have to wait to see her until class the next morning.  
  
Sakura jumped up from a booth and skated over to the bar, where the customer was just settling onto a stool. "Ohaiyo! What would you like?" She noticed that his hair was peculiar, but then, this was Subreality, and more importantly, the Sake Bar. Sakura actually considered herself lucky when a customer's hair wasn't alive.  
  
"Something that nobody orders, please," a quiet voice replied.  
  
Sakura frowned. She'd heard that voice somewhere before. Then it hit her. "Yugi-kun, is that you?"  
  
The customer slowly turned around and fixed his violet eyes on her. "Oh. It's you, Sakura-chan. I didn't think you'd be here this late."  
  
"Trying to avoid me?" Sakura asked, pretending to be hurt.  
  
The young boy looked alarmed. "No, nothing like that! I just...wanted to think for a while."  
  
"Hai, I understand. So, you want something nobody else orders?"  
  
He nodded. "I'm feeling brave, for once."  
  
"Be right back!" Sakura quickly zoomed behind the bar and began searching for some ingredients. In a few moments, she placed a glass of red liquid in front of him. "There! Try that!"  
  
"Um...what is it?"  
  
"Yugi-kun, don't you trust me?"  
  
"It's not that, Sakura-chan. I'm curious. And please, call me Gamer. Everyone else does."  
  
"Okay. Anyway, it's called...um...Pharaoh's Choice." She grinned. "So try it!"  
  
Gamer picked up the glass, closed his eyes, and took a long sip. He opened his eyes after a few seconds. "It's...strangely familiar."  
  
"But good, right?" she pressed.  
  
"Well, yes..."  
  
"Good! So, what is it you came down here to think about? Maybe I can help."  
  
Gamer sighed. "To be honest, I'm...worried."  
  
"About what?" Sakura asked, hopping up to take a seat on the bar.  
  
"Everything, really. But mainly, I don't think I'm going to fit in."  
  
"Fit in?" Sakura stared at him. "What do you mean? You're in the right place."  
  
"No, not here. I mean with Nate-sama and Yugi and D."  
  
Sakura smiled. "Don't be silly. They're all very fond of you. Nate-sama told me so himself."  
  
"Sure, THEY like me. But none of their fictives do." Gamer took another sip from his glass. "The fictives are only used to dealing with them. They don't want anything to do with me because I don't have a role."  
  
Sakura looked confused. "You're a fictive, aren't you?"  
  
"Well, not exactly. I haven't been Written in eons. I'm only here because Yugi and the others rescued me. The fictives treat me like I'm not even there...like a ghost. I guess I am, in a way."  
  
"That's no problem," Sakura said. "Just ask Nate-sama to Write you into a story. Simple!"  
  
"I don't know if that's a good idea," Gamer muttered. "If I become just another fictive, I'm scared that...Yugi might not like me as much."  
  
"Oh, I get it." Sakura grinned at him. "Do you love her?"  
  
Gamer turned bright red. "W...What?!"  
  
"Okay, too much, too soon. But you really like her, right?"  
  
"Of course," he muttered, lowering his head. "She saved my life."  
  
"I heard she kissed you, too."  
  
Gamer blushed again. "Who told you?"  
  
"Eriol-kun. He stopped by the other day." Sakura patted his shoulder. "But I've got an idea! All you have to do is become a Muse."  
  
"A...Muse?" Gamer said slowly. "Are you serious?"  
  
"Hai! It's a win-win situation. First, you'll be helping Nate-sama, which will make Yugi happy. Plus, you'll be around her a LOT more. And the fictives will have to respect you, since you control whether they get into a story or not. Of course, I expect you to help ME get into a few more stories, since I did give you the idea."  
  
"But...isn't being a Muse...hard?" he asked.  
  
"I think becoming one will be a lot harder than being one for you. I mean, Nate-sama is one of the few Writers that treats his Muses like his own children."  
  
"I know, but...won't I have to go to a school and everything?"  
  
Sakura thought for a moment. "Not necessarily. There is one way you could become a Muse without ever going to the Collegium, but it's very difficult. At least, it will be for you."  
  
"What is it?" Gamer asked, looking nervous.  
  
"You'd have to ask Yugi-san to teach you. I'm sure Nate-sama and D would help, too."  
  
Gamer went pale. "Yugi...would teach me?"  
  
"Hai!" Sakura confirmed, poking at his spiky hair. "She wouldn't say no to you, and she loves getting undivided attention from cute boys with big hair."  
  
"But...I'd have to...ask her..."  
  
"I know. That's what would be hard for you; you're way too shy around her. But ultimately, you have to ask. Nate-sama can't ask for you, and I think Yugi would be a better teacher than D. She's been Nate's Muse a lot longer, and she did graduate from the Collegium. Plus, she thinks you're cute."  
  
"But...how could I ever get the words out?" Gamer asked. "I can't even look at her without stuttering."  
  
Sakura reached over and squeezed his hand. "Just think, Gamer. Once you're a Muse, you'll be much more useful to Nate-sama. Yugi would see you as her equal. I mean, how could she not? You've both got the same name. And if you ever get really scared or nervous, you could always call on the Game King for courage."  
  
"I guess," Gamer said slowly.  
  
"Oh, but he can't ask Yugi. YOU have to do that. It'll mean more to her that way."  
  
"Sakura-chan, you're making this sound very difficult..."  
  
"Sorry," Sakura replied, looking apologetic. "But I couldn't lie to you, and being a Muse is the only way I can think of for you to really fit in. I think you'd make a pretty good one."  
  
"That still doesn't tell me how I'm going to ask Yugi, though."  
  
"Well...maybe she wants you to ask?"  
  
Gamer's head snapped up. "What?"  
  
"Gamer, did you ever think that maybe Yugi likes you just as much as you like her? Maybe more?"  
  
"...I guess...I never looked at it that way..."   
  
"You should, then," Sakura replied. "Does she often find ways to touch you?"  
  
Gamer blushed. "She...hugs and tickles me a lot."  
  
"Does she smile at you for no reason?"  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"Does she find excuses to be alone with you?"  
  
"She kicks D out of her room all the time."  
  
"Does she act really friendly around you?"  
  
"Maybe a little too friendly sometimes..."  
  
"Hmm. There's just one more question, and then I'll be sure," Sakura said.  
  
"What question?"  
  
"Does Yugi still sleep in Nate-sama's room?"  
  
Gamer blinked a few times. "She...used to sleep with Nate-sama?"  
  
"Are you saying she doesn't?" Sakura asked, her eyes widening in shock.  
  
Gamer looked confused. "Well, no. She sleeps in her own room. Why wouldn't she?"  
  
"What about D?"  
  
"She sleeps with Nate-sama, but I thought that was because they were...intimate."  
  
"No way. Nate-sama would never do that with his Muses. But do you realize what this means, Gamer? Yugi's in love with you!"  
  
Gamer stared at her. "You're...kidding, right?"  
  
"No! She loves you! Is that so hard to believe?"  
  
"Well...no, but...why?"  
  
"I don't know WHY, I mean, Yugi's always had unique taste in guys. How many anime fictives can you think of with big hair?"  
  
"Three thousand and six? No, more like six thousand three hundred."  
  
"...okay, bad example," Sakura sighed. "But she loves you. Trust me on that."  
  
"Then what should I do?"  
  
"Ask her to teach you. And if you're really going to have that much trouble, ask Nate-sama for tips on defending yourself in the face of overwhelming cuteness. Here, we can practice right now."  
  
Gamer looked mildly alarmed. "Wait, what are you..." He trailed off as Sakura leaned closer to him and batted her eyelashes.  
  
"Can I have your Exodia cards, Gamer?" Sakura asked, pressing her nose to his.  
  
Gamer stared into her emerald eyes, then madly tore off his jacket and rifled through the pockets in a desperate search for the five aforementioned cards.  
  
Sakura sighed and shook her head. "Well, at least you didn't drool or pass out. But if you can't even resist me, you'll never stand a chance with Yugi. Unless Nate-sama helps you, of course."  
  
Gamer blinked and stopped his search. "So...you really think I can do this?"  
  
"With help, sure! And if you ever need a cheerleader, I'll be here."  
  
Gamer smiled. "Thank you, Sakura-chan."  
  
"You can thank me after you're an all-powerful Muse." Sakura hopped off the counter. "I'd better get back to work before my boss catches me chatting with you. Oh, and you should..." She turned around, only to find that Gamer was gone, though he'd left enough money for his Pharaoh's Choice and a very generous tip, too.   
  
Sakura grinned and pocketed the cash. "Good luck, Gamer," she whispered before zooming off to greet the next customer of the night. She noted, with an audible sigh, that his (its?) hair WAS indeed alive, and that it wanted a tall glass of warm shampoo on the rocks. She decided to be happy that it hadn't ordered Pharaoh's Choice, because they'd just run out of fruit punch and Sprite.  
  
Disclaimer: Yugi II/Gamer belongs to...er...I forgot again. But not me. Sakura & all mentioned CardCaptors belong to CLAMP. 


	4. Risky Cuteness

Note: I guess this could be considered part of the Work Experience challenge. PG-13 for stuff.  
  
Summary: Gamer becomes a Muse-In-Training.  
  
  
Risky Cuteness  
By XMAN0123 (Nate)  
  
  
Nate was busy being lazy. Sort of.   
  
It was one of those rare Saturday afternoons. Hours of non-stop, back-to-back anime shows had filled his head with ideas and inspiration. Whether Yugi had anything to do with it or not was unimportant. Two solid hours of DBZ were coming on in less than an hour, and that was important. If anything, it would only give him more inspiration. But until then, Nate was going to give his fingers and brain a rest. Despite the rumors to the contrary, he considered typing to be a very vigorous sport (and the only one he ever participated in, unless you counted Muse-Raising, which was a thousand times harder and just plain stressful).  
  
At any rate, a light turning on inside Nate's head interrupted his rest.  
  
It wasn't one of those idea bulbs, either. Those would've just been a sign of inspiration or cleverness. No, this was one of those alert bulbs, which either meant a Muse had returned to his immediate vicinity, or that a fictive had come uninvited again. Either way, Nate's naptime was sure to come to an end. He sighed and waited for the disturbance.  
  
Soon enough, there was a timid, "Nate-sama? Are you busy?"  
  
"No, Gamer. Just rediscovering my favorite butt groove in the couch. Something wrong?"  
  
As he'd expected, there was a moment of uncomfortable silence.  
  
"Um...there is...uh...this."  
  
Nate sighed. It seemed he'd have to open his eyes. Slowly, he did so, only to find a nervous Gamer holding out A Note. He hesitantly took It and read It a few times. "Uh huh. So you want to be a Muse. Where's the problem?"  
  
"I...have to ask...ask..."  
  
"Yugi," Nate offered.  
  
"Yes. But I'm...I'm..."  
  
"Nervous? Scared? About to wet yourself?"  
  
Gamer blinked. "The first two."  
  
"Ah. You need some advice on resisting her cuteness, then."  
  
"Yes. Sakura-chan said you could help."  
  
Nate sat up. "I'll be honest with you, Gamer. It is very impossible to totally ignore Yugi's cuteness."  
  
Gamer went pale. "It...is?"  
  
"Yes. But you can try, just like everyone else does, with varying degrees of success."  
  
"Oh. How do you do it?"  
  
Nate shrugged. "Yugi was my first Muse. I had to learn or she'd still be getting the best of me. I can't tell you how I did, I just did. It's like Darwin's theory of evolution. You adapt to survive."  
  
Gamer's eyes widened.  
  
"Oh, it's not THAT serious. You're in no REAL danger." Under his breath, he muttered, "Yet."  
  
"Then what do I do?"  
  
"You, specifically, must learn three basic rules. First, no eye contact. In fact, avoid looking directly at her face at all, if possible. It's like a painting, and every single part of it leads to her eyes. If you don't avoid them, you lose instantly."  
  
Gamer swallowed noisily. "That sounds difficult."  
  
"It is. Next, don't let her touch you. If she's close enough where you can smell her, or if you even THINK you smell her, it's all over."  
  
Gamer looked scared. "Nate-sama, I don't know if-"  
  
"Quiet. Finally, and most importantly, avoid the affectionate talk. That's how she pulls you in. If she starts dropping a 'honey' here and a 'sweetie' there, LOOK OUT. It means she's got your scent."  
  
Gamer began to shudder. "Wait, I don't-"  
  
"Oh, I know you're scared, Gamer. You should be. But the fact is, she's hungry. Hungry for YOU, kid. And if you don't watch out, she'll pounce, beat you senseless, and drag you back to the nest for her young."  
  
Gamer gasped and fainted.  
  
"That's it. No more Discovery Channel for you, mister."  
  
Nate glanced up his second Muse. "Hi, D."  
  
"You heard me. That's the last time you freak out Gamer."  
  
The Writer held up his hands. "I was kidding."  
  
"HE didn't know that."  
  
"How's that my fault?"  
  
D frowned. "Nate, you know how he is around Yugi."  
  
"Yeah. But I had to do something until DBZ came on."  
  
"You are SO wrong."  
  
"Just this once. Yugi always gets to be the evil one. I wanted a turn."  
  
D narrowed her eyes. "And no more hanging out with Eriol and Ruby Moon, either."  
  
"Aw, man..."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Gamer took a deep breath. Then another. Then he knocked.  
  
"Come in!" Yugi called through the door.  
  
Gamer went pale, regained his color, then opened the door and walked into Yugi's room. Despite the fact that Yugi was sitting on the opposite side of the room, the scent of her invaded his nostrils the moment he stepped through the door.  
  
"If she's close enough where you can smell her, or if you even THINK you smell her, it's all over," a voice in his head reminded him. Gamer broke out into a cold sweat.  
  
Yugi finally looked up from her notebook and flashed that beautiful smile that she reserved just for him. She winked and said, "Hey, you."  
  
To Gamer, she might as well have licked her lips and said, "Hey, you delicious little piece of man-meat, I'm about to devour you."  
  
"But the fact is, she's hungry. Hungry for YOU, kid," the voice growled.  
  
Gamer froze and tried to ignore the voice in his head. "Yugi, I...that is...I mean..." He stopped, realizing he was looking into her eyes, and quickly lowered his gaze to the floor. With a trembling hand, he held out The Note.  
  
Curious, Yugi came over and took The Note, totally unaware that her scent was getting stronger. "Oh. So you want to be a Muse, and..." She trailed off, finishing It. "You...want me...to teach you?" she asked in disbelief.  
  
"Yes," Gamer muttered, trying to keep from looking at her. He felt warm, baby-soft fingers gently lifting his chin until Yugi's eyes were locked on his.  
  
"Next, don't let her touch you," the voice chuckled inside his head.  
  
"Gamer...are you asking me to train you to become a Muse?"  
  
Trying to ignore the fact that his knees were gradually turning to mush, Gamer swallowed and said, "Yes."  
  
"Why?" Yugi asked, sounding both curious and amused at once.  
  
"You...saved my life, and I...I trust you."  
  
"Anything else?"  
  
"...yes..." Gamer looked away. "I want to be accepted."  
  
"By who?" she asked.  
  
"You," he said quietly.  
  
Yugi blinked. "Gamer, I DO accept you."  
  
"No. I want you to accept me as your equal. I need a purpose for existing, or I'll just end up back in Shantytown again." Disobeying Nate's First Law, he looked into her eyes. "You...wouldn't let that happen to me...would you, Yugi?"  
  
Yugi stared at him for a moment, then released his chin. "Gamer, I don't know if-"  
  
"Please, Yugi-san?" Gamer sank to his knees and wrapped his arms around her legs.  
  
Yugi blushed. "Get up, Gamer, and drop the -san stuff. You're embarrassing me."  
  
"Not until you say yes," he said, sounding more determined.  
  
"Okay, fine, I'll train you. Just get up."  
  
Gamer stood up and bowed. "Thank you, Yugi."  
  
"Hold it. You have to do something for me."  
  
"What?" Gamer froze. "But..."  
  
"For each hour I spend training you, you have to spend an hour of leisure time with me."  
  
"Leisure time?"  
  
Yugi shrugged. "You could call it a date, if that makes you comfortable."  
  
Gamer's eyes widened.  
  
"I just figured calling it 'make-out' time would be inappropriate, and you..." She paused, realizing that Gamer had fainted. Or maybe he'd slipped in the huge amount of blood that was still streaming from his nose. "Hmm. This will be...different."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"I still say that Madison and Sakura make a great couple."  
  
Nate shrugged. "Say what you want. I'm still not doing it."  
  
"Come on, Nate!" D whined. "They're so cute together!"  
  
"I agree that there is a...certain attraction between them."  
  
"HA!"  
  
"...which is exactly why I'm doing Tomoyo stories, not Madison ones."  
  
"But you LIKE Madison!"  
  
"Correction: I used to like her because I had no other choice. Now that I'm Tomoyo-aware, she is my preference, and SHE will end up with Eriol. Always. End of story."  
  
"I hate you," D muttered.  
  
"On a completely unrelated note, Eriol does not."  
  
"Oh, shut up."  
  
Nate was about to tousle D's already wild hair when a bulb went on in his head. "Oh no..."  
  
"What?" D asked.  
  
Suddenly, a portal opened above them, and a young girl came flying through it.  
  
"SUPER SATURN SAIYAN POWER!" she shrieked before slamming into Nate and knocking him off the couch.  
  
"That," Nate said quietly from the floor. He slowly forced himself to a sitting position.  
  
The girl sat up, her violet eyes quickly scanning the room before landing on Nate. "Nate-SAMA!" She leaped at him and latched onto his chest with an audible *GLOMP!* that knocked him to the floor again.  
  
D stared at them. "And this would be...?"  
  
Nate groaned in pain. "D, meet Sakuya, daughter of Sailor Saturn and Vegeta from a dark future."  
  
"Then why's she so...?"  
  
"Don't ask. It was back when Yugi & I were still getting used to each other." Nate sighed and glanced down. "What is it, Sakuya?"  
  
Sakuya stopped rubbing her cheek against his long enough to reply, "Oh, nothing much! Someone named Gamer is in the hospital for major blood loss!"  
  
Nate and D looked at each other. "Yugi."  
  
"OH! Yugi went with him!" Sakuya added. "He's okay!"  
  
"That's nice. Why is she here again, Nate?"  
  
"I made her my official Messenger fictive a long time ago. But I've never gotten a single message until today, so..."  
  
"You're not very important!" Sakuya said matter-of-factly. "Except to ME, Nate-SAMA!" She giggled and went back to her cheek rubbing.  
  
Nate sighed (as best he could, anyway) again. "D, when you see Yugi, ask her to make Ein from Cowboy Bebop my new Messenger, would you?"  
  
"Sure, Nate. Anything to keep from seeing her again." D gave Sakuya a disgusted look before vanishing.  
  
"So, Sakuya." Nate looked down at her. "How have you been?"  
  
"Fine!"  
  
"And your brother?"  
  
"Trunks is fine!"  
  
"And the spirit of your dead father?"  
  
"Daddy's Ghost is fine!"  
  
Nate groaned quietly. "I see. Well...um...you don't want to worry Trunks, do you?"  
  
"No!"  
  
"So...you should go home, right?"  
  
"Yes!" Sakuya beamed and kissed his cheek. "Bye, Nate-SAMA!" She vanished into another portal.  
  
"I have got to start cleaning up after myself," the Writer muttered, shaking his head.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Gamer slowly opened his eyes, only to stare up into Yugi's. His eyes widened.  
  
"Don't worry. They plugged your nose so you couldn't pass out again."  
  
Gamer blinked, realizing she was right, and took some deep breaths with his mouth.  
  
"So I figure we can start your training tomorrow morning. Assuming you're out of here by then, anyway."  
  
"You mean...I'm ready?" Gamer asked.  
  
"Well, no. You're ready to learn, not to be a Muse. That'll take a while."  
  
"How long?"  
  
Yugi thought for a moment. "Well, how old are you?"  
  
Gamer took a deep breath. "3,964,98-"  
  
"Definitely not that long," Yugi interrupted.  
  
"Okay," Gamer said, still a little confused.  
  
"Some ground rules, too." She tapped the Millennium Puzzle. "Don't touch that thing unless I tell you to."  
  
"Um...okay."  
  
"No more bleeding bad enough to end up here."  
  
Gamer looked nervous. "But I can't help it! And Nate-sama's advice didn't help!"  
  
"Definitely no more calling him that. His name is Nate. Why can't you help it and what advice?"  
  
"Nate gave me some tips for avoiding your cuteness, and-"  
  
"Why would you want to do that?" Yugi asked.  
  
Gamer blushed. "It was only so I could stay conscious long enough to ask you for training."  
  
"Didn't work too well," Yugi pointed out. "Although you did manage to ask."  
  
"But if I'm going to learn anything, I have to be conscious."  
  
"Not really. I could just psi-blast all the info right into your head."  
  
"That...sounds dangerous, Yugi."  
  
"Oh, it is." She smiled. "But I won't do that. It's better if you get the actual experience, anyway."  
  
"Yugi, I...need to ask you something."  
  
"Sure. What is it?"  
  
"Do you..." Gamer paused and swallowed noisily. "...love me?"  
  
Yugi leaned over until her nose was touching his. "What," she asked in a soft, seductive voice, "do YOU think?"  
  
Gamer's eyes widened, and he promptly fainted.  
  
Yugi smiled and leaned back. "I think I'm going to like being a teacher."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Disclaimer: Believe it or not, Sakuya DOES belong to me, although her name was stolen from the cutie on Tenchi in Tokyo. Madison, Sakura, Eriol, and Ruby Moon belong to CLAMP. Everyone else also belongs to me, in a kinda-sorta roundabout way. 


	5. Nate's Cookie Monster

Note: I've become a Reboot fanboy. Be afraid. Daemon's what got me hooked. Be VERY afraid.  
  
Summary: D stumbles upon Nate's secret, Frankenstein-like science project.  
  
  
Nate's Cookie Monster  
By XMAN0123 (Nate)  
  
  
Nate smiled and popped another cookie into his mouth. "Thanks again, Makoto."  
  
"Don't talk with your mouth full; I can SEE that stuff," she scolded. "Now get out of my kitchen."  
  
"Right. Sorry." He waved and walked out the Writer's Café kitchen, dragging his huge bag of freshly-baked sugar cookies with him.  
  
"I really hope he paid for those, doll," Pinocchio said.  
  
"He did," Makoto replied. "Sort of."  
  
Pinocchio looked up at her. "Should I stop him?"  
  
"Don't bother. It's fine."  
  
"Well, if he didn't pay, then I'll ask again: Should I stop him?"  
  
"No. He's going to make up for it later."  
  
"How?"  
  
Makoto smiled. "He's going to send one of his Muses over here to help out."  
  
Pinocchio frowned. "Ugh. The cute one?"  
  
"No, this is a new one. In training, actually, but Yugi might still come."  
  
"And what did he want with all the cookies?"  
  
Makoto shrugged. "That's the weird thing. He said it was for a science project..."  
  
* * * * *  
  
It was a dark and stormy night. Well, not really.  
  
At any rate, D was bored. Yugi had dragged Gamer out for more "leisure time," which left her stranded with Nate. Normally, that wouldn't be a problem.  
  
Except that Nate hadn't come out of the bathroom, and it had been six hours already.  
  
D was no doctor, but even she knew it could only take so long for an average human body to...process...waste. So she was reasonably suspicious. Especially when she spotted a strange blue-green light coming from under the door.  
  
There was a strict "no-blasting" rule in Nate's apartment, so D merely beat the doorknob with her Super Ankh until it fell off. The door swung open, and she discovered a portal in the toilet. It was also the source of the strange light.  
  
Common sense told her this was just plain weird. There was a chance that something had kidnapped Nate, but it was really unlikely. There were very few fictives who would want to bring Yugi's wrath down on their heads by harming her Writer. So it was more likely that Nate had gone into the toilet willingly.  
  
Trying to erase the mental picture, D took a deep breath, squeezed her Super Ankh for luck, and leaped into the toilet.   
  
Thankfully, there was no splash.  
  
As she landed, the strong scent of cookies hit her. Not just any cookies, though. Fresh-baked Makoto Kino sugar cookies, the kind D & Yugi were only allowed to have on holidays, since they were so addictive.  
  
D followed the intoxicating scent until she reached what looked like a cross between and operating room and a typical Writer's workspace. There was an operating table, a desk with a laptop computer, an enormous half-empty bag of sugar cookies, and her Writer himself.  
  
Nate was bent over the table, working carefully on something. Then he sat down and began to type on the laptop.  
  
It was then that she saw...It.  
  
It was a body.  
  
It was a girl.  
  
And if its coloring was any indication, It was a dead body.  
  
D was no stranger to death. Heck, her mother WAS Death. But this was something entirely different. Just when her Writer had turned into Dr. Frankenstein, she wasn't sure, but it was most certainly going to stop now. She walked right up to him and tugged on his leg.  
  
Nate glanced down, flashed her a smile, and went back to work. "Hey, D."  
  
"Hi, Nate. What are you doing?"  
  
"Stuff," Nate replied absently, his face taking on an eerie glow as he peered at the laptop.  
  
D frowned. "Stuff with dead bodies isn't stuff. It's necro-stuff!"  
  
Nate shrugged. "You would know better than me."  
  
"I would NOT! Just because I look like Death doesn't mean I hang out with the dead!"  
  
"Is there a point to this, D?"  
  
"Of COURSE there's a point! You've got a dead body down here!"   
  
"Oh. It's the body that's bothering you?"  
  
"YES!" D screamed.  
  
"Well, don't let it. It's not dead."  
  
"Of course it's dead!"  
  
"No, it isn't. It's never lived before, so how could it be dead?"  
  
D opened her mouth, then paused. "It hasn't?"  
  
"No. But, it will. Soon." Nate grinned evilly and rubbed his hands together. "Very soon, indeed." He threw back his head and laughed. "BWA HA HA HA!"  
  
D shuddered. "That was evil."  
  
"I know. NateEvilLaugh 372. I'm trying to get it patented."  
  
"Riiiight." D stood on tiptoe and peered over the edge of the table. "So...she's not dead?"  
  
"Nope." Nate lifted D up so she could get a better view.  
  
The girl didn't look as dead up close. There was an almost elfin appearance about her. Her skin was a rich, light violet color, while her hair was a shiny blue-green. There also seemed to be some kind of star stuck on the back of her head.  
  
"She looks...celestial?" D guessed.  
  
"That's the general idea, yeah. I just thought she was cute."  
  
D blinked and frowned. "Nate...are you trying to replace me and Yugi?"  
  
"Don't be silly, D. I've got two good Muses already and one in training. There's no need to replace anyone."  
  
"Well, the last time one of your cute belongings was given life, it turned out to be me. So you'll forgive me if I'm a little skeptical."  
  
"That wasn't my choice. This is. And she won't be a Muse. Just a tour guide/archive fictive of sorts. Someone to help out with my Reboot stories."  
  
"As in...inspire?"  
  
"As in organize. A glorified administrative assistant at best."  
  
D stared at her Writer in disbelief. "You're playing god so you can make your own secretary instead of just hiring one? Geez, you're cheap."  
  
"And proud of it. Now step back and hope I remembered my old science tests well enough to pull this off. Otherwise, the bathroom will smell like cookies for a year."  
  
D smirked. "Considering what it usually smells like, I'd say that's a vast improvement."  
  
Nate glared at her. "Three words: Big. Birthday. Burrito."  
  
D blushed and frowned. "Shut up."  
  
Nate made some final adjustments on the laptop, then took a deep breath and hit Enter.  
  
Nothing happened.  
  
And then the smell of cookies suddenly increased tenfold as the girl sat up and shook her head to clear it.  
  
"It's alive!" Nate cackled, throwing back his head. "ALIIIIIVE! BWA HA HA HA!"  
  
D sighed and hid her face in embarrassment.  
  
The girl blinked a few times, then looked at them expectantly.  
  
"I think she's waiting for her orders, Nate."  
  
"Oh, right." Nate picked up what looked like an electronic notepad on a string and hung it around the girl's neck.   
  
"What's that for?" D asked.  
  
"She can't really talk. So she TypeSpeaks."  
  
"Um...what?"  
  
Nate sighed. "Look, I screwed up her voice box, okay? Plus, you know I'm bad with accents. Especially Australian."  
  
"Oh, now she's a MUTE secretary. I swear I'll send her to Mom myself if she's a mime."  
  
"You're jealous, just like Yugi was when I ordered you. I told you, she's NOT a Muse."  
  
D opened her mouth to reply when something warm and soft took hold of her hand. Slowly, she turned to see the girl smiling brightly at her. "Um...Nate...?"  
  
"She's just being friendly." Nate glanced at the notepad. "Oh, and she also thinks you're her mother."  
  
"What?!" D looked at the notepad as well.   
  
"Hi, Mom!" stared back at her.  
  
"Oh, no. No no no no no! Nate, tell her I'm not her Mom!"  
  
"Why? I think it's cute."  
  
"NATE!"  
  
"Okay, okay!" Nate picked up the girl and sat her on the operating table. "Let's see. VoicePass, Activate."  
  
The girl blinked rapidly, then smiled at him. "Hi, Writer Nate!" the screen read.  
  
"Gah. Guess I put in too much detail. Let's see, all I have to do is edit your Muse profiles, and...done!" Nate hit a few keys on the laptop. "Okay. She knows who you are now, but I can't promise she won't still be touchy-feely. She's partially powered by affection."  
  
"What else?" D asked, already afraid.  
  
"Sugar cookie scent," Nate replied. "That's why she smells like cookies."  
  
"Why, so someone will try to eat her?"  
  
"NO. People like cookies, and they act nice when they think there's a chance to get some. So they'll be nice to her, and she'll be well-fed."  
  
"And you don't think Yugi will mind?"  
  
"Of course I do. Why do you think I waited until she left?"  
  
The girl tugged on Nate's arm. "Writer Nate, what is my name?"  
  
"Oh. Good question. What IS her name, Nate?"  
  
"Well, Daemon would be the original, so I think we'll call her..." He suddenly looked at D and broke out into an evil smile. "Heh heh..."  
  
D frowned. "I don't like that laugh or that smile. What are you up to?"  
  
Nate grinned and patted the girl's head. "Your name...is Deemon." Then he threw back his head and laughed. "BWA HA HA HA!"  
  
"You will die slowly for this," D muttered.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Yugi frowned as she and Gamer teleported back into Nate's apartment. Something felt...off.  
  
Gamer blinked and sniffed. "Yugi, do you smell...cookies?"  
  
Yugi sniffed tentatively. "Makato Kino cookies, of the sugar variety. Someone's been holding out on us."  
  
The smell got stronger and stronger as they got closer to D's room.  
  
"Figures. I leave for a few hours and my partner betrays me."  
  
"You're not going to hurt her, are you, Yugi?"  
  
"Not really. I'm just going to raid her burrito stash when she's out. Oh, and I'm going to have a few cookies first while she's asleep."  
  
"But that almost sounds...evil," Gamer said, looking worried.  
  
Yugi glanced back at him and grinned. "Flattery will get you everywhere."  
  
Gamer blinked, then shook his head and followed Yugi into D's room.  
  
They were very surprised to find that D was not in her bed. However, someone else was. She was small, elfin, and very cute. She also smelled very strongly of Makato Kino's sugar cookies.  
  
"Does this mean she ate the cookies?" Gamer asked.  
  
"Well, if she did, her stomach must be a bottomless pit. She would've had to eat at least half of Nate's usual haul to smell this bad...er...good." Yugi wiped a bit of drool from her mouth.  
  
"She doesn't LOOK dangerous, but we should find out where D is."  
  
"I'm right here," D replied from behind them. "Why are you in my room?"  
  
Yugi took in D's face. "Ugh. What happened to you?"  
  
"Too many cookies. They're in the kitchen."  
  
"Who is that?" Gamer asked, pointing to the bed.  
  
"Deemon. She's Nate's newest fictive."  
  
"Really?" Yugi asked.  
  
"Yup. Which reminds me, we've gotta start studying Reboot."  
  
"Well, why's she in your bed?"  
  
D sighed. "She thinks I'm her big sister."  
  
Gamer grinned. "Oh, I get it. Deem-"  
  
"Don't," D snapped.  
  
Gamer fell silent.  
  
"C'mon, Gamer," Yugi said, dragging him away. "I'm sure D's got enough trouble as it is."  
  
"Tell me about it," D muttered. "Nate, I am SO gonna get you for this."  
  
Deemon suddenly rolled over in bed, revealing the Delirium doll she was clutching tightly.  
  
D smiled faintly. "Okay, maybe she's not so bad. Now all I have to do is figure out how to stay around her without getting the munchies..."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Disclaimer: Makato Kino & Pinocchio are part of the Writer's Café Staff, not mine. Yugi, D, and Gamer belong to me, sorta. And Deemon/Daemon/Cookie Monster belongs to Mainframe, I think. NateEvilLaugh 372 DEFINITELY belongs to me. 


	6. Confusion & Cream

Note: I dunno what this is. It could be Muse Introspective. I guess someone else can decide. PG-13 for all the usual reasons.  
  
Summary: Gamer, two Eevees, and a big bowl of strawberries & cream. NOT as kinky as it sounds.  
  
  
Confusion & Cream  
By XMAN0123 (Nate)  
  
  
I am not a Muse.  
  
Yet, anyway.  
  
I have to keep reminding myself of that. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and think, "Oh, I'll go Inspire Nate so Yugi can be proud of me," and then I remember that I'm still in training.  
  
Stupid of me, really.  
  
But this whole learning to be a Muse thing is harder than I thought, and I want it to be over already. I don't hate it, I just wish I was a Muse now.  
  
Yugi would see me as her equal. D might actually let me tag along to The Dreaming. Vegeta would stop calling me Baka Boy (well, he wouldn't say it as much). Cell would stop using me as an armrest. Sakura-chan would give me free drinks whenever I wanted them. Deemon would...well, she'd like me even more.  
  
Everything would change.  
  
Until then, I'm stuck being a useless rookie.  
  
Well, not totally useless. Yugi's found another use for me: Eevee-sitting.  
  
Yes, you heard me right. Although it's not as great as it sounds.  
  
Eevees are actually quite intelligent, and they don't really need much watching. In fact, I'm not even sure why I'm here. I guess it's just to feed them, and I haven't really done a good job of that. All I found in D's fridge was a huge bowl of strawberries and a can of whipped cream. So I took a bunch of strawberries, put them in a slightly smaller bowl, and added some whipped cream.  
  
The Eevees have been staring at it like it's poison.  
  
I guess they weren't raised on Yugi food, but I've gone through the entire house, top to bottom, and there's nothing else to eat. In fact, I'm getting pretty hungry, and if they don't eat it in the next five minutes, I will.  
  
It wasn't supposed to be this boring. Deemon even volunteered to come with me, as she adores anything that's nearly as cute as her. But Yugi said no, and I knew right then that she was testing me, somehow. I don't really know how, but I know next to nothing about Eevees, and even less about Pokémon in general. I suppose I will learn something before I become a Muse, but Yugi hasn't taught me anything about the specific fandoms Nate deals with yet.  
  
Around this time, I notice something...funny...about Leon. The only way I know he belongs to D is the black collar with the tiny ankh on it. He's getting...twitchy. I don't know if Eevees get fleas, but I know they don't twitch. At least, they're not supposed to.  
  
The only thing I can think of is to give him a bath. But if I only wash Leon, I know Yugi'll be mad that I didn't wash Cleo, too. But despite their size, there's still two of them and one of me. Something tells me this just got a lot harder.  
  
Just when I'm thinking of trying the Splitter spell that Yugi once mentioned, the doorbell rings. Yet, that's impossible because a) D's house is invisible, and b) therefore, no one but us knows about it.  
  
I'm only slightly surprised to find Sakura & Eriol at the door. I should've figured that even being invisible couldn't hide a house from the two of them. Well, Eriol, anyway.   
  
Eriol makes up some story about how they were just passing by, but Sakura has a can of Pokémon food with her, so it's not hard to figure out who sent them. I'm just wondering who had less faith in me: Yugi or D? I'm really hoping it's D, but Yugi is the Anime Muse...  
  
Eriol leaves soon after that, but Sakura stays to help me feed the Eevees. They become much friendlier after that, but Leon's still twitchy, and Sakura agrees that they could use a bath. Fortunately, she's brought The Bubble with her, and cleaning up is fairly simple.  
  
Since the bowl of strawberries & cream remains untouched, Sakura throws the whole thing into a blender, and the result is a very delicious mixture that tastes a lot better than strawberries & cream have a right to. When I ask if she used any magic, Sakura only smiles and says there are advantages to working in a bar.  
  
Now maybe it was something in the drink, or maybe it's just that I'm very comfortable around Sakura. Either way, I get very, very talkative. I talk about how hard learning to be a Muse is, how I want Yugi to be proud of me, and how I wish I could get some semblance of respect from other fictives besides her and Deemon.  
  
Sakura only smiles sadly and pats my shoulder. "Have Nate-sama, Yugi-san, or D ever said anything to make you think you couldn't become a Muse?" she asks.  
  
I have to admit that they haven't.  
  
"Then it's going to happen," she says. "And when it does, I'm going to be there to say, 'I told you so' and laugh. But until then, just try your best. I'll always believe in you, and so will Yugi-san. Why would she risk everything by going into Shantytown to save someone that wasn't worth saving? For that matter, why would Nate-sama endanger his most precious Writing resource just to rescue a forgotten fictive? It's because they believe in you and your potential, Gamer-kun, and I think it's time you did the same."  
  
After Sakura leaves, I do some thinking. I think she's right. I think Nate sent Yugi, D, and Eriol into Shantytown for a purpose. He does everything for a purpose. Sometimes he makes mistakes, and sometimes he doesn't, but even when he's angry or depressed, he never looks at Yugi & D with anything but love in his eyes. I want Yugi to look at me that way. But she was his First Muse. How can I become that important to her, even if I do become a Muse?  
  
It's around this time that I realize Leon & Cleo are gone. I search the entire house for them, but no luck. I can't even begin to think how disappointed and angry Yugi & D will be. I actually consider running away so I won't have to face them. But I know it won't do any good. I owe them too much-my very life. If I abandoned them, I'd just end up in Shantytown again...and I never want to be stuck there for a second eternity.  
  
At some point, I guess I doze off, because the next thing I know, it's near midnight and I hear voices downstairs. I recognize Yugi's right away, and D's soon follows. With a sigh, I go down to face them. As I reach the final step, they turn to look at me with pure shock on their faces. Then I remember that Yugi's psychic and that she probably sensed the cause of my anxiety a mile away.  
  
Before I can say anything, Yugi throws herself at me and covers my face with kisses, telling me how wonderful I am. I can't figure out why, though...until D leans down to pet some very strange-looking creatures that I hadn't noticed at my feet before. That's when I notice one of them has a black collar with a tiny ankh on it.  
  
After I wake up for the second time (yes, I did faint...), Yugi explains to me all about Pokémon and how they evolve. Then she tells me that Leon & Cleo evolved into Umbreon & Espeon because I somehow made them very, very happy. I instantly assume Sakura or Eriol did something without me knowing, but of course, I don't have any proof, so I keep my mouth shut.  
  
Also, there is a very satisfied grin on Leon's face, but I can't figure that out, either.  
  
At least, not until D finally finds the egg sitting in her stove. There's also a note on the table from Sakura, which reads, "How's THIS for potential?" I swear if I wasn't so in love with Yugi, I'd marry that girl for her surprises alone.  
  
D offers me the egg, but we all decide that Deemon should have it, once it hatches. We also decide that Eevee-sitting is much too stressful for me and that I should be restricted to Deemon-sitting, which is a lot easier, apparently. At least, D says so.  
  
After all the excitement dies down, Yugi & I say goodnight to D and head back to Nate's Place.  
  
"So be honest, Gamer," Yugi says once we're outside. "What exactly were you planning to do if you couldn't find Leon & Cleo?"  
  
A ton of answers run through my head, but for some reason, only one seems right.  
  
"Blame it on Eriol?"  
  
Yugi stares at me for a long moment, then smiles and kisses my cheek. "You, Mister Muse-In-Training, are going to make a great Muse some day."  
  
"And what would that make you?" I ask. "Mrs. Great Muse?"  
  
"Oh, no," she says with a wink. "I'd still be wonderful little Yugi, and you, my charming young friend, would be Mr. Yugi."  
  
I can't say taking my wife's name would be a sign of manliness, but at least I'll get my name back.   
  
* * * * *  
  
Disclaimer: All Pokémon mentioned belong to Nintendo, Game Freak, Creatures, Inc., and that filthy rich (by now, anyway) Satoshi guy. Now, excuse me while I go get "Mewtwo Returns"... (or at least hope someone else got it for me) 


	7. Happy Birthday, Yugi!

Summary: Just how old IS Yugi, anyway?  
  
Rated PG-13 for stuff.  
  
  
Happy Birthday, Yugi  
By XMAN0123 (Nate)  
  
  
It was not by any means an impressive cake. Compared to the other cakes she would get that day, Yugi would almost have to be disappointed. But the idea of the cake was not to impress, but to fill a seemingly endless appetite. When you added up all the other cakes, it was sure to do just that.  
  
"But isn't it kind of small?" Deemon asked (rather, the vidscreen around her neck did), a puzzled look on her elfin face.  
  
Nate shook his head. "Trust me, this will be more than enough. Cell & Vegeta consider it their personal duty to spoil Yugi rotten every year. And then she'll go to the Writer's Café for another huge cake, and they'll most likely have to drag her back here."  
  
"And she does this every year?"  
  
"Yup. Never fails. So we've got a couple of hours to kill before she even remembers that she has a Writer. Any ideas on what we should do until then?"  
  
"Well...I've always wanted to go to the Solar Heart Café..."  
  
* * * * *  
  
The Subreality Dojo & Sake Bar was totally empty. Well, the Dojo part of it, anyway. The Sake Bar part was almost empty, save for a Muse, four fictives, and a waitress fictive who wasn't really doing much waitressing at the moment.  
  
"Okay, it's my turn!" Sasami gave the bottle a good spin.  
  
Trunks turned bright red when the bottle landed on him. "Um..."  
  
"Don't even think about running," Yugi said.  
  
Trunks stared at her, then made a run for the door.  
  
A green hand shot out and grabbed him by the arm, slamming him back into his seat.  
  
Yugi smiled. "Thanks, Cell."  
  
"No problem, princess." The bio-android gave the small boy a glare for good measure.  
  
"Okay, I'll do it!" Trunks muttered, looking terribly embarrassed. "Man, this is sick. You're like my sister, Sasami!"  
  
"Stop whining and get it over with," Vegeta growled.   
  
"Does anybody remember 'Kid Stuff' here? Anybody?!"  
  
Sasami grabbed Trunks, pulled him across the table, and planted a big kiss on his lips.  
  
Trunks went scarlet and fainted.  
  
"Is he going to do that every time?" Sakura asked. "I'm getting tired of mopping up all the nosebleed puddles..."  
  
"Well, I guess that's enough for now," Yugi said. "Okay, on to the gifts!"  
  
"Me first!" Sasami reached under the table and pulled out a large bowl covered in plastic wrap.  
  
Yugi automatically began to drool.  
  
Sasami cleared her throat dramatically. "Presenting...!"  
  
"Sasami's Special Strawberry Salad Surprise," everyone but Vegeta said, sounding very bored. For some reason, it was the only present Sasami ever gave Yugi.  
  
Vegeta rolled his eyes. "What's so special about salad, anyway?"  
  
"It's not just salad!" Yugi snapped, hugging Sasami tightly. "It's fruit salad...minus the fruit...and HEAVY ON THE STRAWBERRIES!" She began giggling madly.  
  
Vegeta sighed. "Cell?"  
  
"On it." Cell picked a strawberry out of the salad and bounced it off Yugi's head.  
  
Yugi instantly stopped giggling and made a dive for the strawberry before it could hit the floor. Amazingly enough, she caught it with her teeth.  
  
"She's definitely lost it. She didn't even use telekinesis this time."  
  
"Maybe I added too many strawberries...?" Sasami asked.  
  
"That's crazy talk! There's NEVER too many strawberries!" Yugi declared, licking some whipped cream off her lips. "Who's next?"  
  
"I'll go." Cell stuck a hand into his wing and rummaged around for a minute, before pulling what looked like a rolled-up magazine out of it. "Enjoy, kiddo."  
  
Yugi began to drool again, but for an entirely different reason.  
  
"Oh, wow!" Sasami said dreamily. "The Beautiful Boys of Anime Calendar!"  
  
"Let me see!" Sakura shouted, running over to get a look.  
  
"The WHAT?!" Trunks asked as he sat up.  
  
"Oooooh, Heero is in this one!"  
  
"Duo and Quatre, too!"  
  
Vegeta gave Cell a wary look.  
  
"What? Like YOU never gave the kid anything with half-naked men in it?"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Oh. Well...lookit. She's so happy, she's mesmerized."  
  
Vegeta snatched the calendar out of Yugi's hands and stuffed it in his pocket. "I'll keep this until we're done, or we'll never get out of here."  
  
"Gee, thanks, DAD," Yugi teased, a big grin on her face. "What'd you get your beloved little girl, hmm?"  
  
Vegeta started to growl, but let it die in his throat. "This." He held out a small, rectangular box.  
  
"Let's see. Compact, possibly jewelry-sized, potentially expensive..." Yugi tore open the box and gasped. "Vegeta..."  
  
"Ooooh, it's so pretty!" Sakura breathed as Yugi held up the gold locket.  
  
Yugi's eyes began to water as she slipped it over her head. "Vegeta...Dad...I..."  
  
Trunks checked his watch. "Glomp Warning in: 3...2...1..."  
  
Yugi latched onto Vegeta's neck, covering his face with kisses.  
  
"Man, you're good, kid," Cell said.  
  
Trunks shook his head. "Nope. Just got a good watch on my birthday."  
  
"Anyway, the locket's so much better than his presents usually are," Sasami said.  
  
"Hey, wait a sec!" Cell turned to Vegeta. "Anything you've ever given Yugi was a weapon of mass destruction, fit only for wars and boring tea parties. What's up with the girlie locket?"  
  
Vegeta glared at him. "I thought it would be a nice change of pace."  
  
Everyone stared at him in disbelief.  
  
Vegeta snarled. "Fine! It doubles as a light grenade!"  
  
"I KNEW it!" Cell shouted, pointing an accusing finger at him.  
  
"Well, it doesn't matter," Yugi said. "I'm never throwing THIS away." She gave Vegeta a big kiss on the cheek. "Thanks, Dad. Of course, now I'll have to hang onto you for the rest of the night to show my appreciation and undying affection."  
  
Vegeta grunted in somewhat reluctant agreement and almost smiled...but not really.  
  
"My turn!" Sakura smiled nervously and brought out a big box. "Yugi-san, do you remember 'Saturn Scouts' at all?"  
  
Yugi frowned. "Unfortunately."  
  
"Oh, GREAT move, Sakura," Trunks muttered.  
  
"Well, I remembered how you once said you wanted to be a Sailor Scout..."  
  
Vegeta's eyes widened in alarm, then narrowed in anger. "And I distinctly remember forbidding her to be one."  
  
Yugi patted his cheek. "Hush, you. Go on, Sakura."  
  
"And then I remembered how upset you were that the series didn't work out. So I called in a few favors and begged Nate-sama for a whole month, and I got you...this." She set down the box and waited patiently.  
  
Yugi carefully opened the box, and her face lit up. "Cool! A sailor fuku and tiara!" Then she noticed something beneath them. "Hey, what's...WOW!"  
  
"What?!" Cell cried. "You know I can't take suspense!"  
  
"My very own Sealing Wand and my first Card!" Yugi held up a wand with a large crystal shard at the top and The Create.  
  
"Good thing we didn't give her any books," Trunks muttered. "We'd be up to our armpits in strawberries by now."  
  
"Oh, that's not the original Create, Trunks-kun," Sakura pointed out. "It's the one Nate-sama made. That's why I had to beg him for it."  
  
"The one that makes other Cards?" Cell asked. "Okay. So you've got a Scout outfit and CardCaptor tools. I'm getting mixed messages here."  
  
"Since Vegeta-san...er...Vegeta-sama won't let Yugi be a Scout, I thought he might let her be a CardCaptor."  
  
"And what made you think that?" Vegeta asked, glaring at Sakura.   
  
"Well, almost nobody drools over CardCaptors, since we're so young."  
  
"That's weird," Cell muttered. "Nate gives this kid Japanese words, but obviously doesn't fill her in on what goes on in the original anime."  
  
"What do you mean?" Sakura asked, blinking.  
  
Cell started to answer, but everyone (including Vegeta, strangely enough) gave him warning glares. "Forget I said anything."  
  
"Oh. Well...do you like your presents, Yugi-san?"  
  
"Love 'em to death." Yugi gave Sakura a hug. "Thanks, Cherry Cheeks. You're a doll."  
  
"And that leaves V-Man, Jr.," Cell chuckled.  
  
Trunks sighed. "Yugi, I wanted to get you something really special, and I had decided on it, honestly. Then you got interested in that...Gamer guy."  
  
"Jealousy is SUCH an ugly concept," Cell murmured. "Glad I thought of it."  
  
Trunks glared at him. "ANYWAY, you seem to be really happy with him, and he seems like the type that's dumb enough to commit to a girl..."  
  
Cell snickered.  
  
"So, when he decides to pop the question on you, make sure he's using this." Trunks pulled out a small black box.  
  
Even Vegeta was without comment as Yugi opened the box. She stared into it for a long moment, then closed it. "Trunks," she whispered, tears coming to her eyes. "Come here, please."  
  
"K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Sasami and Cell sang as Trunks walked over to her.  
  
"This...is the most thoughtful gift I've ever gotten. Thank you so much." Yugi hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek. Then she smiled and gently kissed the corner of his mouth.  
  
"How come he's not bleeding now?" Sakura whispered.  
  
"Trunks grew immune to Yugi's cuteness back when they were a couple," Cell replied. "And he's probably the only one Vegeta would let get close to her, anyway."  
  
"Then it's a good thing he hasn't met Gamer-kun yet."  
  
"Yeah. The kid must have a good luck streak a mile long."  
  
* * * * *  
  
At the moment, Gamer didn't consider himself lucky at all. For some reason, the Writer's Café was extra busy tonight, and he hadn't even had time to catch his breath between orders. Fortunately, he only had to carry the food. He truly felt sorry for Makato, who had to cook it all. Although if she minded the work, she didn't show it. Gamer, however, was starting to mind the work, and was beginning to wish he'd taken his volunteer hours somewhere else.   
  
Gamer's thoughts were interrupted as a furry, blue finger tapped him on the shoulder. He looked up to see Beast towering over him.  
  
"Excuse me, my young friend, but Makato has some more orders waiting in the kitchen."  
  
"Be there in a sec, Hank," Gamer promised with a nod, and sighed once Beast had left. "How does she DO that? Every time I put a plate down, she's got two more!"  
  
"She's got six more arms hidden in that apron, that's how," Pinocchio muttered as he walked past.  
  
Gamer quickly ran to the kitchen. "You called for me, Kino-san?"  
  
Makato nodded, never taking her eyes from the stove. "Take those five plates out to table six, and the three behind them to table nine, please."  
  
Gamer stared at the mountain of food. "All at once?" he asked at last.  
  
Makato stopped and turned to look at him, a sheepish grin on her face. "Sorry, Gamer. Sometimes I forget you're not Hank."  
  
"It's okay, Kino-san. I can manage." Gamer thought for a moment, carefully fingering the Millennium Puzzle around his neck. "Well, I could use some confidence and some extra strength..."  
  
Makato wasn't sure what happened after that. As many Sailor Scout transformations she'd seen and been through herself, bright lights and strange music were nothing to her. But when she turned to see Gamer disappearing through the door with all the aforementioned food, plus desserts, she smiled. "That boy's going to make a fine Muse one day. And even if he doesn't, I could sure use the help around here."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Let me see if I understand," Krissie said slowly. "You," and here she pointed at the Writer, "want to get in here?"  
  
"That's right."  
  
"And she," Krissie went on, pointing at Deemon, "is proof that you're a ReBoot Writer?"  
  
"That's right."  
  
Krissie stared at them for a long moment and smirked. "Y'know, I've seen a lot of things at this place that you wouldn't believe. But you two, I REALLY don't believe."  
  
Nate sighed. "Somehow, I knew this would happen."  
  
"And yet you were still crazy enough to try it? Amazing."  
  
"Look, what would it take to get us in there?"  
  
"I hear prayer works sometimes, but I wouldn't recommend it in your case. Don't want to get hit by any stray lightning bolts."  
  
"Okay, hold on." Nate pulled a notepad out of his pocket.  
  
"Oh, this should be fun," Krissie muttered as he scribbled something down.  
  
"There! This PROVES I'm a ReBoot Writer!" Nate gave her the notepad.  
  
Krissie looked at the notepad. "Not only does writing 'Frisket ate a null for lunch' make you a horrible person, but it also ensures you will never get in here. Now leave before I'm tempted to try and delete you and your midget."  
  
Nate had never actually seen Krissie kick anyone out of the Solar Heart, but if she was anywhere near as tough as Pinocchio, he had no desire to experience her wrath. "C'mon, Deemon. We've wasted enough time trying to get past her."  
  
"So...we can't go in?" Deemon asked as her Writer led her away by the hand.  
  
"Apparently not. I didn't think they'd be so selective. From what I've seen, there aren't that many ReBoot Writers. I thought they'd be happy to have one more. Maybe it's me."  
  
"You?"  
  
"Well, I'm not exactly welcome everywhere in Subreality. Some places are so confusing that you have to literally be a rocket scientist to have fun. And trust me, if you have to be a genius to have fun, its no wonder I'm depressed half the time." He sighed wistfully. "And I used to come here to get away from my troubles in Reality. Now they're following me here."  
  
"You're not stupid, Writer Nate," Deemon said. "You couldn't have made me if you were."  
  
"I've got news for you, kiddo. It doesn't take a whole lot of imagination to create anything when you're a Writer."  
  
"Maybe not. But it does take a lot to create me. I TypeSpeak instead of talk, I look like a grape-flavored elf, I smell like Makato Kino sugar cookies, and now, apparently, I'm a midget."  
  
"Uh...thanks...but y'know, that last one was an insult. You're not really a midget. You're a virus. A little girl virus."  
  
"Oh. Well, the rest still requires lots of imagination, doesn't it?"  
  
"I suppose." Nate smiled a bit. "Sorry I couldn't make your wish come true."  
  
"It's okay, Writer Nate. If they didn't want us, maybe we didn't belong there, anyway."  
  
"You're a deep little virus, Deemon."  
  
"You made me, whatever I am, Writer Nate."  
  
Nate chuckled. "That's the really weird part. I'm dumb as a moth."  
  
Deemon frowned. "A...moth?"  
  
"Yeah. They keep flying into lights and get fried. Either they're all addicted to dead moth scent, or they've all got the same death wish."  
  
"That's a...different way to look at it."  
  
"Heh. Welcome to my world."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Pinocchio sighed as he spotted the fictives heading towards him. "Well, THIS should be interestin'." He hadn't had to get physical in hours, and he was practically itching for a good fight. The DBZ fictives always got his blood pressure up (at least, he imagined they would, if he'd had any blood to begin with).  
  
Then he recognized the Muse draped across the Saiyan Prince's shoulders. "Oh. It's you guys again. Didn't realize it had been a year already."  
  
"Are you going to make us all wait outside again?" Sakura asked.  
  
"Yup. Ya can send one guy in, and one only."  
  
"Well, I went last time," Cell said.  
  
Sasami rolled her eyes. "You ALWAYS go in. You're the only one strong enough to carry the cake."  
  
Vegeta narrowed his eyes.  
  
"Okay, you're the only one strong enough that's never carrying Yugi or the gifts."  
  
"Yeah," Trunks growled from behind a mountain of gifts. "I always get those."  
  
"Funny how that works out, her always bein' passed out," Pinocchio commented.  
  
"You should've seen her before then," Trunks muttered, earning an elbow from Sasami.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Hey. Spike."  
  
Naturally, Gamer didn't turn around.  
  
"Hey. You with the neon haircut."  
  
Gamer closed his eyes and pretended not to hear.  
  
"Hey. Baka Boy."  
  
Gamer sighed and turned around. "Hello, Cell."  
  
"Time to go. You're needed."  
  
"Needed?"  
  
"That's right. Yugi's outside and she's hopped up on strawberries. Guess who gets to take her home?"  
  
Gamer blinked. "You...and Vegeta, I assume...are actually entrusting Yugi's safety and well-being to me, the same person you wanted dead last week?"  
  
"Got a problem with that, kid?"  
  
"I didn't say that. It's just a little confusing."  
  
"The way we figure, anything happens to Yugi, you're dead. Even if you live to see your wedding night, Trunks'll kill you in a jealous, drunken rage, so you're still dead, anyway."  
  
Gamer blinked again. "Huh."  
  
"Look, kid, you gonna take her home or not?"  
  
"It would be both a pleasure and an honor."  
  
Cell sighed. "Yeah, well, don't let Vegeta hear you say 'pleasure' unless you like seeing your own entrails. And did I mention you'd die?"  
  
"Once or twice, I think."  
  
"Don't be smart, kid. In fact, play dumb. The butt you save may be your own. And I suggest you keep your hands off Yugi's."  
  
"You know, Cell, not all boys are obsessed with butts."  
  
"Oh, I know. The rest are obsessed with breasts, legs, hips, tire irons..."  
  
"Tire...irons?" Gamer said slowly.  
  
"Whoops. Heh. You didn't hear that..."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Perfect!" D slowly backed away from the table, staring at the strawberry ice cream cake with obvious pride. "Yugi's gonna love it."  
  
"Love what?" Nate asked as he popped into existence behind her.  
  
Any answer D might've provided was lost as she was hug-tackled by Deemon.  
D sighed and patted the virus's head. "Nice to see you, too. Where's Gamer?"  
  
Nate tasted a bit of the icing from the cake. "Writer's Café. I sent him there for his community service."  
  
"On Yugi's birthday?" D asked, a frown on her face.  
  
"I also arranged for him to give her a ride home."  
  
"Ah. Ingenious plan."   
  
Nate shrugged. "I do what I can to keep my girls happy. Is everything in place?"  
  
"Yup. All we need now is the Birthday Brat."  
  
"I'm assuming you won't call her that when she gets here?"  
  
"Come off it, Nate. We both know Yugi will be smack-dab in the middle of a strawberry buzz, and too dazed to notice much. I think I could call her Chibi Usa and she wouldn't know the difference."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Yugi slowly opened one eye and groaned. Someone was moving her, and she couldn't remember giving them permission to do so. But then, she couldn't remember much of anything that had gone on in the last hour.  
  
"Awake back there?" a familiar voice asked.  
  
Yugi opened her other eye. "Mmm...Gamey?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Nothin'. Jush makin' sure it'ssshhhou..."  
  
"It is me, and I think you need a stomach pump."  
  
Yugi snorted and waved a hand dismissively. "Do not. Jush need more presentsss..."  
  
"Well, we're almost home now. But do me a favor and stop breathing on my neck, please. I get that enough from Vegeta and Cell."  
  
"Mmm...they mean to you?"  
  
"Not tonight, for some reason."  
  
"Courssse not. S'my birthday and ssstuff."  
  
"I figured."   
  
Yugi groaned again and pressed her face into his neck. "Gamey?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"S'at your hand on my leg?"  
  
"Well...yes. I am carrying you on my back, you know."  
  
"Mmm...'kay." Yugi giggled and began to snore in his ear.  
  
Gamer sighed and shook his head. "The things I do for love..."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Yugi woke up in a sandwich. Not in the literal sense, of course. That would be weird. No, instead she was tangled in the mass of humanity (maybe Musery or fictivity) that was collectively known as Team Nate (though only Nate ever called them that, and rarely, thank goodness). That was more or less expected, although it was a little harder to squirm out of with the additional weight of Gamer and Deemon this year.  
  
After ten minutes (instead of the usual three), Yugi was free to make her way to the kitchen. There, she found three different cakes: one from Nate & Deemon, one from D, and one from Makato Kino. They were all strawberry, of course. No exceptions.  
  
In the living room were her presents: a Super Ankh from Death (Yugi had been begging for at least a month), a bag of crystal shards from Dream (she could never have too many), a red ruby that probably weighed a ton from Deemon (observant little virus, to say the least), a Duel Monsters starter deck from Gamer, a gift certificate to Strawberry Fields Forever from D (Yugi's favorite yogurt stand), and a necklace with a diamond replica of a tiny strawberry from Nate. It looked very expensive, but knowing Nate, he'd probably Written it into existence...which only added more value to it, in Yugi's eyes.  
  
Yugi smiled and fingered the necklace for a moment before slipping it back into its case. She'd show it off at breakfast, she decided. For now, she reminded herself, there was a very warm and loving human sandwich still missing its birthday girl filling.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Disclaimer: Vegeta, Cell, and Trunks belong to Akira Toriyama. Sakura belongs to CLAMP, Sasami belongs to Pioneer, Deemon to Mainframe (sorta). Makato, Beast, and Pinocchio are permanents at the Writer's Café. Krissie is a permanent at the Solar Heart, which will most likely never be seen in any of my fics again, so ReBoot Writers can rest easy. 


	8. Gamer Graduates

Note: Gamer's well on his way to becoming a full-fledged Muse. Unfortunately, I just got through with four exams, and there's NO way he's graduating without taking at least one...  
  
Summary: Ten questions are all that stand between Gamer and Muse status. Too bad they're hard as heck...  
  
Gamer Graduates, Part 1:   
Test Time  
By XMAN0123 (Nate)  
  
  
Gamer took a deep breath, nodded to himself, and looked at the screen in front of him. Yugi had borrowed one Washu's spare airtop computers (well, what ELSE would you call those things she's always got?) just for the test, as she didn't want to be bothered with papers and pencils.  
  
Multiple Choice  
1) Nate's favorite Greek goddess is:  
a. Aphrodite - goddess of love  
b. Diana - goddess of the hunt  
c. Pan - princess of the Saiya-jin  
d. Hera - queen of the gods  
  
Gamer frowned and scratched his head. Of course, C was more a fanfic reference than anything else, but that still left three difficult choices. Nate was by nature a hopeless romantic, so A was a good choice. But Nate was also fond of the name Diana (technically, it was D's name...sort of). From what Gamer could recall, Nate didn't like Hera at all...but maybe that was a ruse as well.  
  
He took a closer look. Aphrodite had probably been listed first to throw him off, so A was out. Diana was a cold and unmerciful goddess, especially when it came to men. There was no real reason for Nate to favor her...unless you considered that Nate hated Wonder Woman, and would therefore prefer almost any other Diana to her. And when Gamer looked at it that way, it made perfect (but twisted) sense.  
  
He checked B.  
  
2) Yugi has been seriously romantically involved with all of the following EXCEPT:  
a. Heero Yuy  
b. Trunks Briefs (Chibi or Mirai)  
c. Duo Maxwell  
d. Jim Hawking  
  
Gamer knew all too well that the first two were wrong. Trunks still popped up every now and then just to threaten him about keeping Yugi happy. He'd never actually met Heero, but from the way Yugi talked about him, they had been more than friends.  
  
The other two were...suspicious. There were a few couples Nate believed unquestionably in, and Duo/Hotaru was one of them. Gamer couldn't see him breaking that up, even for Yugi. Jim, on the other hand, was about Yugi's size, and he had plenty of hair, a must for any of Yugi's boyfriends. But there were only two girls Nate had ever paired Jim with, and Yugi wasn't one of them.  
  
They were both right, he realized, grinning as he checked C and D.  
  
3) Nate's favorite member of The Endless is:  
a. Dream (Morpheus)  
b. Death  
c. Delirium  
d. Dream (Daniel)  
e. Destiny  
  
Another tricky one. Nate was the biggest Death fanboy that Gamer had ever laid eyes on, but he was also very fond of Del...though that was a wise choice for anyone who knew Death personally. And as much as he liked Destiny, Nate hated the thought of his path in life being predestined by anyone.  
  
The only choice Gamer could eliminate right away was D, as Nate wasn't familiar enough with the new Dream to like him all that much...and he'd only liked the old one at certain times, anyway. Most likely, they were both wrong.  
  
It was between Death and Del then...but how to choose?  
  
After a long moment, Gamer decided to check both. One of them HAD to be right, and he could always argue the point later. He had a good feeling that if Nate were forced to choose with Death & Del standing right there, he wouldn't be able to.  
  
4) Nate's current favorite book is:  
a. Lord of the Rings, Book III: Return of the King, by J.R.R. Tolkien   
b. Sandman, Vol. 10: The Wake, by Neil Gaiman   
c. American Gods, by Neil Gaiman  
d. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, by J.K. Rowling  
  
Gamer groaned and banged his head on the desk. He knew very well that Nate liked ALL those books. He also noticed that they were listed in the order Nate had read them. They were all part of a series, too, except for C. Maybe that was something.  
  
It had been a few years since Nate had last reread LOTR, so maybe he didn't like it as much. He'd been amazed at how much he liked American Gods and Harry Potter, so that was something else. The Wake had been fun, too...yet it was the only Sandman volume Nate owned, and he was still mad about that. It was down to C and D, then.  
  
Finally, Gamer checked C.  
  
5) Nate is depressed and hasn't been writing much lately. Do you:  
a. try your best to cheer him up  
b. attach Deemon to his neck and wait  
c. inform Yugi & D immediately  
d. Inspire him anyway and see what happens  
  
Gamer knew right away that A and D were wrong. For some reason, it was very difficult to cheer Nate up if you weren't female. Forcing him to Write wouldn't be much help, either, as he'd just take it out on the fictives, whether he meant to or not.  
  
Gamer checked B and C, being sure to type "THEN" between them.  
  
6) In terms of ReBoot, Nate claims Deemon is his administrative assistant. What is her REAL job?  
a. to smell like cookies and keep everyone smiling  
b. to hug people whether they like it or not  
c. to be cute and adorable no matter what the situation  
d. to take care of the Eevees when everyone else is too busy  
  
After about five minutes, Gamer typed in "e. all of the above."  
  
7) Nate's five favorite foxes are:  
a. Sailor Venus  
b. Renamon  
c. Vulpix  
d. Aisha Clan-Clan  
e. Merle  
f. Abra  
g. Kadabra  
h. Alakazam  
i. Ninetails  
j. Cubimon  
  
Gamer wished he had a pencil so he could stab himself and die of lead poisoning.  
  
If Yugi had meant foxes in the literal sense, then the choices were limited to B, C, F, G, H, I, and J. Of course, if she meant it figuratively, then ALL the choices were possible.  
  
Well, figuratively or literally, Gamer knew that Renamon was Nate's second favorite Digimon, right after Guilmon. He also knew that Nate had named his Ninetails after her...but while she'd been a Vulpix.  
  
Merle and Aisha were catgirls, not foxes...but that could mean anything, as Nate liked them both.  
  
Nate had always liked Psychic Pokemon: Abra for its compact size and speed, and Alakazam for its power. But Kadabra was the form that learned the most useful attacks the fastest.  
  
Sailor Venus had been Nate's favorite Scout until he experienced the mysterious Saturn, but even then, he still thought Venus was the most attractive (with Michiru at an extremely close second).  
  
Gamer finally circled A, B, C, G, and I.  
  
8) Which classes did Yugi NOT take at the Collegium?  
a. Advanced Female Dominance   
b. Universal Sciences  
c. Dimensions of Death II  
d. Destructive Desires   
e. Kemetian Sciences  
f. Egyptian Studies  
g. Lethal Innocence  
h. Eternity & Immortality  
i. Psychic Conditioning  
j. Telekinetic Studies  
  
All the choices sounded like good ones, so Gamer tested the ones he knew for sure first.  
  
He knew that Washu had been Yugi's Universal Sciences professor, but something about that was bugging him. Nate was fairly interested in ancient Egypt, so Yugi would have to learn about it sooner or later. And the others...well, they seemed to fit Yugi's personality and powers perfectly.  
  
Gamer read the question again...and realized something important.  
  
The Collegium, to his knowledge, was not an institute of evil and darkness (even if Calliope was running it). He couldn't imagine why it would have classes like Destructive Desires or Lethal Innocence...unless, of course, it didn't.  
  
It was certainly possible that Yugi had gone to more than one school. One where Washu would actually be qualified and encouraged to teach. One like the Chaos Academy.  
  
Gamer smiled and checked C, D, and G. It would take more than that to keep him from being a Muse.  
  
9) Nate's most prized possession is his:  
a. anime fictives  
b. laptop  
c. Muses  
d. Game Boy Color  
e. open mind  
f. hopeful heart  
  
This was truly a toughie. Nate was a very difficult Writer to understand. It was clear that he valued his anime fictives, but they probably weren't the most important things. Certainly his laptop was important, or else he'd have no way to Write...or maybe Type, as it were. Posting would've been out, too.   
  
Gamer suspected C was wrong. Yugi & D weren't possessions, they were people...although D was technically a doll and Yugi DID kinda sorta belong to Pioneer...  
  
Gamer also knew that Nate absolutely LOVED his Game Boy Color.  
  
The mind and heart were good choices, but they didn't seem like the right ones.  
  
Finally, he checked D.  
  
10) The following are Nate's Most Flamed Fics. Identify the main characters, the reasons they were flamed, and what Nate did in response to the flames.  
a. The Contest & Savior of/from the Seas (Chrono Cross)  
b. Eternal Entrapment & Darien's Choice (Sailor Moon)  
c. Clow Child & Li's Quest & Clow Card Central (Cardcaptors)  
  
Gamer smiled. At last, something truly easy. Nate always went on for hours about how stupid people were each time he got flamed (which thankfully, wasn't very often). There was no way he could miss these.  
  
a. Serge, Kid, Harle, Razzly, Pip, Lynx, Dark Serge, Marie (OC). Many readers complained that the fic didn't follow the game. Nate explained several times that his fic wouldn't follow the game, that he'd only played it for 10 minutes, that he didn't give a flying fig about element colors, and that anyone who continued to pester him would be ignored.  
b. Darien, Hotaru, Haruka, Michiru, Setsuna, Serena, Rini. Readers objected to Darien's hatred of Serena, his choosing Setsuna over her, and the idea that Darien and the other senshi were, in a way, "Serena's puppets." Nate replied that he didn't know why people expected a happy ending when he clearly labeled the fic as Angst and warned off Dariena/Serena worshippers (though they still came in droves).  
c. Sakura, Li, Madison, Power, Akira (OC). While readers enjoyed the individual personalities of the Cards (namely Shot), many didn't agree with Power's feelings for Sakura, or the fact that the fic didn't focus on Sakura & Li's relationship in later chapters.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Nate was heading into the kitchen for his usual midnight snack when he found Yugi. She was staring at one of Washu's airtops and looking very disappointed. "Something wrong?"  
  
"Yeah. Only like all of these answers."  
  
Nate looked over her shoulder. "That's Gamer's test?"  
  
Yugi nodded and sighed. "It's like he didn't listen to anything I taught him."  
  
Nate leaned closer. "I think I see the problem."  
  
"Really? What?"  
  
"Well, according to your answer key, I would've gotten a worse score than he did."  
  
"What?! That's impossible!"  
  
"No, it isn't. I'm so indefinite that nothing stays a favorite for long with me. You know that."  
  
"Then...what are you saying?"  
  
Nate smiled and patted her head. "I'm saying you should've ran that test by me before you gave it to him. But the one about Deemon was cute."  
  
"Yeah. And he got it right, too."  
  
"And based on his answers, do you think Gamer generally understands what it would take to be a good addition to our team?"  
  
"Well, yeah. He already IS an addition, really. This would've just made it official."  
  
"Then why not ask him some questions he'd really need to know to be my third Muse?"  
  
"But...what if he doesn't pass, Nate?"  
  
"I don't think either of us really believes that will happen, Yugi."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Gamer Graduates, Part 2:   
The Final Test  
  
  
Gamer walked into the Subreality Sake Bar and sank into the nearest booth.  
  
It wasn't long before Sakura skated up. "How'd the test go?" she asked anxiously.  
  
"I failed," Gamer muttered, shaking his head.  
  
"Oh." Sakura's face fell. "Well, you did your best, right? That's all anyone can ask."  
  
"It's not fair! I was so close, and now...now I'm...nothing. Less than nothing."  
  
Sakura rubbed his back. "Gamer, it'll be okay."  
  
"No, it won't, Sakura-chan! This test was everything to me! How can I ever face Yugi again?"  
  
"Gamer, listen to yourself. I know how badly you wanted to be a Muse, but do you really think Yugi will stop caring about you just because of one test?"  
  
"Probably," said a voice behind her. "If she even cared at all to begin with."  
  
Gamer's eyes narrowed. "I'm really not in the mood, Vegeta."  
  
"Tough." Vegeta shoved Sakura aside and sat down. "So, you failed. Can't say I'm surprised."  
  
"You leave him alone, Vegeta!" Sakura cried.  
  
Vegeta gave her one of his lower level glares. "Make me."  
  
Sakura opened her mouth, then shut it.  
  
"It's all right, Sakura-chan. He'll never respect me now, so there's no point in trying to defend me."  
  
Sakura frowned, but quickly skated away after a moment.  
  
"Humor me. What did you hope to accomplish by becoming a Muse, anyway?"  
  
Gamer shrugged. "Respect, power, love. The usual."  
  
"I think you're forgetting money."  
  
"Muses don't get paid. At least, not in money. Even if they did, I wouldn't have cared."  
  
"Then why did you care so much?"  
  
Gamer sighed. "I wanted the fictives to respect me. I wanted the power to give them fics...you know, a place to belong. I didn't want anyone else to end up in Shantytown. And love...well...Yugi put so much time into training me, and I let her down."  
  
Vegeta snorted. "As if you had a chance with her."  
  
Gamer's eyes narrowed. "What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"My son captured her heart long before you did. And before him, there was the Gundam pilot. What made you think she could ever love you?"  
  
"She did. She rescued me because she cared about me."  
  
"She took pity on you. Nothing more."  
  
Gamer shook his head. "And who made you the authority on everything? No, wait, let me guess. You, right?"  
  
Vegeta glared at him. "I may not be a Muse, but I have respect and plenty of power."  
  
"What about love?"  
  
"Love is for weaklings like you...but then, you don't even have that, do you?"  
  
"Yes, I do. Yugi loves me."  
  
Vegeta smirked. "Really? Then why are you here alone?"  
  
"I needed time to think."  
  
"You needed time to brood. You're pathetic, boy."  
  
"And I suppose you're not for picking on me right now?"  
  
Vegeta laughed. "It's not my fault you're weak."  
  
Gamer closed his eyes.  
  
Vegeta leaned closer, expecting him to break down and cry at any moment.  
  
What he did not expect, however, was for Gamer to raise his head, look him in the eyes, and whisper, "I'll show you how weak I am."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Sorry, doll," Pinocchio said, scratching his head. "Your guy pal ain't been here tonight."  
  
"He...hasn't?" Yugi frowned. "That's strange. I guess I'll check the Sake Bar, then."  
  
"Might want to hurry." The wooden Bouncer nodded toward the aforementioned Bar. "Don't think it's supposed to be smokin' like that."  
  
Yugi spun around, her eyes widening as she spotted the black mushroom cloud rising up into the night sky.   
  
"Guessin' he didn't pass that test o' yours, huh?"  
  
"No, but...Gamer would never...I mean, Sakura works there. He wouldn't..."  
  
"No. But Vegeta would," said a voice behind her. "I've been in enough DBZ/SM crossovers to know a Saiya-jin smoke cloud when I see one."  
  
Yugi glanced up, only slightly surprised to see Sailor Jupiter beside her. "Um...shouldn't you be cooking?"  
  
"Slow night," Jupiter answered. "Besides, Hank is no slob in the kitchen...as long as he doesn't start shedding, anyway." She nodded. "Now, let's go. I've got a feeling Gamer's going to need our help."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Why aren't you dead?!" Vegeta growled. "You're nothing!"  
  
Gamer slowly stood up, wiping some blood from his lip. "Even if I knew, you think I'd be stupid enough to tell you?"  
  
"Yes." Vegeta raised his hand again and fired.  
  
The power slammed into Gamer, ripping his jacket to shreds and taking some of his hair with it. And yet, for some strange reason, he felt...nothing. No pain, no discomfort. Just...nothing.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Nate was lying on the couch with D curled up on his chest when he heard a bark. He did not, to his knowledge, own a dog or any other creature capable of barking, so he opened his eyes.  
  
Deemon wandered into the room, carrying a Welsh Corgi with a note in his mouth.  
  
Nate took the note away. "Thanks, Ein." He read it, frowned, and poked D.  
  
"Mmm. What?" D asked, still showing signs of grogginess.   
  
"Get up. Gamer's in a fight."  
  
"Oh. With who?"  
  
"Vegeta."  
  
D's eyes snapped open. "What?!"  
  
* * * * *  
  
Sakura was wide-eyed. Not that she had much of a choice. No one had ever survived a direct Gallic Gun. Well, no one except Goku, but that was very, very different.  
  
"What happened?!"  
  
Sakura turned to see Yugi and Sailor Jupiter running up. "I'm so sorry, Yugi-san! I tried to stop them, but Vegeta-"  
  
"Yeah, I figured," Yugi said. "Where's Gamer?"  
  
"Well...somewhere in the crater, I think..."  
  
"Which? Never mind, is he okay?"  
  
"Yes, but that's the thing. He shouldn't be!"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Vegeta's been blasting him, but Gamer's acting like he doesn't even feel them!"  
  
"That's...weird," Yugi admitted.  
  
"Very," Nate agreed as he appeared with D & Deemon.  
  
Suddenly, there was a blinding, golden light.  
  
"Oh no," Sakura whispered, tears in her eyes. "Vegeta's gone Super Saiya-jin! We have to do something!"  
  
"No," Nate said quietly. "Gamer knows what he's doing. I think."  
  
"He better know," Yugi whispered. "Because if he dies, I'll kill him myself."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Part of Gamer's training had been to study up on the Saiya-jin race. He knew all about them, especially Vegeta. So he knew that there was very little chance he would survive a Final Flash.  
  
And yet, he wasn't scared in the least. Something was keeping him calm and collected.  
  
He reached down, fingering the Millennium Puzzle. It was the source of his power, and maybe it was protecting him. Maybe it would do more, if he asked it to.  
  
"Any last words, boy?" Vegeta growled, gathering the needed power.  
  
"Yeah." Gamer glanced down at the Millennium Puzzle. "Bye, Yugi."  
  
There was a sound not entirely like BUZZAP!  
  
Vegeta blinked in disbelief as...something...happened to Gamer.  
  
To put it simply, he turned into someone very un-Gamer like.  
  
Gamer did not radiate with a swirling, rainbow-colored aura.  
  
Gamer did not have empty, narrowed white eyes.  
  
Gamer was not blacker than the darkest night.  
  
Yet, this new being did and was. And he smelled purely of one thing.  
  
Power. Angry, ancient power, begging to be unleashed.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Jupiter was considering the matter carefully.   
  
For all intents and purposes, Gamer was a fictive training to become a Muse. As the Game King, he would have some powers, but nothing to rival Vegeta's might. So being totally invincible was out of the question.  
  
That is, assuming Gamer was still a fictive.  
  
Jupiter blinked and smiled. "He graduated."  
  
"What?" Sakura asked. "What do you mean, Jupiter-san?"  
  
"He's a Muse."  
  
Everyone turned to look at her.  
  
"Um...how?" Yugi asked.  
  
"Sakura, did Gamer say anything before Vegeta attacked him?"  
  
"Yes. He said he wanted the fictives to respect him, and the power to give them fics so they'd have a place to belong."  
  
"That sounds awfully familiar," D murmured.  
  
"It should," Nate replied, pulling a plaque out of his jacket. "It's the Muse of Nate Oath. Sort of."  
  
Yugi grabbed the plaque. "Yeah, right here! 'I swear to treat all fictives with the proper respect they deserve, and expect that respect to be returned. I swear to provide decent fanfics to all deserving fictives, so that they will all have a place to belong.' Huh. Weird."  
  
"That seems like a huge coincidence," Sakura pointed out.  
  
"The boy's done his homework," Nate said.  
  
"Okay, so he's a Muse," D agreed. "But he shouldn't be invincible!"  
  
"He isn't," Jupiter replied. "But he can't be harmed by a mere fictive."  
  
"Um...Vegeta isn't a mere anything," Sakura commented.  
  
Nate shook his head. "It doesn't matter. It's another part of the Oath. Yugi?"  
  
"Right. 'As Nate's Muse, I swear to share and give power to any other Muse Nate may acquire during my period of service to him.' Wait, so he's leeching off us?"  
  
"I doubt it, Yugi. He's probably just using his bonus package."  
  
"Bonus?" D asked. "I don't recall getting a bonus."  
  
Nate rolled his eyes. "You're Death's kid. You ARE a bonus. Everyone else is entitled to special Muse powers."  
  
Yugi narrowed her eyes. "I didn't get anything."  
  
"Yugi, you can destroy planets. You didn't NEED anything else. Gamer did, so I Wrote up some stuff for him. Of course, he wasn't supposed to get it until he graduated, but I guess he has now."  
  
"What KIND of stuff?" D asked, her eyes widening as a huge pyramid suddenly dropped out of the sky.  
  
"Oh. Basic Shadow King stuff."  
  
Yugi stared up at her Writer. "As in bad guy from early X-Men Shadow King?"  
  
"No, as in souped-up, evil version of Game King and more."   
  
"Really. And how does Gamer activate all this...stuff?"  
  
Nate grinned. "Well, let's say you have a key to unlock an unstoppable, secret power. What would YOU call it?"  
  
Everyone looked at Yugi.  
  
"What?!"  
  
* * * * *  
  
Gamer woke up in a very comfortable bed that wasn't his. Cautiously, he opened one eye.  
  
"You're a very lucky kid, you know that?"  
  
He opened both eyes. "Kino-san?"  
  
"I guess I should be the first to congratulate you on becoming a Muse, but I wasn't sure if you'd remember."  
  
Gamer blinked. "I'm...a Muse?"  
  
"Yes. And be glad you are, because you could've been a nasty stain on the sidewalk by now."  
  
"Um...okay."  
  
"I'm sure Yugi & D will fill you in later. Right now, just get some rest. You're going to need it."  
  
"Where is everyone?"  
  
"Yugi & D stayed to help Nate repair the Sake Bar, but Sakura & Deemon are downstairs. I'd better get back to my kitchen."  
  
Gamer caught her hand as she started to move away. "Kino-san...thank you. For everything."  
  
She smiled and squeezed his hand. "Thank me by making me more proud of you than I already am. If you can, anyway."  
  
Gamer considered that for a moment, then went downstairs.  
  
As promised, Sakura & Deemon were sitting on the couch. Until they saw him, anyway. Then there was a great rush to hug, kiss, and generally make him turn red until he wrestled himself free.  
  
"You had us so worried, Gamer! Don't ever do that again!" Sakura shouted.  
  
"I'd miss you if you got dead," Deemon added, looking very concerned.  
  
Gamer shook his head. "I won't have to do it again. I'm a Muse now, remember?"   
  
"Yes," Sakura agreed, giving him another hug. "And didn't I say you could do it all this time?"  
  
"You did. Thank you for believing in me, Sakura-chan."  
  
"Thank me by getting me in a fic. It shouldn't be that hard to convince Nate-sama. The series IS named after me."  
  
"I think I can manage that..."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"I'd say we're done here," Yugi said, brushing off her overalls.  
  
"Yeah, it looks better than before," D agreed. "What do you think, Nate?"  
  
"I think...I should do a crossover."  
  
Yugi & D looked at him. "Huh?"  
  
Nate nodded, confirming it. "Yeah. With Sakura and Hotaru."  
  
"First day on the job, and he's already Inspiring," Yugi murmured, a smile on her face.   
  
"Looks like you did a good job for once," D chuckled, patting her shoulder.  
  
"Please. I always do my best work when there's a cute boy involved."  
  
"C'mon, girls," Nate said, taking them each by the hand. "Let's go home."  
  
Disclaimer: It's Christmas Eve and I'm pooped. If you can't figure out who belongs to me and who doesn't by now, I figure telling you won't do much good. Plus, I'm feeling lazy to boot. So there. 


	9. Gamer's XOXO X-Mas Eve

Note: I wanted to do a Christmas Eve fic, and this is it. Happy Holidays to anyone who hasn't heard it yet, and Merry Christmas (Eve!) to those who have.  
  
Summary: Gamer masters the fine art of holiday tonsil hockey with four, count 'em, FOUR girls! And not on purpose, either...  
  
Rated mushy for excessive hugging, kissing, and mistletoe-related trickery.  
  
Gamer's XOXO X-Mas Eve  
By XMAN0123 (Nate)  
  
  
"Does it really have to be a star?" Sakura asked, drawing back her fluffy, pink hood.  
  
Gamer nodded, brushing some snow from his dark blue coat. "Yugi said it should be. Angels make Nate edgy."  
  
Sakura smirked. "Why? Has he been naughty?"  
  
Gamer shook his head. "He had a nightmare about an angel ornament coming to life and turning into Yue."  
  
Sakura frowned. "What's wrong with Yue-san?"  
  
"Nothing. But the first thing it said was, 'Try to defeat me.' I think that's what scared him."  
  
"Oh. I guess he was creepy the first few times."  
  
"Well, how should we do this?" Gamer asked. "There's a lot of ground-er, store-to cover."  
  
Sakura pointed to the left. "I'll go this way, and you take the other side."  
  
"What about Deemon?"  
  
"Oh. I almost forgot she was here!" Sakura leaned down and gently pulled Deemon's violet hood away from her head. "Sweetie, would you rather go with me or Gamer?"  
  
Deemon looked puzzled for a moment, then smiled and grabbed both of their hands.  
  
Gamer groaned. "That's not going to work. We need to split up."  
  
"I could make another me to follow you around," Sakura suggested.  
  
"No, I have a better idea. Just walk away. She'll make up her mind soon enough."  
  
Gamer hid in the Toys aisle, while Sakura took Candy.  
  
A moment later, Deemon ran into Toys and latched onto Gamer's hand.  
  
"I guess I should take that as a compliment. Or did you just want to see the toys?"  
  
Deemon shrugged in a "little-of-both" sort of way and grinned up at him.  
  
Gamer chuckled and squeezed her hand. "C'mon, let's go find that star."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Sakura could still hear Nate's words from earlier that night as she went into Decorations.  
  
"Remember, Sakura-chan," he'd said as he helped her into her coat. "We have to make this Christmas extra special for Gamer and Deemon."  
  
"Why is that, Nate-sama?" she asked.  
  
"Because this will be their first Christmas, and they don't know any of the traditions."  
  
"ANY of them?!"  
  
"Well, many." He leaned down and tapped her nose. "And I want you to make sure Gamer learns the most important tradition of all."  
  
Sakura smiled fondly at the thought as she spotted a row of shiny, sparkling stars.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Gamer was still in the Toy aisle, though it wasn't really his fault. Deemon had never been in a store before, so she had never seen a Toy aisle. She wasn't used to seeing so many fun things at once. And she wanted to see ALL of them.  
  
He noticed, though, that she kept going back to small teddy bear with a T-shirt that read, "Hug Me! I'm Cute!" Every now and then, she would reach out to stroke the bear's fuzzy head, or smooth out his shirt.  
  
It suddenly occurred to him that she couldn't really ask him for it. Normally, he could just read her screen, but her coat hid it tonight.  
  
"Like him?" he asked quietly.  
  
Deemon jumped, clearly startled, and nodded.  
  
"Want him?"  
  
Her eyes widened, and she instantly drew her hand back, quickly shaking her head.  
  
"You can have him if you want." He took the bear off the shelf and held it out to her. "Here."  
  
She stared uncertainly at the bear, then at him.  
  
Gamer smiled and nodded. "It's okay. He's yours." He pressed the bear into her arms.  
  
Deemon hugged the bear tightly, then threw her arms around Gamer's waist.  
  
"You're welcome." He patted her head fondly. "See anything else you want?"  
  
That turned out to be a big mistake, he realized as Deemon dragged him back down the aisle.   
  
* * * * *  
  
An hour later, Sakura had gotten everything on her list. All she had to do was find Gamer & Deemon, and they could go home.  
  
She knew there had been trouble when she spotted Deemon. The little girl virus was now wearing a brand-new Santa cap and clutching a teddy bear in her arms. Behind her was Gamer, and behind him (or more accurately, on his back) was...The Sack. It was all Sakura could think to call it. It was huge, red, and obviously stuffed with whatever Deemon had tricked Gamer into buying and carrying for her.  
  
"Um...I thought we were sticking to the list?" Sakura asked as they walked up.  
  
"YOU try saying no to that face," Gamer panted, looking as if he might faint.  
  
Deemon beamed up at Sakura, as if silently daring her.  
  
"No thanks. I got the star."  
  
"Good. Because I got every stuffed animal ever invented."  
  
"Well, she's a little girl. What did you expect her to want?"  
  
"Honestly? Internet access. And maybe her own webpage."  
  
"Very funny," Sakura said. She glanced at The Sack again. "Do you...need some help...?"  
  
"No," Gamer sighed, staring enviously at Sakura's two normal-sized shopping bags. "I've got it. No need to break your back, too."  
  
Sakura patted his shoulder, nearly knocking him over. "We're so lucky to be out with a real gentleman, aren't we, Deemon?"  
  
Deemon nodded vigorously and patted Gamer's leg.  
  
"Should I be worried that I couldn't feel that?"  
  
"Of course not. You can worry when that thing starts to absorb you."  
  
"Well, I can't really see where I'm going all bent over like this," he pointed out.  
  
"No problem. Just followed my boots."  
  
"Gee, thanks."  
  
"You're welcome," Sakura replied, stepping out of the store.  
  
Deemon followed, and the lower half of her body promptly vanished.  
  
"Hmm. I guess it didn't stop snowing after we got here. Gamer, do you think we should-"  
  
Gamer had vanished. The Sack, appropriately enough, had not.  
  
Sakura pulled a Card from her coat. "Float, lift that sack!"  
  
The Sack took flight, revealing a snow-covered Gamer underneath.  
  
"Okay. Maybe we shouldn't walk home..."  
  
Gamer glared at her. "You think?!"  
  
"Don't worry," Sakura said as she plucked Deemon out of the snow. "I have an idea."  
  
And so ten minutes and a promise of a mountain of sweets later, Sakura was steering the only Keroberos-pulled sack in history. Granted, The Float helped out a lot, and the rest of them had to fly on Sakura's wand, but they made it back to her house in record time.  
  
"You realize," Gamer said once they'd landed on Sakura's front porch, "that we won't be able to move this thing without you, right?"  
  
Sakura grinned. "Oh, don't worry about that. I'll lend you Power, and you can just bring her down to the Sake Bar when you get a chance. She likes helping my friends." She summoned Power, who easily picked up The Sack. "You'd better get going. Nate-sama and the others will be waiting."  
  
"In a minute," Gamer said, pulling a plain-looking package from behind his back.  
  
"What's that?" Sakura asked, peering at it.  
  
"Er...your present," he muttered, blushing slightly. "I didn't get a chance to wrap it..."  
  
"You got me a present?"  
  
"Well, yeah. What's wrong with that?"  
  
"Nothing!" Sakura said quickly. "But what did I do to deserve a present?"  
  
"What DIDN'T you do? You're the one who gave me the idea of becoming a Muse, and you've stuck by me ever since, just like you promised. Besides...you're my best friend, Sakura-chan."  
  
Sakura wiped away the start of a tear. "Gamer..."  
  
Gamer coughed loudly, trying to preserve a little of his manhood. "Yeah. So. Open it?"  
  
Deemon watched the whole mushy display, then decided to go start a snowball fight with Power.  
  
Sakura carefully opened the package and smiled. "A pink bunny hood?"  
  
"Yes. I noticed you're usually wearing pink, and you're almost always bouncy and-"  
  
"Bouncy," Sakura repeated, a big smile on her face.  
  
"Yeah, because you..." Gamer froze in horror. "Oh. Oh no. NO. I didn't mean...!"  
  
Sakura nodded, still smiling. "Sure."  
  
"NO! I meant like perky! You know, energetic and playful!"  
  
"Playful?"  
  
"GAH! NO! I mean...I mean...I DON'T KNOW WHAT I MEAN!" Gamer hid his face in his hands.  
  
Sakura pulled on the hood. "It matches my coat perfectly. Thank you."  
  
Gamer peeked through his hands. "Huh? You mean...you like it?"  
  
"Of course. I already had a white one, but it wasn't from you. Now I have two."  
  
"That's...great?"  
  
"It is, silly boy. I have a present for you, too."  
  
"You...do?"  
  
"Yes." Sakura pulled a tiny box out of her pocket. "I thought of you the instant I saw it."  
  
"Oh. Wow. It's..." Gamer opened the box. "What is it?"  
  
Sakura picked up the tiny green plant and held it up. "Mistletoe."  
  
"Um...okay. Am I missing something?"  
  
"Yes. Another tradition."  
  
"Which?"  
  
"The one where if you catch someone under the mistletoe," and here she grabbed his arm, possibly using a fraction of Power's strength, "you have to kiss them into submission."  
  
Gamer's eyes widened. "But I don't-"  
  
"Have even the slightest chance of escaping? No, you don't." Sakura wrapped her arms around his neck.  
  
Gamer's first thought was to run and to do it quickly. But anything resembling thought was erased from his head as Sakura's warm, soft lips gently pressed against his. Although something convinced his arms it might be a good idea to wrap themselves around her waist.  
  
Sakura broke the kiss a few endless seconds later, smiling at him. "Merry Christmas, Gamer. Did you enjoy your first present?"  
  
Gamer opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by a cry of rage from the house, followed by the sounds of a struggle.  
  
"Um...what was THAT?"  
  
"Oh. Just Syaoran. Or onii-chan." Sakura looked thoughtful. "Or both of them..."  
  
"Maybe I should leave now?"  
  
Sakura smiled sweetly. "Maybe. But you'll have to let go of me first."  
  
"Uh...working on that. Really."  
  
"I can't really blame you." Sakura rested her chin on his shoulder. "This is really nice."  
  
"Sakura-chan...please. You're not making this any easier..."  
  
"Syaoran's been stingy with his hugs. A girl needs to feel loved."  
  
"NEVER say that word around me again."  
  
Sakura giggled. "But he IS my boyfriend, Gamer."  
  
"Not Syaoran! Loved!"  
  
"Oh, come on. Just tell me how you feel this once and I'll never make you say it again."  
  
"No."  
  
"You want me to kiss you again, don't you? Then you'll NEVER leave."  
  
"Fine! I...I...love you, Sakura-chan. There, I said it."  
  
"And I can tell it came straight from the heart, too." She drew his head down and kissed his cheek before whispering in his ear, "Call me."  
  
There was another shout from the house, followed by a muted explosion.  
  
Sakura stepped back. "That was definitely Yue-san. I'd better go check on my boys. And as for you..."  
  
"What?" Gamer asked warily.  
  
"You'd better be right back here for Valentine's Day. I'll have an even better present then." And with that final promise of impending doom, Sakura closed the door behind her.  
  
Gamer groaned and turned around...only to have a snowball slam into his face.  
  
Deemon appeared on Power's shoulders. Her coat was open, revealing her screen. "Bouncy? I can't believe you said that to her! You NEVER say that to a girl!"  
  
"Not now," Gamer growled, buttoning her up so he wouldn't have to deal with her 'mouth' on the way home. "Let's just go." He lifted Deemon off Power's shoulders and placed her on his back.  
  
Power grabbed The Sack and jogged after them.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Gamer stopped walking when Deemon suddenly tugged on his hair. "What is it?"  
  
Deemon hopped off his back and pulled a tiny box out of her pocket. She placed it in his hand, smiling shyly.  
  
Gamer was obviously touched. "Deemon...you didn't have to get me anything."  
  
She shook her head and indicated he should open it.  
  
Perhaps it was just a trick of the mind, but Gamer thought the box looked a lot like the one Sakura had given him. In fact, as he opened it, he realized it was the EXACT same box...with the same present inside.  
  
But by then, Power had already pinned his arms behind his back.  
  
And before he could open his mouth to scream for mercy, Deemon was on him, clumsily pressing her lips to his in what had to be the sweetest, most innocent kiss he'd ever gotten. And it didn't hurt that she tasted like cotton candy, either. But at that point, he was just glad that Power hadn't kissed him.  
  
Maybe it was the blood rushing to his head, or a side effect of the kiss, or Power had squeezed too hard. Whatever it was, Gamer fell backwards into the snow and stayed there.   
  
"You know, I don't think that's the best way to get the Christmas experience," someone said a few minutes later.  
  
Gamer blinked. "D, is that you?"  
  
"Yeah." The familiar face came into view, complete with a crimson Santa cap. "Um...why are you lying out here?"   
  
"I'm not sure."  
  
"Well, Deemon told me I could find you here. You coming in?"  
  
"Not without help."  
  
D pulled him up by his arms. "What happened?"  
  
"To be blunt, I got smacked, but not the way you'd think."  
  
"Okay." D helped him to the front door. "Can I ask you something?"  
  
"What?"   
  
"How does it feel to be a Muse?"  
  
"Great. Why do you ask? You're one."  
  
"I just thought it might be different for you. Since you're a boy."  
  
"What's THAT supposed to mean?"  
  
"Well, you are. You're a polite, helpful, cute boy."  
  
An alarm went off in Gamer's head. "Uh...D, I hope you're not-"  
  
"Gonna pull the mistletoe thing on you? No, that stuff's for romantic types like Nate & Yugi."  
  
Gamer sighed in relief...then gasped as D pulled him closer. "But...!"  
  
"I've never kissed anyone under anything. And as you can see, we're not under anything."  
  
Gamer had always found D's black lips to be...attractive, in an unsettling sort of way. They tasted of licorice...a sharp contrast to Sakura's cherries, but certainly still very enjoyable. Maybe a little too enjoyable.  
  
Fortunately, D pulled away before he could really start to feel guilty and grinned. "Always wanted to do that just once. Too bad Yugi couldn't see it."  
  
"Yeah. Too...bad."  
  
"Hey, don't go falling in love with me or anything. It was just a holiday kiss between two cute Muses, nothing more."  
  
"Right," he agreed, trying not to sound too shaken up. "Can we go in now?"  
  
* * * * *  
  
Nate lifted Deemon up into the air. "Okay, go for it."  
  
Deemon reached out and carefully placed Sakura's star on the top of the tree.  
  
"Good job. Gamer, would you do the honors?"  
  
Gamer formed a ball of swirling colors in his hand, and then blew it at tree. The tree exploded into bright, dancing colors, looking more impressive than any normal tree had a right to.  
  
"Oooooh. It's so pretty," Deemon's screen reported.  
  
"It sure is," Nate agreed, kissing her hair. "Merry Christmas, gang."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Gamer resembled a caged animal more than a Muse at the moment. His eyes darted wildly from side to side, looking for an escape route. There was none.  
  
The room was covered in mistletoe.  
  
Well, there was really only one. But the crystal shards had been placed precisely so that everywhere you looked, there was a reflection of the mistletoe. A scary sight indeed  
  
"Gamey," Yugi called from the bed in a singsong voice. "Be a good boy and come get your present."  
  
"Don't wanna," he muttered, looking afraid. "Happy right where I am."  
  
"Oh, fine. If you're going to be difficult." She made a motion with her hand.  
  
Gamer felt a slight tug, and then he was thrown onto the bed by an unseen force.  
  
Yugi slid into his lap and raised his head...then frowned. "I detect candy."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Unauthorized smooching. Fess up."  
  
"But-"  
  
"FESS."  
  
"Fine. There were three-"  
  
"Sakura, Deemon, and D."  
  
"How did you...?"  
  
Yugi rolled her eyes. "I know my scents. Anyway, the evidence is all over you."  
  
Gamer looked at the mirror across the room, only to find his lips were solid black.  
  
"D was never the subtle type, and she loves to mark her victims."  
  
"Well, actually, it was kind of ni-"  
  
She gave him a glare, which suggested that continuing the sentence would be potentially lethal.  
  
"Forget I said anything."  
  
"I will." Yugi smiled and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Merry Christmas, Gamer."  
  
"That's it?" he asked in surprise.  
  
"Of course not," Yugi replied, wetting her lips. "Now I have to make you forget all those other kisses..."  
  
Gamer tried to pull away, but it was hopeless. He could do nothing.   
  
Nothing but taste strawberries. Entire fields of them.  
  
Strawberry fields forever and ever.  
  
Disclaimer: Sakura, Keroberos, Yue, & Syaoran belong to CLAMP. 


	10. D-seased (The Horror, The Horror!)

Note: With all the attention Gamer has been getting lately, I decided to mess with D a little. Sorry, D. This makes little or NO sense towards the end, and if you collect "action figures" of the female variety, don't go any further than this line. You've been warned.  
  
Summary: D looks like Death when she's healthy, but what about when she's sick?  
  
  
D-seased (The Horror, The Horror!)  
By XMAN0123 (Nate)  
  
  
Nate was awakened by a scream. At that point, his brain was still in Half-Asleep mode, and therefore unable to determine just who had screamed. But as another scream pierced the silence, it became obvious that he'd have to do some further research.  
  
Rubbing most of the sleep from his eyes, the Writer wandered out into the hallway, nearly tripping over Deemon. They were quickly joined by Yugi & Gamer, and after a head count, Nate knew exactly who was missing.  
  
The terrified scream a second later only confirmed his suspicions...sort of.  
  
In all the time they had been together, D had never really screamed. There had just been no need for it. When you were Death's little girl, there was very little that could truly frighten you to that degree.  
  
There had been one time, back when the Subreality Muse Fighting Federation had just started up, when Nate had accidentally walked in on D while she was practicing her Wail of Ten Thousand Souls. It had taken him a whole month to regain his hearing, and as soon as he did, he restricted her Wail to Ten Souls for safety reasons. Even that was still horrible, but you could recover from it a lot faster.  
  
But this was no wail. It was more like a screech, really, one of unspeakable terror.  
  
It was Yugi who finally got tired of it and kicked open the bathroom door. The sight that met their eyes was not a pretty one. Well, actually, it WAS...and therein laid the problem.  
  
The person kneeling on the edge of the sink certainly looked like D at first. The black boots and matching miniskirt, white blouse, and pale skin were all there. But the rest...  
  
Nate was thrown into Fully-Awake mode by the sight, and even then, he didn't believe it. "Somebody pinch me," he whispered in shock.  
  
Yugi, Gamer, and Deemon instantly leaped upon him, pinching everything they could reach.  
  
"Okay, okay! That's eno-OW! YUGI!"  
  
"What?!"  
  
Nate sighed and looked again. Nothing had changed. "D...um...what...?"  
  
D didn't answer. Well, not exactly. She screamed again.  
  
Nate clamped a hand over her mouth. "Less screaming and more explanations, please."  
  
D nodded, and Nate removed his hand. "It was a....nightmare," D murmured, still staring at herself in the mirror. "It was a n-nightmare, and I c-came in here t-to get some w-water, and th-then....I SAW IT!" She buried her face in her hands, sobbing loudly.  
  
Nate rubbed her back. "You don't know what happened?"  
  
D shook her head. "Why is this happening to me, Nate? WHY?!"  
  
"I don't know, sweetheart," the Writer admitted, scooping her up in his arms. "But we'll figure something out." He turned to the others. "Gang, get dressed. We're going to The Dreaming."  
  
Yugi, Gamer, and Deemon all watched as Nate carried the weeping D out of the bathroom.  
  
"Have you ever seen anything like it?" Gamer asked.  
  
Yugi shook her head. "Nope. But then, D's never been sick. Not like this. Mostly we just got tummy aches from overeating, but this...this is unheard of."  
  
"Will big sister be okay, Muse Yugi?" Deemon asked, looking worried.  
  
"I don't know. I've never seen her lose it like that. But then, I've never seen her LOOK like that, either."  
  
"I don't understand," Gamer said as they left the bathroom. "What's wrong with blond hair?"  
  
"Well, nothing...unless you're D, anyway. It just looked so...wrong on her. I know how upset I'd be if I woke up with a head of bushy, black hair."  
  
"So...she's turning into you?" Gamer asked.  
  
Yugi paused. "I hope not. She can't handle high-level cuteness like I can. She might explode...or worse."  
  
Deemon had a horrified look on her face.  
  
Gamer elbowed Yugi and patted Deemon's head reassuringly. "I'm sure D will be just fine. You'll see."  
  
* * * * *  
  
It took an entire hour to convince D to leave Nate's Place, and even then she would only leave while her head was concealed inside a huge sombrero. Yugi was dying to tell her how silly she looked, but Gamer was literally keeping her mouth shut. Deemon stayed by D's side, squeezing her hand every few seconds and trying to hide her worry behind a constant smile. Nate was just hoping the situation couldn't get any worse.  
  
He was, of course, wrong.  
  
The moment they stepped into The Dreaming, D let out another bloodcurdling wail.  
  
Yugi was about to slap her for scaring them all, then got a good look at D's face. "Whoa. Nate, you better take a look at this."  
  
Fearing the worst, Nate bent down and gently lifted D's lowered head. He blinked a few times, then brushed her tears away. "We'll fix this, D. I promise."  
  
D nodded slightly, but didn't appear to be comforted very much.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Dream's first reaction to D's new appearance was not helpful.   
  
He didn't even recognize her, until he noticed the ankh she still wore. But he could hardly be blamed for that. D hardly looked like she normally did.  
  
And even if the flowing blonde hair hadn't thrown him off, the color of her face certainly would've. D's skin color was now a lot closer to Gamer's, but just a hint darker.  
  
Unfortunately, Dream was just as puzzled as Nate was. The very best he could provide was comfort, and even that was limited, as D didn't want anyone touching the parts of her that had changed.  
  
"It's unlike anything I've ever seen," Dream whispered to Nate. "I don't know what to think."  
  
"That makes two of us," Nate sighed. "So what can we do?"  
  
"Not much. I've already called my sister, and until she gets her, I can't imagine what might help."  
  
"Well, she said she had a nightmare before she woke up. Maybe a nice dream would calm her down?"  
  
Dream nodded. "Perhaps. Though I doubt this problem can be solved so easily."  
  
* * * * *  
  
D woke up from a very pleasant dream to find a Delirium doll dancing on her stomach. Well, she could see the pale hands moving it, but that hardly spoiled the dancing like she thought it would've.  
  
She was lying in her bed with the blanket pulled up to her chin. It wasn't really cold, and physically, she didn't feel cold. It was quite warm actually, and somehow, that made her feel cold deep inside. A confusing sensation, to say the least.   
  
D closed her eyes, but knew she wouldn't be able to go back to the dream for a while now. "Mom?" she whispered.  
  
"Yes, sweetie?"  
  
"Am I...dying?"  
  
"No, dear."   
  
The Delirium doll stopped dancing and flopped lifelessly across her stomach.  
  
"Then am I sick?'  
  
There was a long pause.  
  
"We think so..."  
  
"Think?" D asked, opening her eyes. "You...think?"  
  
"We're not sure what's happening to you...or even why it is."  
  
"Then...you can't fix me?"  
  
Death shook her head sadly. "No, dear. I don't know how to help you."  
  
It took a great amount of self-control to hold back the tears, but D managed it quite nicely. "So...I'm just gonna keep...changing into this...this...thing?"  
  
"You are not a thing." Death brushed D's pink cheek with her fingers. "You're my little girl."  
  
D shrank away from her touch. "Don't!" She instantly regretted it when she saw the hurt look on her mother's face.  
  
"I know you're afraid and confused," Death whispered, cupping D's face in her hands. "I know it must seem hopeless right now. But no matter how much you change on the outside, it's what you have inside that really counts. I should know; I made you." She leaned down and gently kissed D's forehead. "You have to realize that no one will stop loving you just because you look different. Nate will still consider you his Muse, Deemon will still look up to you, Gamer will still respect you, and Yugi...well...Yugi is..."  
  
"Yugi?" D suggested after a moment.  
  
"Yes," Death agreed, smiling slightly. "Yugi is and always will be Yugi. And you are her best friend, believe it or not. She may not show it, but she's worried about you, too."   
  
"But I don't want to change," D muttered. "I want to stay the way I was."  
  
"And I bet you feel terrible right now, don't you?"  
  
D nodded, wondering where her mother might be going with that approach.  
  
"Well, which of us has it worse? You, because you're going through an unknown change that you know absolutely nothing about?"  
  
"Then how could you have it bad?" D asked.  
  
Death smiled sadly and ran her fingers through D's hair. "With a wave of my hand, I could crush a million empires. But even with all that power, I can do nothing but watch my precious baby suffer."  
  
"Aw, Mom, don't," D whispered, choking back a sob.  
  
"Sorry. But I hate being powerless. Especially now." Death sighed and curled up beside her on the bed. "I'll stay with you for as long as you need me."  
  
"But...your duties?"  
  
Death shrugged a bit and wrapped her arms around D. "People die too much these days, anyway. A big number of them are babies who never knew a mother's love."  
  
"You're just making that up so I won't complain about the constant hugging, right?"  
  
"Partially. It's kinda true, and I said it so you wouldn't complain about the kissing. You're getting hugs whether you like it or not. I AM your mother."  
  
* * * * *   
  
"Uh...Nate?"  
  
The Writer looked up to see Gamer & Deemon in the doorway. "Yeah?"  
  
Gamer glanced around the room, taking in the small sheets of paper scattered everywhere. "What are you doing?"  
  
Nate scribbled something down, then balled it up and tossed it over his shoulder. "Trying to think up a cure."  
  
"Any luck?"  
  
"Nope. Where's Yugi?"  
  
"I'm not really sure," Gamer admitted. "I just know she wouldn't let us come."  
  
"Well, maybe she'll have better luck. Now grab a pen and help me."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Any luck yet?" Yugi asked.   
  
Washu frowned. "Some. I can figure out what D will look like if we don't stop the changes. Here's a hologram of the final stage of...well, whatever she's got."  
  
Yugi's eyes widened. "That's....horrible, Washu!"  
  
"I know. We have to do something, and fast."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"I'm going to work on a cure. The best thing you can do for now is try to keep her spirits up. Also, try to remember what happened the last time you got sick."  
  
"Oh, that's easy. D healed me with her ankh."  
  
"Really? That's a start."  
  
"But we already tried that, and Nate even tried Writing her well."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
Yugi shrugged. "Nothing."  
  
"I see. Take her a cabbit and make sure she doesn't get depressed. It could only worsen her condition."  
  
"Right. But...even if she gets to the final stage...you could still fix her, right?"  
  
Washu sighed. "Let's not take that chance, Yugi."  
  
* * * * *  
  
D continued to stroke the Umbreon lying on her chest. "Leon, it's been fun being your trainer, but it looks like I won't be alive much longer. I know Deemon will take great care of you, and Gamer will help, too."  
  
Leon grunted and nuzzled her neck.  
  
"Don't try to cheer me up, either. It won't work."  
  
Leon playfully licked the tip of her chin.  
  
D giggled, then pushed his head away. "Bad Leon!" she scolded. "Bad!"  
  
"Telling someone you love them isn't bad," Death said from across the room. "Well, not usually."  
  
There was a quiet knock on the door. "D, you accepting visitors?"  
  
"What'd you bring me?!" D shouted.  
  
Death glared at her.  
  
"What?! I'm sick here!"  
  
"Can I come in or not?" Yugi asked.  
  
"Depends. Is your gift dangerous?"  
  
"...not really."  
  
"Will it hurt me?"  
  
"Only if you hurt it first."  
  
"Okay, bring it in."  
  
Yugi slowly walked in, keeping her hands behind her back. "Hi."  
  
"Less talk, more gift."  
  
Yugi smiled slightly and walked over to the bed. "Close your eyes."  
  
"Why?" D asked.  
  
"It's a surprise! Duh!"  
  
"Don't forget my mother's sitting right over there," D reminded her.  
  
"Yeah, I saw. Close 'em or no gift."  
  
D closed her eyes and held out her hands. Something warm, soft, and furry tumbled into her palms.   
  
"Okay, you can look now."  
  
Slightly expecting to see a rat, D slowly opened her eyes and came face to face with the cutest cabbit she'd ever seen.  
  
"Washu's always giving them away; she's got so many," Yugi explained. "So as long as you promise to be good to her, you can keep her."  
  
"She's beautiful, Yugi," D cooed, rubbing the cabbit against her cheek. "I'd hug you if I wasn't afraid of infecting you."  
  
Yugi shrugged. "Washu figures since I'm already blond, I don't have anything to worry about. So I guess it's safe."  
  
"But what if you get dark hair?"  
  
"Oh. Well, that's what hair dye is for."  
  
"But what if you get pale...liked I used to be?"  
  
Yugi rolled her eyes. "Then I'll go parading around as you and totally ruin your reputation. What do you THINK I'm gonna do?"  
  
D smiled. "So that's a yes on the hug?"  
  
"Yeah. But don't go getting used to it or anything. This is a one-time deal, and only cuz you're sick."  
  
D carefully slid her arms around Yugi's neck. "Thanks, Yugi. And if I don't make it, I just wanna say you're the best partner a Muse like me could have."  
  
"You mean cuz you're sloppy and incompetent and I'm not?"  
  
"Something like that, yeah. And make sure Nate doesn't forget me. In fact, hang my ankh over his bed."  
  
"I think you're taking this a little too far, D."  
  
"And make him proclaim my final day as 'D Day: The Sequel'. It'll grow on you guys."  
  
Yugi sighed and pulled away from D's embrace. "Okay, that's it! D, you're not dying. You're just changing."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"I talked to Washu, that's how."  
  
"So...what am I changing into?" D asked slowly.  
  
Yugi blinked. "Uh...I think I hear my Writer calling me..."  
  
"Yugi, tell me!"  
  
"No. You'll freak out."  
  
"Yugi, please! I need to know!"  
  
"Nope. You'll freak, I'm telling you."  
  
"Don't make me beat it out of you with my Super Ankh. And since I'm sick, I'll just say the disease was eating away at my brain cells and get off easy."  
  
Yugi sighed. "Okay. It's too horrible to put into words, so I'll just show you." She slowly reached into her pocket, took a deep breath, and pulled out the monstrosity.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"So when can we go see her?" Deemon asked.  
  
"I guess when Death says she's feeling better," Nate replied.  
  
"But we're not getting anywhere with the cure," Gamer pointed out. "And we still don't know what Yugi's doing on her end."  
  
Nate opened his mouth to say something.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"  
  
Nate closed his mouth. "I didn't do that."  
  
"It came from upstairs," Gamer muttered, looking scared.  
  
"It was big sister," Deemon added, looking equally worried.  
  
"You two stay here," Nate said. "Somehow, I think Yugi might be involved."  
  
Nate didn't know what to expect as he went upstairs and opened the door to D's bedroom. The sight that met his eyes was very unexpected, though.  
  
Death was talking softly to a child-sized lump of blankets (assumedly D) that refused to leave the bed. Yugi was beating what appeared to be blue flames out of the ends of her hair. In the middle of the floor, there was a charred, smoking mass of what seemed to be the remains of an action figure.  
  
Nate assessed the situation, then went over to help Yugi. "What happened?" he asked.  
  
"D wanted to know what she was turning into. I told her she couldn't handle it, but she insisted. So, I showed her."  
  
"And?"  
  
Yugi frowned. "She couldn't handle it."  
  
Nate took another look at the charred mass. "So what's that?"  
  
"What she's turning into. At least, it was, before she detonated it."  
  
Nate bent over the mess and poked it with his finger. He found a scrap of pink clothing that wasn't completely burned. Frowning, he picked it up to read the tiny writing on the singed tag. "Sugar Plum Princess...?"  
  
Yugi looked up as his eyes widened. "Nate, wait! Don't-"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"  
  
"-read it." Yugi sighed. "Oh, well."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Cell sniffled dramatically. "And so, there was nothing left to do but the obvious."  
  
"What?" Trunks asked after a long moment of silence.  
  
"They took D out to the back of the house and shot her deader than Old Yeller."  
  
Another long moment of silence, followed by the *thump* of Sakura fainting onto the floor.  
  
"You call that a scary story?!" Trunks smirked. "It's not even true!"  
  
"It is so!" Cell insisted. "I was there!"  
  
"So what was D turning into?"  
  
Cell gave him an exasperated look. "Isn't it obvious?"  
  
"NO!" the other fictives shouted, looking angry.  
  
"Sugar Plum Princess! Think of the commercials! C'mon, you gotta know!"  
  
"Know WHAT?!" Gohan cried.  
  
"Good Lord," Mirai Trunks suddenly whispered, his eyes widening in sheer terror.  
  
"What, Trunks?" Goten asked.  
  
"SHE WAS TURNING INTO SUGAR PLUM PRINCESS BARBIE!!!"  
  
Complete silence.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"  
  
The room broke out into pure pandemonium and was cleared in less than ten seconds.  
  
"That was SO wrong," Yugi muttered, suddenly appearing on Cell's head.  
  
"Well, it WAS true," Cell replied. "And it WAS scary."  
  
"But you promised you wouldn't tell! D's gonna be pissed."  
  
"That's assuming that you or one of the others tell her. I imagine they'll all be too afraid to get anywhere near her now."  
  
"Y'know, we DID fix her, Cell."  
  
"I don't know," Cell said quietly. "Did you? I mean, did you really?"  
  
Yugi frowned. "What do you mean?"  
  
"Sure, you fixed D. But nobody can stop Barbie. She's the one constant in human society."  
  
"You're exaggerating."  
  
"Am I? If there was ever an unstoppable force, it's her. She's queen of reinvention. She makes Madonna look like an amateur!"  
  
"So what? She'll die out sooner or later."   
  
Cell smirked. "You can think that. That's why she's got Courtney waiting to succeed her."  
  
"You're crazy, Cell."  
  
"Even if Courtney doesn't make it, there's always little sisters Kelly and Skipper."  
  
Yugi's smile faded, and she actually looked afraid.  
  
"Next there'll be a baby Robin, born with paralyzed arms. They'll use her to draw in the handicapped. And then...worst of all..."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"They'll reveal the horror of Grandma Ethel and her unshaved legs!"  
  
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Yugi ran screaming from the room.  
  
Cell grinned. "Heh. Still got it."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Disclaimer: This was not written to insult Barbie, Madonna, the handicapped, or the elderly. Although it is rather strange and quite disturbing to see Barbie go from caring big sister to secret spy to Tomb Raider rip-off and not hear anyone complain about it. Akira Toriyama disowned the Cell that frequently appears in my stories, and now I'm stuck with him. The second title is actually stolen from Josef Conrad's "Heart of Darkness" (definitely not my favorite book), and is something I recalled upon completing this story. Personally, I think it fits... 


	11. My Psycho Valentine (Be Mine or Die)

Note: I always get depressed around Valentine's Day, so…heh.  
  
Summary: Someone's picking off Nate's fictives, and it's up to Gamer to stop the killer.  
  
  
  
My Psycho Valentine (Be Mine…or Die)  
  
By Nate (XMAN0123)  
  
  
  
"Ka…me…"  
  
He cupped his hands and gathered the power.  
  
"…ha…me…"  
  
A bright blue ball of energy formed in his hands.  
  
"…HAAAAAA!"  
  
He forced his hands forward, firing the beam with only a margin of his true strength.  
  
There was an explosion, and then silence.  
  
"CELL!"  
  
Cell grinned at the new hole in the wall. "Whoops."  
  
On the other side of the hole (one of several, now), Sakura's green eyes narrowed. "Stop doing that! You almost hit Tsunami-sama!"  
  
Cell grunted. "Well, if she was any kind of goddess, it wouldn't hurt, anyway…"  
  
"That's not the point! Just STOP!"  
  
"Hey, it wasn't my idea to build the Dojo onto the Sake Bar. I just figure it's high time somebody actually used this part of it."  
  
"Well, could you at least cut back on the energy attacks, please?! Some of us are trying to earn a living!"  
  
"Oh, fine. If you're gonna WHINE about it." Cell sighed and shook his head. "Kids these days. No respect for their killer bio-cyborgs at all. What's the world coming to?"  
  
It was then that he noticed the small figure lurking in the shadows.  
  
"Oh, it's you again. What are you doing here, kid? This is no place for cream puffs…although you might get creamed, if you don't watch it. Vegeta will be here in a bit, and he's not as charming as I am."  
  
The figure raised its right hand, pointing a water pistol at him.  
  
"Oh, funny. Unless you're packing acid, think again, dollface."  
  
But the smirk on Cell's face soon turned to shock as jam like substance landed on his chest. With a strangled cry, he fell to his knees, then collapsed across the floor.  
  
The small figure instantly faded from sight, just as Vegeta arrived.  
  
"Are you ready to die, Cell? This time, I'm going to-" He frowned upon spotting Cell's body. "That won't work this time, coward! Get up and fight!" Vegeta kicked Cell a few times, then began to get worried.  
  
"Cell? Cell?!"  
  
He checked for a pulse, but found nothing.  
  
"No! NO! You can't be dead! You were MINE to kill! MINE, YOU STUPID--!"  
  
Anything else Vegeta might've shouted was lost as something wet and slimy landed on his back. His eyes rolled up into his head, and he fell, never to rise again.  
  
The small figure grinned maniacally and skipped out of the Dojo, looking for its next victims.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"You're not gonna do ANYTHING for Valentine's?!" Yugi asked for the third time.  
  
Nate closed his eyes in annoyance. "Yes. I'm going to brood, thank you very much."  
  
"Have you totally forgotten about your two adorable Muses? Especially ME?!"  
  
"That's why you have Gamer and D has a handful of everlasting aunts and uncles."  
  
"So no chocolates? No candies? No roses?"  
  
"Not really. Just me and a big glass of ice water."  
  
Yugi blinked. "Ice water?"  
  
"Brooding is thirsty work."  
  
"No, it isn't."  
  
"MY brooding is. Now go away. It's difficult to prepare for heavy brooding when you're sitting there looking all pitiful and pleading."  
  
"Then go get me some candy."  
  
"No."  
  
Yugi pouted.  
  
Nate opened one eye. "Stop that."  
  
"But Naaaaaate!"  
  
"I said no, Yugi. Go away, please."  
  
"You'd get candy for D!"  
  
"No, I wouldn't. She's gone to get some bags of ice for our brooding."  
  
Yugi narrowed her eyes. "Our?"  
  
"Yes. She's always been an excellent brooding partner. You wouldn't know that, seeing as how YOU always have a date today."  
  
"Why do I suspect that you two do more than brooding?"  
  
"Because you're a jealous, scheming Muse, and you expect all others to behave that way, too."  
  
"You trying to say they don't?"  
  
"I'm trying to say I want you to leave so I can get ready to brood." Nate slipped on a black jacket and pulled the hood over his head.  
  
"Uh…"  
  
"Brooding gear."  
  
"Oh. Um…what?"  
  
"You wouldn't understand. Now go find Gamer and be happy."  
  
"Don't YOU want to be happy?"  
  
"No," Nate replied, walking into his bedroom and closing the door. "I'm allergic."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Gamer locked the bathroom door and looked into the mirror.  
  
Every inch of his face was covered in cherry pink lipstick.  
  
Suppressing a shudder of horror, he quickly grabbed a washcloth and began to clean his face.  
  
Clearly, coming to Sakura's Valentine's Day party had not been a stroke of genius on his part. He'd been swarmed the instant he stepped into the house, and had only survived because they let him come up for air every twenty seconds. And there was still Yugi (and maybe even D) when he got home. That thought alone sent another shudder down his spine.  
  
"Damn my cuteness," he muttered, scrubbing harder. He absently wondered if he could scrub that off, too.  
  
There was a knock on the door. "Gamer! Come out of there!"  
  
"No, Sakura-chan!" he shouted back.  
  
"Oh, don't be like that! I promise I won't kiss you anymore today!"  
  
Gamer almost fell for it. Almost. "What about Tomoyo?" he asked suspiciously. "And every OTHER girl you've got out there?!"  
  
Not surprisingly, there was silence at the door.  
  
Gamer frowned and scrubbed harder.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"So explain why Nate likes to brood?"  
  
D sighed and continued to reapply her black lipstick in front of the mirror. "Yugi, have you ever seen Nate with a girl?"  
  
"Yeah. Android 18, Hotaru, Washu, Sak-"  
  
"A human girl," D interrupted. "With 'properly-proportioned' parts and stuff."  
  
"Oh." Yugi thought for a long moment.  
  
"Don't hurt yourself; you haven't."  
  
Yugi glared and stuck out her tongue at D's reflection. "So?"  
  
"So there's a reason for that."  
  
"What?"  
  
D pulled a list out of her pocket and tossed it to her. "This."  
  
Yugi looked down and blinked. "Nate's Laws of Suckiness?"  
  
"Just read," D replied.  
  
"1. Girls do NOT like Nate."  
  
"Keep going."  
  
"2. Girls do NOT want to be with Nate."  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"3. Nate will NEVER have a girlfriend."  
  
"Go on."  
  
"I think I've heard enough," Yugi said. "So you're saying it's scientifically impossible for Nate to get a date?"  
  
"Outside of you, me, and fictives, yes."  
  
"No wonder he's brooding…"  
  
"Well, there you go."  
  
"Wait. Why do YOU have to brood, D? You're cute enough to get a date."  
  
D shook her head. "Thanks, I guess, but you're assuming I want a date."  
  
"Then what do you want?"  
  
"To be there for my Writer when he needs me. What else would a good Muse want?"  
  
"Are you implying that I'm not a good Muse?"  
  
"No, I'm implying that you have a life outside of being a Muse. We're from two different worlds, Yugi."  
  
"Not true! We both like blowing stuff up!"  
  
D shrugged. "Both rich and poor people like money."  
  
Yugi frowned. "D, are you mad at me or something?"  
  
"Of course not. I'm just explaining why Nate and me have to brood. It's not your fault that you can't relate. You just don't have anything to brood about." D put her lipstick away. "Face it, Yugi. If we were in high school, you'd be the head cheerleader that went out with the captain of the football team, and Nate would be the nerdy guy your lunkhead boyfriend 'accidentally' tripped up every time you went past him."  
  
"And you would be?"  
  
"The devastatingly beautiful but unusually compassionate school newspaper editor that Nate gradually falls in love with. But that's another story."  
  
"Are you calling me stuck-up?!" Yugi cried.  
  
"NO, Yugi." D sighed and shook her head. "Look, you didn't do anything wrong this time. This is just something Nate has to do, and I have to help him. It's no different from when you, Gamer, and Nate hang out with anime fictives and leave me here to watch Deemon. By the way, have you seen her?"  
  
"Huh? Oh, sure. She went to Sakura's house with Gamer. Why?"  
  
* * * * *  
  
Gamer took a deep breath and slipped out the bathroom window as quietly as possible. If he was careful, he could reach the end of the block before the girls realized he'd rigged the toilet to flush every two minutes.  
  
Without warning, something soft and warm slipped into his hand. Naturally, he screamed bloody murder and took off running, thinking they were trying to surround him…again.  
  
He'd actually run two blocks before he realized that whatever it was hadn't let go, and that it was only Deemon's hand, anyway. Gamer could vaguely remember losing sight of her after he'd been swarmed for the second time.  
  
She was staring up at him, a very confused look on her elfin face. "Was that another Valentine's Day tradition?" her screen asked. "The screaming and the running?"  
  
"No," Gamer admitted, trying to catch his breath. "That's just a wimp in action."  
  
Deemon looked relieved. "Oh, good. I was starting to get tired. You run REALLY fast…"  
  
"Yeah, well, YOU try avoiding a herd of Amazons and see how fast you get."  
  
"What's an Amazon?"  
  
"Nothing. Absolutely NOTHING."  
  
"Um…okay. Are we going home now?"  
  
"Yes, Deemon. And if I ever agree to go to another Valentine's Day party, I want you to kick me in the kneecaps. Hard. Twice."  
  
"But won't that hurt, Muse Gamer?"  
  
"Yes, little one," Gamer replied with a frown. "That's EXACTLY the point…"  
  
* * * * *  
  
Yugi was already in a foul mood. Nate had officially begun brooding three hours ago, and the entire apartment seemed to be echoing his mood. Everything just seemed so…dark. She suspected D had actually cut the power to add to the atmosphere, but that theory fell through when Gamer got back and turned on the lights.  
  
True to her nature, Yugi hated to be ignored, and was overjoyed when he did show up. Therefore, she was much less joyful when he sat down and described his day.  
  
"…and THEN Rika slapped on the handcuffs, and I thought I would NEVER get away from that coffee table, but I managed to—"  
  
Deciding she'd had enough, Yugi walked over to Gamer, stuffed a crystal shard in his mouth, and buried her face in his lap, making pitiful moans and general "I'm-depressed, so-fix-it" sounds.  
  
Gamer carefully withdrew the shard. "Is something wrong, love?"  
  
"Do you know," Yugi said quietly, "what Nate is doing right now?"  
  
"No?" He reached down and stroked her long hair.  
  
"He's in his bedroom. With D. Brooding. BROODING! On Valentine's Day!"  
  
Gamer stared at the back of her blonde head for a long moment. Finally, he said, "I'm sorry?"  
  
"Nobody loves me," Yugi murmured.  
  
Gamer cleared his throat loudly.  
  
"Nobody important, anyway…"  
  
"HEY!"  
  
"If you were REALLY important, you'd break down the door and drag them out of there!"  
  
Gamer lifted Yugi's face and kissed her forehead. "Be right back." He hopped off the couch and walked into the hallway.  
  
Yugi folded her hands in her lap and waited.  
  
There was a sound not entirely like BUZZA-BANG!, followed by the sound of a body hitting the floor.  
  
A few minutes later, Gamer crawled back into view, his clothes smoking and scorched. It took a few tries, but he managed to climb back onto the couch. "I'm not REALLY important," he said matter-of-factly.  
  
"No?" Yugi asked.  
  
"No," he confirmed. "D's put up some kind of shield. You can't touch the door."  
  
"Can't?"  
  
Gamer stared at his hands and sighed. "Shouldn't."  
  
"Ah."  
  
Gamer shot her a pitiful look. "I don't suppose you'd consent to kissing it and making it better?"  
  
"Oh, sure," Yugi replied. "After you take a shower or five…"  
  
Gamer was just about to point out that it was HER fault he'd gotten burned to a crisp when someone cleared their throat directly behind him. He turned to see an Officer Jenny fictive staring at them, a sorrowful look on her face. "Yes?" he asked.  
  
"Would either of you happen to be Nate's Anime Muse?" she asked hesitantly, wringing her hands.  
  
Yugi instantly began looking around the room, as if SHE'D never heard of Nate having a Muse, but was determined to find one all the same.  
  
Gamer sighed. "I am."  
  
"Oh." Jenny paled considerably. "I'm afraid I have some dreadful news, then." She removed her hat and clenched it tightly. "Several of your anime fictives have turned up…um…dead."  
  
Gamer blinked in shock. "Dead?"  
  
"Yes. Each seems to have been murdered in exactly the same manner. There are no witnesses." Jenny hesitated again. "I'll need you to identify the bodies. To be sure they're yours, of course."  
  
"Of course," Gamer echoed absently. He glanced at Yugi, who had an equally shocked look on her face. "Are there any suspects?"  
  
"I'm afraid not," Jenny admitted. "At first, we thought it was someone with something against DBZ fictives. But then Eriol, Tomoyo, and Syaoran turned up…"  
  
"And Sakura?!" Gamer pressed, his eyes widening.  
  
Jenny looked even more uncomfortable. "She wasn't with them."  
  
Gamer ran a hand through his hair, trying to remain calm. Tomoyo had been at Sakura's party, and he'd only left there just over an hour ago with Deemon. They'd just barely avoided…  
  
Jenny's pager suddenly beeped, and she snatched it up, reading the message. Her face paled yet again. "No…" she whispered.  
  
"What?" Gamer asked.  
  
"I'm sorry. They just found Trunks and Sasami."  
  
At this, Yugi let out a strangled cry and hid her face in her hands.  
  
Gamer hugged her tightly, offering what comfort he could. "Are you sure there are no suspects?"  
  
Jenny shook her head. "None."  
  
Gamer frowned. Obviously, someone was out to get rid of all Nate's anime fictives. Suddenly, his eyes widened. "Deemon?" he called uncertainly.  
  
There was silence, of course, but he still expected to hear the tiny footsteps hurrying toward him. There were none.  
  
Yugi's head raised slightly. "Wasn't she just with you?" she murmured.  
  
"Yes." Gamer looked at Yugi. "I have to find her. She could be next."  
  
Yugi nodded. "I'll tell Nate and D." She took a deep breath and kissed him. "Be careful."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Sakura stared down at the body in front of her, trying not to scream.  
  
Syaoran was dead.  
  
She hadn't really believed the telepathic warning Yugi had sent to all Nate's fictives, anime or otherwise.  
  
And now Syaoran was dead. As were Tomoyo and Eriol.  
  
Syaoran was dead.  
  
Sakura's eyes filled with tears, and it took all her strength from crying out in despair.  
  
Without warning, there was a quiet thump behind her.  
  
Sakura whirled around, shrieking as her eyes fell upon Kiyone. It only took her a second to recognize the fallen fictive as Nate's, and a few more to spot the strange, gooey mess on Kiyone's uniform. Then she saw the small, hooded figure with the violet, swirling cape, holding what appeared to be a water gun. The figure chuckled in a raspy voice and began to advance on her.  
  
"NO!" Sakura cried, whipping out her wand as she backed away. "Don't come any closer!"  
  
The figure kept coming, drawing a bead on Sakura's head.  
  
"FIREY!" Sakura shouted, pointing her wand at her enemy.  
  
In a glorious blaze of flames, Firey erupted from her flat prison, wings outstretched as she rushed to defend her Mistress.  
  
The figure turned the water gun on Firey with surprising results.  
  
Sakura gasped as Firey's normally intangible body became solid and dropped to the ground. She, too, was covered in a gooey substance, and instantly grew still, as if turned to stone.  
  
The figure chuckled again and turned back to Sakura, aiming the gun.  
  
Sakura hated to endanger another of her Cards, but at this point, she probably had the best chance of taking the killer down. "SHOT!" she cried.  
  
The figure froze and turned away, blinded by the sudden bright light.  
  
Sakura took her chance and ran to Firey, grunting as she dragged the frozen elemental toward the exit. Behind her, she could hear Shot firing mercilessly at the killer, and hoped that she was having better luck than Firey had.  
  
But all too soon, Shot stopped firing, and Sakura knew she was doomed. A glance over her shoulder showed the killer was coming for her again.  
  
"POWER!" Sakura yelled, gripping her wand tightly.  
  
The killer paused as if startled, then ran at Sakura, raising the gun again.  
  
With a frustrated cry, Sakura raised her fist and drove it into the floor as hard as she could. The entire building shook from the force of the blow, and large pieces of the ceiling began to fall. Sakura saw the killer barely miss being crushed by a steel beam, then run from the room.  
  
Feeling severely drained, Sakura covered Firey with her own body and lowered her head, hoping her magic would protect them long enough.  
  
Just then, a hand grabbed her shoulder.  
  
Sakura screamed and lashed out, her forearm connecting with something that felt like solid steel. She gasped as she stared into large, violet eyes. "Gamer?" she whispered in disbelief, her fear melting away.  
  
Gamer released her arm pressed the fallen form of Shot into her chest. "You're safe now, Sakura-chan."  
  
An instant later, they landed on Nate's couch.  
  
Sakura blinked as she got a whiff of sugar cookies. Then she noticed that Deemon clinging to Gamer's back.  
  
"I found her hiding at D's house," Gamer explained, releasing the Millennium Puzzle around his neck. He paused. "Are you all right, Sakura- chan?"  
  
Sakura stared at him, then burst into tears. "I thought I was next!" she sobbed. "First it got Firey, then Shot, and I knew it was going to get me next! No matter what I did, it just kept coming!"  
  
Gamer gathered her in his arms, resting his chin on her head. "But you're the first one to see the killer and live. That's something to be thankful for, isn't it?"  
  
Sakura sniffled and tightened her grip on him. "I'm thankful for you, Gamer. If you hadn't come when you did…"  
  
"But I did," he reminded her quietly. "Come on, you'd better tell Nate & Yugi what you saw. Maybe it'll help us recognize the killer."  
  
Sakura didn't think so, but she followed Gamer to Nate's bedroom, anyway.  
  
And then promptly began to scream.  
  
Gamer's heart skipped a beat as he took in the scene, automatically pressing Deemon's face to his chest so she wouldn't see anything.  
  
The room was covered in glittering pieces from Yugi's crystal shards. It looked as if every single one she'd thrown had been shattered somehow.  
  
Yugi & D were lying facedown on the floor, their hands joined in what must have been a last-ditch attempt to throw all their combined power at the killer. Only for some reason, it hadn't worked. Gamer tried not to think about what kind of creature had the power to take down two Muses, and what his and Sakura's chances now looked like.  
  
Nate was sprawled across the bed, his mouth open in shock. Gamer guessed he'd either seen the killer's face, or was too petrified to move after he'd seen both his Muses fall. Again, the gooey substance was on his chest. Gamer figured he'd find the same thing on Yugi & D, but didn't bother to turn them over.  
  
Sakura had finally screamed herself hoarse and sagged against the doorway, crying silently.  
  
Gamer walked over to her, his face showing no emotion as he handed Deemon to her. "I need…a few seconds," he said at last.  
  
Sakura nodded and led Deemon to the kitchen, wondering when this nightmare would end.  
  
Seconds later, they both heard Gamer cry out as his transformation began. But it wasn't the usual shout of "YU-GI-OH!" this time. Though his voice was choked and grief-stricken, Sakura recognized Yugi's name. And then she realized what that meant.  
  
She could only assume that it was the Shadow King that walked in a moment later, a black cape streaming behind him. His face appeared to be the same as Gamer's, though there was a decidedly hard look about his eyes.  
  
"Let's end this," he said quietly.  
  
Sakura nodded, too afraid to do much else.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Deemon was worried for several reasons. First and foremost, Writer Nate had never specified what she was to do in the event of his death. She wasn't really worried about being killed, since most people tended to overlook her unless big sister or Muse Gamer pointed her out.  
  
Though since big sister was dead and Muse Gamer had become Scary Muse Gamer, she didn't think anyone would be pointing her out any time soon. Friend Sakura would occasionally pat her on the head, something that normally would've been reassuring, except that Friend Sakura would then go back to looking scared and nervous.  
  
Scary Muse Gamer hadn't said anything in a long while, but Friend Sakura seemed to think following him was important, so Deemon went along with it. In the meantime, she was trying to figure out what would happen to them, now that Writer Nate wasn't alive. She wasn't quite sure, but whatever it was, she suspected it was a very bad thing.  
  
So far, they'd been to all the crime scenes looking for clues, but it was always the same thing. No witnesses, and a gooey mess as the apparent cause of death.  
  
Finally, Scary Muse Gamer stopped and said, "We're the last anime fictives."  
  
"So…what's that mean?" Friend Sakura asked slowly.  
  
"That unless the criminal's satisfied, they'll come back for us."  
  
Friend Sakura looked as if she might scream again. "And you have a plan. Right?"  
  
"Yes. You two will be bait."  
  
Deemon didn't like the sound of that. Neither, apparently, did Friend Sakura.  
  
"You WANT us to get killed?!"  
  
"No one has been killed," Scary Muse Gamer replied. "Only their souls have been stolen."  
  
"Isn't that the same thing?"  
  
"Of course not. Everyone can be revived, provided we manage to stop whatever's taking the souls."  
  
"So you want OUR souls to be stolen so you can follow it?" Friend Sakura asked.  
  
"Well, if you have experience in restoring souls, please tell me now."  
  
"Oh, FINE. Just make sure you get our souls BACK, okay?!"  
  
"There is no need to worry. Once I have discovered the source of the criminal's power, it should be a simple matter to deal with."  
  
Friend Sakura didn't look very reassured, but she closed her eyes, and pink waves of magical power began to radiate from her body.  
  
Almost instantly, somebody in a violet hood and cape appeared, aiming a water gun at Friend Sakura. Deemon could sense her struggling not to dodge as the wet stuff hit her. She went stiff, and then fell.  
  
Deemon waited for the same treatment, but the hooded person put the gun away. Confused, she remained perfectly still as the soul-stealer came closer and offered a small hand which seemed very familiar.  
  
* * * * *  
  
The Shadow King almost smiled as Deemon and the soul-stealer joined hands. So far, so good.  
  
It was easy enough to slip into the portal that appeared a moment later, but that was where it stopped being easy.  
  
Instantly, the Shadow King found his eyes assaulted by thousands of formless colors. In all his years of existence, he'd never seen anything like it. There was no ground, no sky, no anything. Just colors upon more colors.  
  
Without warning, he encountered red of plump, fluffy hearts, white of soft, chewy marshmallows, and brown of the sweetest chocolates.  
  
He knew there was only one place he could possibly be.  
  
The scene slowly came into focus. There were several people sitting in a grassy field, all gathered around a sundial that no longer worked, yet it made the whole place look like an award winning painting all the same.  
  
Perched on top of the sundial, singing a song about how gummy bears who had lost their heads tasted twice as sweet, was the mistress of this topsy- turvy realm, the Lady Delirium.  
  
With a start, the Shadow King realized that the 'people' around her were actually the supposedly dead anime fictives…or rather, their souls. No one looked the least bit upset about being taken from their bodies…save Vegeta, who was vehemently refusing to accept a candy heart from Cell. Upon closer inspection, instead of the usual affectionate message, "YOU SUCK!" was printed in bright green letters.  
  
Realizing that there was no danger in this childlike(yet slightly disturbed) place, the Shadow King receded, and Gamer regained control of his mind and body. Instantly, Deemon tackled him around the waist.  
  
"Guess you're wondering how we're all alive, huh, Baka Boy?" Cell asked.  
  
"Oh, I imagine there's a VERY good story behind it," Gamer replied, patting Deemon's head. "But it can wait. Pass me one of those candy hearts."  
  
Cell grinned and handed him a light blue one. "Made this one special for you."  
  
Gamer squinted at the tiny heart. "I'm impressed you were able to fit all that on there."  
  
"Yeah, well, when you're inspired…"  
  
"In what twisted world does writing 'CELL RULES, BAKA BOY DROOLS, AND PROBABLY ONLY BECAME A MUSE BY GIVING KINO-SAN SOME XXX-TRA CREDIT' count as inspiration?"  
  
Cell continued to grin. "Welcome to hell."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"I think I've got it this time." Gamer took a deep breath. "First, Deemon decided that Nate shouldn't be sad on Valentine's Day, so she asked Delirium to help her plan a party."  
  
"Again, thanks," Nate sighed, picking at his brand new 'PROPERTY OF YUGI: GODDESS OF THE WORLD' T-shirt. "Cell, do we HAVE to wear these?"  
  
Cell frowned at him. "Yes." He flexed a few times, showing off his 'THE TRUE JADE STUDMUFFIN: PICCOLO SUCKS!' shirt. "I made them myself."  
  
Gamer rolled his eyes. "Then, Delirium decided to invite us by stealing our souls for the day."  
  
"Well, it wasn't like we could say no," Sakura pointed out, smiling at her 'SYAORAN'S SWEETHEART' shirt (Syaoran was glaring at his 'SAKURA'S LOVE MACHINE' shirt, but had not yet complained).  
  
"Next, Delirium used her powers to make another Deemon that went around shooting us all."  
  
"YOU didn't get shot," D pointed out with a frown (she was none too happy with her 'GOTH GAL BARBIE' shirt, which brought back some unpleasant memories).  
  
"Finally, Delirium had the brilliant idea of putting Cell in charge of the party attire."  
  
Cell took a few bows, ignoring the looks Kiyone and Officer Jenny shot him (both had been labeled as 'FREE LOVE DOLLS: TODAY ONLY!').  
  
"There's one thing I don't get," Gamer said. "Why would Deemon want it to look like we were all dead? And why would she agree to such an obviously evil plan?"  
  
Deemon pouted and tried to look innocent (the 'HUG ME, I'M CUTE!' shirt helped a lot), while her hooded clone giggled mischievously (the 'KISS ME, I'M EVIL!' shirt only added to the mood).  
  
"Oh, that," Yugi replied, waving a hand dismissively. "Eriol's teaching her how to be evil and adorable at the same time."  
  
"Why?!" Gamer cried, hugging Deemon protectively.  
  
"Because, as Our Writer failed to notice, the original Daemon was quite evil," Eriol replied. "As you can see, our dear Deemon is adorable already."  
  
"I didn't 'fail to notice' anything," Nate snapped. "And Daemon WASN'T evil. Her intentions just seemed that way. Anyway, I don't have any evil fictives."  
  
Cell and Vegeta both shot Heero Yuy Death Glares at him.  
  
"Oh, please. Yugi's got you both tamed."  
  
Cell instantly backed off, while it took Vegeta a glance at his own pink 'DADDY LOVES HIS LITTLE PRINCESS' to turn bright red and mumble under his breath.  
  
"I still don't see why Deemon has to be evil," Gamer insisted. "She's perfect the way she is!"  
  
Deemon blushed a little.  
  
"SHE doesn't have to," Eriol answered, "but her clone does, and she seems to be very pleased with her first venture into wickedness."  
  
Deemon's clone grinned menacingly, causing the people around her to back away quickly.  
  
"You see?" Eriol patted the clone's head. "She likes being bad, and she couldn't have a better teacher."  
  
"I still don't like it," Gamer muttered.  
  
"This from the person who shares a body with the Shadow King?"  
  
Gamer glared at him. "FINE. But first, you promise to leave the original Deemon alone."  
  
"Done," Eriol agreed. "You keep Deemon, and I'll keep Demon."  
  
Gamer frowned. "You're going to called her that?"  
  
"Well, it's short for Demonseed. But maybe we'll change it to Daemonseed, since she takes after her mother."  
  
"Just call her Seed," Cell suggested. "That's enough to make anyone act evil."  
  
"One last question." Gamer stared at his chest, which read 'YUGI'S BOY TOY' in bold red. "Do I HAVE to wear this?"  
  
"You certainly do," Yugi replied, flashing her 'GODDESS OF THE WORLD' shirt at him. "Consider it your Valentine's gift to me."  
  
"Then where's my gift?"  
  
Yugi grabbed his head and pulled him closer to her shirt. "Look, it's right there."  
  
Gamer squinted. In almost microscopic writing (especially when compared to the size of 'GODDESS OF THE WORLD'), near the bottom of Yugi's shirt, was a neat 'Gamer's Girl.' "You call that a gift?"  
  
"No, that's just the wrapping. I'm the gift!"  
  
"No fair. You were a gift at Christmas, too!"  
  
"I'm the gift that keeps on giving." Yugi grinned at him. "And you always seem to have so much fun unwrapping me…"  
  
"HEY! There's kids here!" Nate cried, covering Deemon's ears. Eriol, most appropriately, made no such attempt with Demon (though he was busy admiring his 'TOMOYO'S LOVE SLAVE' shirt).  
  
* * * * *  
  
"So it all worked out nicely?"  
  
Delirium nodded, giggling happily. "Nate wasn't sad, and I got a new shirt!" She pointed proudly to her 'OUR LADY OF CHAOS, LONG MAY SHE REIGN' shirt.  
  
Death smiled. "That's nice, Del. Who made this again?"  
  
"You know, the big green bug thing with black chickenpox. He gave me one for you, too!"  
  
"Oh, really?" Death asked warily. "Let's see it."  
  
The shirt wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. Cell had stuck Death's head on some random supermodel's body and simply written 'TO DIE FOR!' in black letters. Considering whom it was from, it was a very sweet gesture.  
  
"Oh, and he said I could help with the next party! On Patrick's birthday!" Delirium added.  
  
"That's St. Patrick's Day, dear," Death pointed out. "And I don't know if you need to. Nate doesn't celebrate any holiday that can't get him out of class."  
  
"But I've already taught the shamrockers how to dance!"  
  
Death started to ask, then decided it was best not to. "Okay. But no going overboard this time."  
  
"The bug thing volunteered to do shirts again!"  
  
"Never mind…"  
  
* * * * *  
  
Disclaimer: Ah, you know the drill by now. No sense in wasting valuable space. 


	12. Books of Apocrypha: Hot Flashes

Note: I realize D would NEVER do something like this. But I haven't been giving her much attention lately, and she's been...irritable. Not that this story will help much.  
  
Summary: D decides to get a little attention in a big way.  
  
Books of Apocrypha: Hot Flashes  
By XMAN0123 (Nate)  
  
It wasn't fair, really. Not at all.  
  
The Sandman was a dark, complex, compelling tale of romance, horror, and mystery, among other things.  
  
Tenchi Muyo was about an unlucky (and apparently, useless) kid living with an alien harem that regularly crashed spaceships. Not exactly entertaining, especially considering he almost never touched them (the women, not the ships).   
  
Yet Yugi was the beloved Muse, the popular Muse, the Cutie Pie that everyone adored.  
  
D, on the other hand, was Yugi's partner, Nate's Second Muse, and little else. Oh, sure, she was an honorary member of the Endless, but she hardly got the chance to use her powers, as they were either too dangerous or too show-offy. Yugi, with her perfect little tweaks of telekinesis and not-so-little psi-blasts of epic proportions, almost always got to use her powers.   
  
No, it wasn't fair. Yugi got all the attention, all the friends, and all the fame. All D got was regular hugs from Deemon (though everyone got those) and Gamer's respect (which didn't count for much anymore, since he technically belonged to Yugi).  
  
It was time to do something about that. Something drastic. Something unexpected. Something-as Yugi would put it-naughty.  
  
It was time to be bad.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Having become a full-fledged Muse, Gamer was no longer required to work at the Writer's Café. However, he'd continued working there, as the money was good, and so was the atmosphere.   
  
Not the Writers, of course. They were often sullen and obnoxious (usually from being kicked out of the Subreality Café). No, Gamer's love of the Café came directly from his coworkers. There was Hank, always prepared with a smile, witty comment, a bit of advice, or all of the above. Pinocchio provided the comic relief (he wasn't really funny, but you had to laugh when he pummeled fictives three times his size into whimpering, pathetic masses of fear). Last, but certainly not least, was Gamer's immediate superior, Makoto Kino (technically, Hank had hired him, but most of his orders came from her).   
  
It was exceedingly difficult NOT to like Makoto, though. She was efficient, powerful, and generally kind to anyone who didn't come between her and her cooking. She was also fairly beautiful, when she wasn't sweating over a hot stove (and even then Gamer had to look away to keep from developing certain mental pictures).   
  
Gamer himself worked as a busboy, waiter, and occasionally Assistant Bouncer. It wasn't that Pinocchio couldn't handle the job, but Gamer could often save them both a little work just buy transforming into the Shadow King and glaring at fictives that started to wander too close. Of course, that was hardly any fun, so he didn't do it often. Usually, he just held the bigger fictives down while Pinocchio wailed away.  
  
At any rate, it was a fun job. There were interesting people/creatures, and it was always strange to see how other Muses interacted with their Writers. Gamer quickly realized that many Writers didn't seem to like their Muses at all, while others simply adored them. He decided that he'd been lucky to end up with Nate, who didn't exactly lavish him with attention, but never really mistreated him, either. But with Yugi and Deemon around, Gamer hardly needed any more attention.  
  
* * * * *  
  
D was not a regular at the Writer's Café. She'd only been once, that was enough for her. Tonight, though, she was going to make a rare exception.  
  
Strangely enough, Pinocchio seemed to recognize her right away, and let her through with a nod.  
  
Of course, she didn't get far when Hank appeared. D sighed mentally. Hank was nice enough, but she just didn't like blue fur. Even Cookie Monster gave her the creeps if she stared for too long.  
  
"Table for one, Lady D?" Hank asked politely.  
  
"Er...no. I'm here to see Gamer." Ignoring the first ever use of what should've been her proper title, D wondered if everyone there had really good memories...or if Gamer had been talking about her nonstop, for some odd reason.  
  
"I believe you'll find him in the kitchen with Makoto." Hank pointed helpfully.  
  
"Ah. Thanks, Blue." D quickly made her way to the kitchen, where she found Gamer wrestling what looked like a small, squealing dragon to the floor.  
  
"Be right with you, D!" he shouted over the noise, looking thoroughly surprised but delighted to see her all the same. Finally, Makoto knocked the dragon out with a very tiny thunderbolt.  
  
"Is this a regular thing for you guys?" D asked slowly.  
  
"Nope, this is special," Gamer replied, wiping some sweat from his forehead. "One of the customers wants to eat a roasted dragon, and he brought it with him."  
  
"Well, it's probably done now," D pointed out, noting the wisps of smoke floating up from the dragon's hide.  
  
"Oh, I hope he didn't suffer," Makoto sighed, looking as if she'd just run down a kitten.  
  
D decided not to point out that dragons were a bit more dangerous than kittens. Instead, she grabbed Gamer's arm and dragged him away from the kitchen (and more importantly, the dead dragon). "I need your help," she said once they were alone.  
  
Gamer looked surprised. "With what?" D had been a Muse a lot longer than him, and it was far more likely she would've asked Yugi for help first...which implied this had something to do with her. Something D didn't want her finding out about.  
  
"A production," D said at last, her eyes darting around anxiously.   
  
"A what?" Gamer asked slowly.  
  
"You heard me." D looked him in the eye. "Will you help me?"  
  
"Well...what KIND of production, D?"  
  
D appeared to be offended. "Don't you trust me?"  
  
"Of course, but you'd never pass up a chance to make fun of Yugi, and vice versa."  
  
She smiled. "You know us well. But this won't affect Yugi at all, I promise."  
  
"And will she be mad at me for helping you?" Gamer asked.  
  
"Nope. In fact, she'll praise you for the level of maturity involved in this project."  
  
Gamer didn't like the sound of that. There was very little maturity involved with being one of Nate's Muses (part of the reason why it was so much fun), and D knew it. It was far more likely Yugi would praise him for bringing her a strawberry-flavored dessert. "This sounds very suspicious, D."  
  
"Do it and I'll make sure you see your grandfather again."  
  
Gamer's eyes widened. "You...you could do that?"  
  
"No, but you know I know someone who could."  
  
"Well...okay. I'll help you."  
  
D smiled impishly. "Good. You won't regret this, Gamer. It's going to be big. Huge, even."  
  
Gamer instantly regretted his decision. "Kami, I'm a fool..."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Pinocchio had just mopped the floor (or more accurately, the pavement) with yet another Yamcha fictive when he spotted It. At first, he thought It was a ghost. Then the Cuban cigar fell from his lips, and he realized no ghost looked THAT good.  
  
Even the beaten Yamcha in the gutter stopped moaning in pain as he, too, caught sight of It.  
  
It was pale, sleek, and lovely as It jogged toward them.  
  
It was topped by a head of bushy, black hair.  
  
It...was also completely nude, save for a large ankh that covered the bare essentials. But just barely. Pinocchio instantly grew to hate the ankh, even more than those damnable CENSORED signs that always hid the REALLY good stuff on TV.  
  
Perhaps by pure chance, Pinocchio noticed Gamer running behind It, blindfolded, his hands thrust out before him, sending out rainbows and miniature suns and stars in just about every direction.  
  
All things considered, it added to the presentation quite nicely.  
  
Finally, the showcase (it seemed rude to call it anything else) reached them.  
  
"Hi, boys!" D called, lifting a hand to wave at them.  
  
Dumbfounded, Pinocchio waved back, his mouth wide open. He was vaguely aware of Yamcha giggling madly, and promptly stomped on his head.  
  
As the showcase moved on, Pinocchio spotted a message on Gamer's jacket. "This masterpiece was brought to you by Merry Muse Productions!"  
  
"Kami's been good to us," Yamcha whispered.  
  
"And tha Scribe bless Subreality," Pinocchio added, wiping away a tear.   
  
* * * * *  
  
Nate was not what he considered a popular person. At least, not in terms of his answering machine. It stayed virtually empty all year round. In fact, it was even starting to collect dust.  
  
Though, for some reason, this night it had 1062 messages. Puzzled but curious, he hit Play.  
  
"Hi, uh...D? It's...Trunks. Listen, I've been thinking about what you said, and...I don't REALLY think Yugi would mind if we went out to dinner. I mean, she does have Gamer and all. So, call me back? Bye."  
  
BEEP!  
  
"That was weird," Nate muttered.  
  
"D? It's Syaoran."  
  
THAT caught Nate off guard.   
  
"I thought I'd call and invite you over for dinner tomorrow night. Nothing special, just you, me and...MEILING, NO! PUT DOWN THAT BAT--!"  
  
BEEP!  
  
"Hey, D. This is Gene Starwind. Now, I KNOW you're a little young, but-"  
  
Nate quickly deleted that message and moved on. Something very strange was going on.  
  
"Hey, baby," said a very deep voice, causing Nate to freeze. "It's the Luuuuv Doctor, come to heal yo' pain, baby. I got the cure for what ails ya, baby, and can't nobody heal ya like the Luuuuv Doctor, baby. Yeah, you know what I-"  
  
"CELL!" shouted a voice in the background, sounding remarkably like Vegeta's. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"  
  
BEEP!  
  
Nate stopped the messages. "I think I'd better have a talk with D..."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Never before had the Subreality Dojo and Sake Bar gotten so much business. Sakura wasn't exactly sure why, but she didn't much care. She'd probably earn enough in tips alone to take a nice, long vacation with Syaoran.  
  
It was a little strange that they were all male, and that they were all sitting very close to the table currently occupied by D, Gamer, and Deemon. But they were all gulping down drinks as if their very lives depended on it, and Sakura was too busy to worry about where their attention was.  
  
"I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner," D said, grinning brightly.   
  
"I can't believe you did it," Deemon's screen added.  
  
"I can't believe I went along with it," Gamer sighed.  
  
"I can't believe you wore a blindfold the whole time." D continued to grin at him. "I wouldn't have minded if you'd looked, y'know."  
  
Gamer glared at her. "Don't tempt me, D. I'd like to remain loyal to Yugi."  
  
"There's nothing wrong with looking," D pointed out.  
  
"You're under the assumption that I'd be able to control myself."  
  
"You saying you couldn't?" D asked, absently playing with the zipper on her jacket.  
  
"Stop that!"  
  
"What?" she asked innocently, grinning at him again.  
  
"Excuse me," said a voice behind her, "but could I have your number?"  
  
D smiled, not even bothering to turn around. "Sorry, but I'm busy tonight."  
  
"That's a shame. I was hoping we could have some burritos and discuss the positive aspects of dying young."  
  
D blinked slowly...mostly because that sounded like a perfect date to her.  
  
"I can't believe you didn't even recognize my voice, D."  
  
Deemon beamed and waved. "Hi, Writer Nate!"  
  
"Your voice probably didn't get through her giant, swollen, freak head," Yugi muttered, glaring as slid into Gamer's lap.  
  
D rolled her eyes. "Sorry, Nate, but you wouldn't BELIEVE how many guys have suddenly come up to me."   
  
Nate smiled at her. "Oh, really."  
  
"Yeah! It's like, all of a sudden, people just started NOTICING me!"  
  
"That can happen when you're TOTALLY NAKED!" Yugi shouted.  
  
D smiled at her. "Something wrong, Yugi?"  
  
"I could forgive the naked stuff. Really. But you made Gamer help you!"  
  
Gamer turned bright red and suddenly found the floor very interesting.  
  
"And not only that! You used MY production company!"  
  
"Actually, you turned full control of Merry Muse Productions over to me," Nate pointed out. "Remember? When you got bored with it?"  
  
"And I suppose you're upset that you didn't get to see it?!" Yugi cried.  
  
Nate smiled. "Not really. Apparently, someone got the whole thing on tape."  
  
"Who?!"  
  
"It was a joint venture," D replied. "With...what was it? Oh, yes. Cellular Studios."  
  
"Cell...helped you?!" Yugi shouted in disbelief.  
  
"He was very enthusiastic about the project. Even offered to do some Kamehamehas for special effects, but we didn't want any copyright trouble. Luckily, Gamer volunteered."  
  
"You said I wouldn't get into trouble with Yugi!" Gamer cried helplessly.  
  
"And you're not. She's mad at me, not you."  
  
"Just tell me you won't do this again," Yugi growled.  
  
D pretended to think about it. "Actually, there was such a positive response, we're thinking of doing it again next year and charging admission."  
  
Yugi's eyes widened. "You're not serious."  
  
"Cell wants to use the Dojo as an arena. We'd earn twice as much with the Sake Bar right next door..."  
  
"D, stop it! You're scaring me!"  
  
"Sakura's even offered to let me borrow her Cards for special effects."  
  
"Okay, D, you've made your point," Nate interrupted. "We'll pay more attention to you. Right, Yugi?"  
  
"Oh, I'll DEFINITELY be keeping an eye on her," Yugi promised, glaring again. She hugged Gamer possessively. "And keep your hands off my man!"  
  
D smiled innocently and began fussing with her zipper again.  
  
Gamer clamped a hand over his nose and fled to the nearest bathroom.  
  
Yugi opened her mouth to say something.  
  
"Never touched him," D pointed out.  
  
Yugi glared at her. "Ooooh, you!"  
  
"Once he gets back, let's go home," Nate suggested.  
  
"I don't know, Nate. Are sure D can keep her clothes from falling off that long?!"  
  
Nate smiled. "Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to find out..."  
  
"NATE!"  
  
"Yugi, I told you D was beautiful the day I got her in the mail. It's not my fault if you didn't believe me."  
  
"Aw...you said that?" D asked, smiling up at him. "Even when I was a doll?"  
  
"Sure, I did. That's why Yugi's always been insanely jealous of you."  
  
"I AM NOT INSANELY JEALOUS!!!" Yugi screamed.  
  
"Muse Yugi, you're turning red," Deemon pointed out, looking worried.  
  
"Seriously, though, D," Nate whispered. "Next time you're feeling ignored, just tell me, okay?"  
  
"I dunno," D said, tapping her chin. "Promise to kiss me and make it better?"  
  
"Uh...we'll see."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Disclaimer: Merry Muse Productions is pretty much dead, since all the money it contains now is my two cents... 


	13. Things that Go "FEED ME!" in the Night

Note: If this story is any indication, I should give out more feedback. Though I hardly ever take my own advice, as I have a tendency to procrastinate tasks into oblivion...  
  
Summary: Nate doesn't do feedback...until the Feeder tracks him down.  
  
  
Things That Go "FEED ME!" In the Night  
By Nate  
  
  
Someone pulling on his arm awakened Nate. Considering that D would've jumped on his chest, and Yugi his head, it could only mean that his midnight visitor was either Gamer or Deemon. Nate wasn't sure what Gamer smelled like, but he was certain it wasn't sugar cookies.  
  
"Ngh. Go 'way," he muttered, turning away from the sweet scent.  
  
A few seconds later, something burrowed under the blankets and emerged next to his pillow, where it clamped onto his neck and shook so much that he was forced to wake up.  
  
Nate sighed, mostly in disappointment. Deemon was essentially his only perfect fictive. She never begged or demanded to be Written, helped out when he asked her to, and she never hogged the shower. In short, she had never been a bother to her Writer (which D saw as helpful and Yugi saw as weird).   
  
However, that also meant that if she really felt it was necessary to wake him at this hour, it was probably an emergency. So Nate humored her. "Okay, sweetie," he said quietly, gently stroking her hair. "What's the problem?"  
  
Deemon grabbed Nate's chin and turned his head toward the foot of the bed.  
  
Or where it would normally be, anyway.  
  
Instead, there was a thing. A very BIG thing that was currently chewing on the entire foot of the bed, which was no easy feat. It was yellow, had humongous jaws, and obviously had a major case of the midnight munchies. Nate would've sympathized...except that he shied away from swallowing furniture, as it was bad for the digestive system. Well, for his, anyway.  
  
"Er...Hi," Nate said after a moment.  
  
The thing freed its jaws from the bed, opened its mouth wide, and shouted, "FEED ME!"  
  
Deemon pulled the blanket over her head.  
  
"Don't worry," Nate said, patting the child-sized lump reassuringly. He raised his voice a bit. "Girls?" And then, after a moment's hesitation, "Gamer?"  
  
Yugi appeared first, spotted the thing, and pointedly gave Nate her "I-didn't-do-it, really-I-didn't" face.  
  
D arrived next, blinked, and then pinched herself to make sure she was awake.  
  
Gamer appeared in mid-yawn, spotted the thing, and apparently forgot to close his mouth after the yawn was over with.  
  
"Somebody," Nate suggested patiently, "should do something. It's scaring Deemon."  
  
The lump of blanket seemed to nod before burrowing its way under Nate's arm.  
  
Gamer started forward, but Yugi suddenly pulled him back.  
  
"That," she explained, sounding like a mother teaching her naughty child a valuable lesson, "is not our concern."  
  
"Excuse me?" Nate asked.  
  
"She's right, Nate," D reluctantly agreed. "We can't do anything about it."  
  
"Can you at least tell me what it is, then?"  
  
"It's a Feedback Feeder," Yugi replied intelligently, "and guess who has to feed it?" She flashed Nate a "ha-ha, you're-in-SOOOO-much-trouble" look and vanished.  
  
"Sorry, Nate," D apologized. "We're not allowed to mess with them." She, too, disappeared.  
  
"Well...I guess I could at least take Deemon," Gamer began, but the lump burrowed further under Nate's arm. "Or not," he finished, vanishing as well.  
  
"FEED ME!" the thing roared again.  
  
Nate frowned. "Gah."  
  
* * * * *  
  
VERY little had changed by morning.  
  
"FEED ME!" the Feedback Feeder roared.  
  
"NO!" Nate shouted back, clearly annoyed. "I hate giving feedback!"  
  
Cell popped into existence, taking Yugi's usual spot at the table. "Hey, Naterz. What's for breakfast?"  
  
Nate glared at him, then decided it wasn't worth the effort. "Waffles."  
  
"Cool!" Cell filled up a plate and began to eat.   
  
"FEED ME!" the Feedback Feeder wailed, startling them both.  
  
"Uh...your trash can is alive...again," Cell pointed out.  
  
"That's not a trash can, it's a Feedback Feeder. Although the resemblance is uncanny."  
  
Cell shrugged. "So, why don't you feed it?"  
  
"Because I hate giving feedback."  
  
"Yet you love getting it."  
  
"Untrue. I love positive reviews. I detest feedback, because it usually doesn't agree with me."  
  
"So you're a Feedback Ralpher," Cell reasoned. "Or Vomiter. Whatever."  
  
Nate stared at him, then surrendered his waffles.  
  
Cell grinned evilly and gobbled them up.  
  
Yugi entered the kitchen, followed by D, Gamer, and Deemon. "Nate, just feed the stupid thing already!"  
  
"Y'know," Cell began to say, his mouth full of waffles.  
  
"What?" Nate asked, already fearing the worst.  
  
Cell swallowed. "Technically, you should all feed it."  
  
"Why?" D asked, frowning.  
  
"If you don't, it'll just come back for the rest of you when Nate DOES feed it. Muses can participate in feedback fics, too."  
  
"Aw, man," Yugi muttered.  
  
Nate grinned. "Have a seat, girls...and guy."  
  
The Muses filled their plates and reluctantly sat down.  
  
"Luckily, I knew this day would come," Cell said cheerily (since HE wasn't required to help), "and I've already got a list of Nate's most often-read Writers you can give feedback to."  
  
"Better be short," Yugi growled.  
  
Cell rolled his eyes. "You know it is. Nate doesn't exactly read a ton of Subreal stuff."  
  
Nate stuck out his tongue (which was dark violet from the blueberry syrup). "I don't get half of it, anyway. I'm only responsible for Muse fics, comics, anime, popular books, and MSTies. Anything else is too complicated to hold my attention for long."  
  
"Well, have fun, kiddies," Cell teased, handing the list to Deemon. "I've got more important stuff to do."  
  
"You're just trying to get out of helping," D said accusingly.  
  
"You know me well." Cell vanished in a puff of green smoke.  
  
Deemon looked at the list. "Well, it isn't very long. Should we start now?"  
  
"Yeah, I guess," Nate sighed.  
  
"FEED ME!"  
  
Nate rolled his eyes. "Damien Kellis is king of angst fiction."  
  
The Feedback Feeder licked its lips. "MORE!"  
  
Nate blinked. "Gah. Can't believe that worked."  
  
"He's first on the list, actually," Deemon noted.  
  
"Oh, cool. Well, then I'm done."  
  
"MORE!" the Feedback Feeder demanded.  
  
"Fine." Nate thought for a moment. "It's reassuring to encounter a Writer that Broods as well as I do. You're up, Yugi."  
  
Yugi sighed. "Well, I'm not crazy about anyone that encourages you to be a depressing stick in the mud. Although I like that his Muse is armed and dangerous."  
  
"You may NOT have a mallet. It'd be too convenient. D?"  
  
"Er...I kinda like Sushi. But he's cool, too."  
  
"I miss Rachel," Gamer muttered.  
  
"You're just mad because he replaced someone in a sailor fuku that looked surprisingly like Makoto," D pointed out, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.  
  
Gamer blushed. "Shut up."  
  
Deemon checked the list. "Next is Chandri."  
  
"I think her interaction with Tris is interesting and unique," Nate replied.  
  
"Meaning what?" Yugi snapped.  
  
"Exactly what I said," Nate murmured vaguely.  
  
Yugi glared at him. "Well, I think you'd make any excuse just to yell at me."  
  
"I never yell AT you, Yugi. I yell BECAUSE of you."  
  
D sighed. "Well, I think Chandri's great. She brought-well, pointed out-Diagon Alley in Subreality and sort of opened the gate for the HP movement. And stuff by Lily is fun, too."  
  
"SHE treats her Muse right," Yugi mumbled.   
  
Nate rolled his eyes. "Next, Deemon?"  
  
"Static-Pulse."  
  
"He's a genius," Nate said instantly. "And it doesn't hurt that he gets to make out with Roxy, either."  
  
"The words of a former Gen13 fanboy, no doubt."  
  
"Quiet, Yugi."  
  
"You just like her because she reminds you of Jubilee!"  
  
"Not true. Jubilee's cute. Roxy is a teen goddess."  
  
"Do we HAVE to discuss this?" D grumbled, poking at her waffles.  
  
"MORE!" the Feedback Feeder shouted.  
  
"There's one more name on the list," Deemon pointed out, squinting. "But it's awfully small..."  
  
"Here, let me," Yugi said, snatching the list.  
  
Nate's eyes widened a bit. "Wait, Yugi, don't-"  
  
Too late. Yugi's eyes found the last name and narrowed. "I should've known."  
  
"What?" Gamer asked, suddenly interested again.  
  
"You," Yugi said, glaring at Nate, "are a traitor, a fanboy, and a butt-kisser."  
  
Nate blinked. "No, maybe, and really no."  
  
"The whole point of this 'feedback fic' was to suck up to HER, wasn't it?!"  
  
"Yugi, you're overreacting."  
  
"I am NOT! I thought you were over her!"  
  
Nate sighed loudly. "I AM, and I'll have you know that-"  
  
"Over who?" D asked, starting to get concerned.  
  
Gamer grabbed the list. "Um...I don't see the problem," he said at last.  
  
Clearly, that was the wrong thing to say, as Yugi turned her Death Glare on him.  
  
"Back off, Yugi," Nate said. "He didn't know."  
  
"So you ADMIT I'm right to be upset!" Yugi cried.  
  
"No, I said you were overreacting, and you still are."  
  
"Well, YOU'RE still hung up on HER! I think I've got every reason to be a little mad!"  
  
Nate rolled his eyes. "Yugi, you're imagining things. This is a list of my preferred Writers in Subreality, and just because I happen to read things by her doesn't mean I-"  
  
"What about the e-mails?!"  
  
Now even Deemon looked worried. "E-mails?"  
  
"How many were there? Ten?!"  
  
"Three and a half," Nate muttered.  
  
"You COUNTED them?!"  
  
"I'm guesstimating!"  
  
"LIES!" Yugi shrieked. "ALL LIES!"  
  
"FEED ME!"  
  
Without thinking, Nate turned on their unwelcome guest and snapped, "The Scribe rules all!"  
  
The Feedback Feeder blinked and promptly exploded, coating the room with bits of shredded paper.  
  
"Well, you killed it," D said, shaking paper out of her bushy hair. "But how?"  
  
Nate didn't dare answer, because Yugi was now using an official Heero Yuy Death Glare on him.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"I guess it was my fault," Nate admitted, shaking his head. "I was young and impressionable then."  
  
"So Yugi-san was mad about this girl you met?" Sakura asked.  
  
"Well...she wasn't really a girl...and I didn't really meet her. She stumbled across a fic of mine and asked if she could submit it to some mailing list. I think it was Outside the Lines, but I can't remember."  
  
"I still don't see the problem," Gamer said.  
  
Nate sighed. "I had just joined both FF.Net and Subreality, and was unsure of how good my Writing was. When she...actually e-mailed me...I felt...important. Like I really mattered, you know? Like I'd been handed a golden pen or something."  
  
"You mean a golden keyboard," Gamer corrected.  
  
"Whatever. The point was...it opened my eyes. And I realized that I WAS a good Writer, and a fairly good one at that."  
  
"Then what's Yugi's problem with her?" Sakura asked.  
  
"Try to understand. Around this time, D wasn't there. It was just Yugi and me, so she was thoroughly convinced that we belonged together...in a romantic sort of way. When this happened, I threw myself into being a Writer, and kept shutting her out. I wanted to prove myself, I guess."  
  
"To her?" Gamer guessed. "The girl-well, woman?"  
  
Nate blushed a bit. "Well, yeah. And to Subreality. I'd finally found somewhere I belonged, and I just had to prove I was meant to stay there. To be one of them." He coughed. "Of course, NOW I realize I was just being stupid about it, and it wasn't as big a deal as I made it seem."  
  
"You still haven't told us the problem," Sakura reminded him.  
  
Nate frowned. "I'd developed this...um, goddess-like view of her, almost like she was more than a real person, y'know? And when she contacted me...ME, of all people, I became...well..."  
  
"Smitten."  
  
Nate glared at Gamer, then sighed. "Yup."  
  
"Nate-sama..." Sakura said, getting a starry-eyed look on her face.  
  
Nate frowned at her. "Don't. Say. It. Please."  
  
"...you were in love with the Scribe!"  
  
Every patron in the Sake Bar froze.  
  
"SHH!" Gamer hissed, clapping a hand over her mouth. "You're such a kidder, Sakura-chan!" he laughed loudly and nervously.  
  
The patrons slowly (and suspiciously) continued their conversations.  
  
"I was NOT in love with her," Nate growled, looking thoroughly ashamed. "But you have to understand, I was still a kid. I figured only an amazingly talented person could do all the things she did. And I was right. I admit there MAY have been a schoolboy crush at one point, but that was THEN."  
  
"And this is now," Gamer replied. "But Yugi doesn't think so."  
  
"But Nate-sama, you still have a chance to-"  
  
"Sakura, NO. I don't feel that way any more, and besides." Nate paused and smirked, as if he knew something she didn't. "She's married. At least, I think so."  
  
Sakura's eyes widened. "REALLY?!"  
  
"Yes, REALLY, and happily, I'll bet. So shush. It's over now."  
  
"But I don't get it," Gamer said. "How can you have a crush on someone and never even know what they really look like?"  
  
"As King of Failed Internet Romances, I feel I'm justified in saying it's very easy," Nate sighed. "Too easy. Especially when you don't hear anything bad about the person."  
  
"And now you do?" Gamer asked, looking shocked.  
  
"No. I just realize there are lots of people-women especially-that do things like her. Like Chandri and Seraph and-"  
  
"Dyce?" Sakura suggested.  
  
"Uh...I was going to say Yasmin, but yes. Wait...why weren't THEY on the list?!"  
  
"Well, Cell made it," Gamer said. "You know he always does things halfway if there's a chance for less work."  
  
"Gah. Guess you're right."  
  
"So then why did the Feedback Feeder explode?" Sakura wondered aloud.  
  
"Oh, that's easy," Nate replied. "With all websites she's constantly hosting, not to mention her other countless duties, fic-related or otherwise, it's safe to assume that the Scribe doesn't have much time for actually Writing fics. Or that she'd be absolutely sick of doing so by now."  
  
"Heaven forbid," Gamer added, looking concerned.  
  
"So when the Feedback Feeder actually got some feedback on her, it didn't know what to do. So it exploded."  
  
"That...almost makes sense," Sakura said slowly.  
  
"I don't think I've ever actually given her feedback before," Nate noted. "Maybe it went into shock."  
  
"The important thing is that it's gone," Gamer said. "But Yugi's still mad at you. How are you going to prove that you're not stuck on the Scribe?"  
  
"I don't know if I can," Nate admitted. "I mean, I know it, and you two know it, but I don't know how to prove it. It's not like I drink martinis with her on the weekends."  
  
"Because you're anti-social and under 21," Sakura replied automatically.   
  
"And because I don't really know her personally," Nate added.   
  
"Or any other Writer, for that matter," Gamer whispered, then covered his mouth.  
  
"No, you've got a point. I've always been isolated, even in Subreality. That's why I joined the SCMFF, to see if I could make some friends-"  
  
"-while watching Yugi beat the snot out of their Muses?" Gamer suggested.  
  
"Hey, it was entirely voluntary, and she only fought Gator the Griffin...and lost, due to some weird circumstances. Anyway, the whole thing pretty much came to a standstill after that."  
  
"Too bad," Gamer murmured. "I would've liked to see it. It sounded interesting."  
  
"Yeah, but then I would've signed you up, too," Nate pointed out. "And it might've been hard for anyone to fight any one of you, for fear of the other two jumping in."  
  
"It does sound very one-sided," Sakura agreed. "And Yugi-san is scary enough alone."  
  
Nate stared into his glass. "Yeah, especially when she's mad at me..."  
  
* * * * *   
  
Yugi crossed her arms over her chest and pouted. "Well, he knows how I feel about that whole mess."  
  
"Aw, you know Nate didn't mean it, princess," Cell said. "Besides, this is Subreality. Sucking up to the Scribe is a GOOD thing."  
  
"I've never done it."  
  
"You don't HAVE to do it. You're Yugi. Your throng of loyal admirers can do it FOR you."  
  
Yugi sighed. "But he knows I'm sensitive about...girls."  
  
Cell paused. "You like girls?"  
  
"NO! I mean I don't like HIM liking girls!"  
  
"So you want Nate to be gay?"  
  
"No, Cell!"  
  
Cell smiled. "Easy to be misinterpreted then, isn't it?"  
  
Yugi paused and frowned. "I hate it when you're right."  
  
"Look, you know Nate adores you. Stop being difficult...just this once. You can be mad at him for something else later. You know he's gonna screw up eventually, right?"  
  
Yugi sighed. "Yeah, okay."  
  
"There's my good girl. Now, go play kissy-face with your Writer so he can stop being bummed. Kami knows I can't be around him when he's like that."  
  
* * * * *  
  
D sighed loudly. "Deemon, haven't you asked ENOUGH questions about the Scribe yet?"  
  
"I can't help it, big sister. I want to know what kind of person Writer Nate likes."  
  
"Does it really matter? He likes you. That should be enough."  
  
"But...I'm not a person."  
  
"Even more reason for you not to be concerned about it."  
  
"But I don't know anything about people or love or why they keep falling in it."  
  
D rolled her eyes. "Well, nobody understands any of that stuff. That's why it's confusing."  
  
"But Writer Nate doesn't like things he doesn't understand," Deemon pointed out.  
  
"Well, Nate doesn't get girls, but he's crazy about them. Not unlike every other straight guy..."  
  
"Oh." Deemon thought for a long moment. "What are girls like?"  
  
D stared at her. "Um...they're pretty and sweet-smelling and nice to be around."  
  
"Like you?"  
  
"Uh...yeah. Like me." D frowned. "Well, not EXACTLY like me. Most girls don't have powers...unless they're fictives or Writers or Muses...or something else entirely."  
  
"And Writer Nate likes girls with powers?"  
  
D sighed again. "Look, sweetie. There's something you have to know about our Writer. You may not like it, but I'm gonna tell you, anyway." She took a deep breath. "Nate...well...he's WEIRD, kiddo."  
  
"Weird?"  
  
"Yes, with a capital W. Most guys like girls because they're soft and have things like lips, breasts, shapely figures, and...stuff."  
  
"Writer Nate doesn't like that stuff?"  
  
D opened her mouth, then shut it. "It's not that he doesn't LIKE it. It's just that he thinks...other things are more important."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Well...like...brains. Nate likes brains."  
  
"Like zombies?"  
  
"NO." D groaned in frustration. "Not for eating, Deemon. For...admiring, I guess. Nate likes girls that have better imaginations than him. And they're tough to find, because he's got a hyperactive one that never really stops. Not that he looks all that hard, though."  
  
"So...Writer Nate likes the Scribe because she's got a better imagination than him?"  
  
"Well...that's part of it. See, Nate's so weird that he can't fit in with regular people. The only place he really belongs is Subreality, and since the Scribe is credited with creating Subreality, Nate really likes her. I mean, look at you. Nate made you, and you like him. It's kinda like that."  
  
"Writer Nate likes the Scribe because she has a bigger brain?"  
  
D blinked. "You can't take ALL this stuff literally, but I guess so."  
  
"Then why doesn't Muse Yugi like her?"  
  
"Yugi does like her, she just acts like she doesn't. It's in her nature to be jealous of anyone Nate likes."  
  
"But she's not jealous of us, is she?"  
  
"Not usually, but that's only cuz she's figured out that we're not going away. And Gamer keeps her busy."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"I could have you tortured, y'know. With poking devices and fire and mind probes."  
  
"Or you could mindwipe me and have your way with my body."  
  
"Don't tempt me, Nate."  
  
"Sorry. Really."  
  
Yugi peered over his shoulder. "What's that you're working on?"  
  
"Apology."  
  
"How far did you get?"  
  
Nate paused. "Um...To My Wonderful, Powerful, Devastatingly Beautiful Muse."  
  
"You forgot popular."  
  
"Ah. Knew it was missing something. Anyway, that's as far as I got."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I couldn't figure out how to hug you on paper."  
  
"Stop being cute. You're not allowed yet."  
  
"Yugi, we've been over this. Ultimately, it doesn't matter who I like because I'm just going to end up alone, anyway."  
  
"Well, the next time you do a feedback fic, don't expect me to help if you're just gonna suck up to HER."  
  
Nate smirked. "I don't see the problem. You're hardly any different than she is."  
  
"Excuse me?!"  
  
"Well, think about it. You both Inspire and amaze me constantly, and I'm scared of you."  
  
"Scared?" Yugi asked, blinking.  
  
"You both have a legion of loyal followers that would destroy on command, no questions asked. At least I'd stand a chance against your group, though."  
  
"Um...but she wouldn't DO that," Yugi pointed out.  
  
"You know I'm pessimistically paranoid. I have to think of every negative possibility so I don't get nasty surprises."  
  
"Funny how that didn't save you from my wrath this morning."  
  
"Er...I was only looking at bad results involving the Feedback Feeder. I figured the worst would be it got too hungry and ate us."  
  
"Ew!"  
  
"I couldn't have killed it without HER name, so I suggest you stop considering that name a curse."  
  
"Fine. But no more feedback fics with HER in them."  
  
"Yugi, you're being stubborn. And I have to put that Subreality belongs to her in there somewhere."  
  
"You don't, either! It's assumed!"  
  
"Even so, it never hurts to give credit where it's due."  
  
"You just like saying her name."  
  
Nate rolled his eyes. "Because I feel stupid saying 'Scribe' over and over again when she's told us her name. It's not a secret. How would you like it if I just called you Muse 1?"  
  
"You wouldn't dare. I have a bloodthirsty throng, remember?"  
  
"I thought they were admirers."  
  
Yugi shrugged. "Throng sounds more violent. Discourages disobedient Writers."  
  
"Meaning me?"  
  
"ESPECIALLY you."  
  
"Gah."  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Disclaimer: If your name showed up somewhere and it was spelled correctly, be happy. I'm terrible with both names and remembering how to spell them. Anyway, if it showed up at all, you may safely assume that I would be glad to kiss the ground you walk on...if I wasn't so afraid of germs...and dirt...  
Parts of this are true, parts of it are fibs, and the rest is outright lies. Have fun attempting to separate them.  
Subreality belongs to Kielle, and the Feeder...is totally up for grabs. Modify it (them?) as you wish, if you even want one. Many thanks to Damien, who indirectly inspired me with his own recent feedback fic (not to mention the well-timed return of Sushi, just before V-Day!).   
And stop looking at me like that, I already told you I was weird. 


	14. 3rd Time's A Charm

Note: Here's my attempt at a normal, proper, Red Rose fic. Emphasis on attempt... PG-13.  
  
Summary: Fic love only lasts for as long as the fic does...right?  
  
  
Third Time's a Charm  
by Nate  
  
  
Okay, no pressure. Deep breath. Just walk up to her, drop to one knee, and break out the rose.  
  
...okay, no knee, that's for wimps. Just walking and the rose. Right.  
  
...no walking? Legs not responding to commands again...dammit!!!  
  
And she's gone AGAIN.  
  
I thought this would get easier. Thought, anyway.   
  
Maybe it would've been, if I'd gone Super Saiyan. But Yugi's already figured out why I do that outside of fights, and it's...well...embarrassing. Earth guys have it easy. All THEY have to do is wear really thick pants and long jackets. But you can't really hide golden, pointy hair. Now THERE'S an erection for you.  
  
Kami, I've got to stop doing that...  
  
I've seen Yugi three times today, and each time I try to give her the rose, I choke. It's not FAIR. Even gravity training got easy after a while. Why hasn't talking to girls?  
  
Well, not girls. Just Yugi.   
  
It's all HIS fault. Nate's, I mean. Don't get me wrong, I do appreciate the hook-ups he gives me in stories. But he's the one that gave me this...this Yugi curse. If he hadn't spent so damn LONG on that one fic where she and I were an item, maybe I wouldn't still feel this way about her.   
  
It's not supposed to be this way. You're in love for a fic, and then it's over. Heero did it. Tenchi did it. Heck, there's even a rumor that Sasami did it (Nate swears it isn't true, but I dunno). So I, Trunks Vegeta Briefs, Prince of the Saiyans, should have NO problem getting over Yugi and ultimately forgetting about her. I shouldn't have feelings for her now...well, not THOSE feelings.  
  
But I do. And it hurts.  
  
Because I know Yugi's moved on. That one fic must be the farthest thing from her mind now, because she only sees me as a friend and an ex...one of the ones she's still friends with. Well, she's friends with all of them. None of them are still in love with her. None but me.  
  
We're not even from the same fandom. I'm supposed to want Pan, dammit! Well, according to Nate, anyway. Of course, he's only done one T/P story so far, and it took ages for him to get to the good part. And THEN he wouldn't even do a sequel! Never mind that we both got killed and ended up in heaven.   
  
But much as I loved Pan, even she pales in comparison to Yugi. Everyone does. She's my goddess, and if I could just work up the nerve, I'd kiss her feet. Of course, I'd have to get her shoes off first, but...  
  
Okay, this has GOT to STOP. I have to tell her. Somehow...  
  
* * * * *  
  
No pressure. NO pressure. Just...walk over there and...and...  
  
Oh, no. NO. DAMN YOU, LEGS!!!  
  
And she's gone. Yet AGAIN.  
  
That's it. I'm cutting off my legs and selling them on the black market. I know Gero would be interested, or maybe Cell's hungry...  
  
"Trunks."  
  
I spin around, only to find my legs STILL aren't working, and fall flat on my face.  
  
I expect her to laugh, but she reaches down to help me up instead.  
  
"No luck with Yugi, huh?" she asks sympathetically.  
  
I shake my head sadly.  
  
"Look, Trunks. I don't know if I should be telling you this, but...you haven't got a chance. It would never work out."  
  
"I know," I mutter.  
  
"Then why are you doing this to yourself?"  
  
"Because I can't stop myself from loving her. Don't you think I've tried? I don't want to be this way!"  
  
"Then what do you think telling Yugi about it will solve?"  
  
"Well, then she could get Nate to fix me, and then-"  
  
"Not gonna happen. You know almost as well as I do that Yugi loves attention. Especially from cute powerhouses like yourself."  
  
I'm not blushing. I'm NOT. Okay, I am.   
  
"Trunks, there's nothing for Nate TO fix. You've got to do this on your own."  
  
"How do YOU know?" I ask.  
  
"If I can go from hating Yugi to being her best bud, you can go from obsessive to just liking her a little. You're just having trouble because your bond to her is exceptionally strong. Apparently, Nate really made a good choice by making you two an item."   
  
"But we're NOT anymore! The fic's over!"  
  
"Then why are you chasing after her with that rose?"  
  
"Because I don't know how to STOP!" I shout.  
  
"You could start by noticing other girls. But if you give that rose to Yugi, you might as well hand over your soul, too."  
  
I realize she's making a lot of sense as she walks away. Suddenly, inspiration hits me, and I hold a hand over the rose, charging the air above it until the petals turn black. Then I run to catch up with her. "Hey, wait a minute!"  
  
She turns to look at me. "Yes?"  
  
I offer the rose and blush a bit. "Be my Valentine?"  
  
She surprises me by accepting the rose and smiling. "Okay. But next time, I'd prefer one that was naturally grown this way and NOT burned to a crisp."  
  
"Gotcha." I offer her my arm.  
  
She takes it. "So, what all does being your Valentine include?"  
  
I shrug. "Dinner, a movie, all expenses-paid trip to the local make-out spot..."  
  
She smiles again. "Pretty confident, aren't you?"  
  
"Well, you're the exact opposite of what I'm supposed to be avoiding, so I figure I better cover as many bases with you as I can."  
  
"That's assuming you don't strike out in the next five seconds, lover boy."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"That was nice of you, Muse Yugi."   
  
"I look out for my pals."  
  
"But I didn't know you could Inspire fictives, too."  
  
Yugi shrugged. "Eh. It's a gift." She patted Deemon's head. "Now, we've got to get YOU a date."  
  
Deemon blushed. "We do?"  
  
"Yes, we do. You'll never meet any cute boys hanging around Nate all the time."  
  
"But I can't talk, Muse Yugi!"  
  
"Doesn't matter. I bet we could get Enzo to take you somewhere nice. Or Mike the TV, if you go for that sort of thing."  
  
"Couldn't I just ask Writer Nate to be my Valentine?"  
  
"Yeah, you COULD, but you know that's a guaranteed yes. He'd never say no to you, and it's not like he has anyone else. There's no challenge."  
  
"But I don't WANT a challenge, Muse Yugi. I don't want to get rejected..."  
  
Yugi frowned. "Don't ANY of you people have self-esteem?! It's a wonder I'M not depressed from hanging around with you guys."  
  
Deemon looked nervous. "But you're prettier than me, Muse Yugi..."  
  
"Oh, don't worry about THAT. I'm prettier than everyone, and they deal with it. You just have to find a boy that's not as cute as Gamer..."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because, that's why. Now, c'mon." Yugi took Deemon by the hand. "We'll swing by the Villain's Bailiwick on the way home. Maybe you'll get lucky."  
  
"But...I'm not evil, Muse Yugi."  
  
"Pssh. That's not what the psychic hologram I'll be projecting will say. Now, you'll look at lot like Daemon would, so lose the shy stuff already. That works for roughly ten seconds in most places."  
  
"But won't that give someone the wrong idea about me?"  
  
Yugi rolled her eyes. "Trust me, kiddo. In your case, getting the wrong idea about you would be a good thing..."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Disclaimer: I stand by my belief that Valentine's is not a real holiday. But if it ever gets me out of class, I might even buy myself some chocolate. 


End file.
